Pieces of Me

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Merry Christmas!

We aren't sending out too many Christmas Cards this year.  We just don't have the extra funds to share this beautiful card with everyone, so we are sending a few out to our out of town family and friends.  And for everyone else, we can share it this way.  Merry Christmas everyone.  We love you all. 
Silent Holy Night Religious Christmas Card
Custom Christmas cards are always available at Shutterfly.com.
View the entire collection of cards.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Beautiful Things

I have been really angry lately. Angry at my heavenly Father. I am still really angry. I’ve never experienced being genuinely angry with God. Ever. Not during what I believe were some of the worst times in my life – miscarriage, stillbirth, death of loved ones, disasters happening around me. I’ve never once gotten angry with the Lord. Not like I am right now.

I’ve said to many recently, I am so thankful for His grace and love because right now, my faith and trust in Him are so small. Tiny. I almost feel like a new Christian.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t doubt the love of my Father. I don’t doubt my love for Him.

But this anger is eating away inside of me. Anger and disappointment. I really feel like the Lord failed those I love deeply. Failed as a Father. A heavenly Father.

Forgiveness is not an option right now. Not at the situation. I really don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive.

Understanding is never going to happen. I will never understand why this has happened and how it could have happened at all. I am to the point now where I realize I have to stop trying to understand because it only makes me more angry.

Acceptance. At some point, there will be acceptance, but I don’t have to be happy with that.

Regardless of my anger, we have still be attended the Gathering on Sunday Mornings at the Well to worship with those who love me and will continue to love me regardless of how angry I am. Again, my feelings are valid.

Mary, dear, beautiful, sweet Mary, chose this song to be sung on Sunday. I’ve heard it before. I’ve sang it before, but I really experienced this song - listened to the lyrics, and felt in my heart that everything will one day be okay.  Is it okay now?  Not really?  Is that okay?  I can live with it.

But most importantly, the ones I love who are experiencing even more gut-wrenching than mine?  They are beautiful.  In spite of everything.  They are beautiful.  And being made new.
        All this pain
        I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
        I wonder if my life could really change at all

       Out of chaos life is being found in You

       You make beautiful things

       You make beautiful things out of the dust
       You make beautiful things
       You make beautiful things out of us

      You make me new, You are making me new
     You make me new, You are making me new

It's not going to be easy.  It's not going to come quickly.  Healing has to happen.  Healing has to take place.  Trust has to be rebuilt.  Yes, even the trust I have in my heavenly Father.

But I am made new. 

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Food Critic–Daiya

I was talking to a friend about how my little boy loves Mac and Cheese.  He was very sad to see that I am not stocking our pantry with Annie’s Gluten Free Mac and Cheese.  Although this was never a staple in our home, we did eat it on occasion (once a month).  And it made for a quick and easy dish to send to school with him during the school year.  Kelly posted this about Mac and Cheese on her blog and although I told her we don’t eat Kraft, she reminded me that the stuff in Annie’s is still just as processed.  And she’s right.  Since I am giving up dairy, I don’t keep a lot of cheese in our home and I was looking for a dairy alternative to cheese that did not include soy to make with the Quinoa noodles I found by Andean Dream.  I know, not 100% Paleo, but in all the reading I’ve been doing lately, many suggest with the kids to move to Gluten Free first and then slowly move to completely grain free.  It’s a process.  I don’t want them fighting me tooth and nail regarding food – you read my last post right?

Anyway, she suggested maybe trying Daiya – something she had read about.  So since we were shopping at Whole Foods, I checked it out.  After all, it claims to be Cholesterol free, Trans Fat free, Dairy free, Vegan, free of all animal products, Kosher Pareve, Free of common allergens including: Dairy (casein & lactose), soy, gluten, eggs, peanuts and tree nuts (excluding coconut).  Before purchasing, I did check out the list of ingredients and although there is one ingredient that bothers me (mainly because it’s claiming all of the above), I went ahead and bought it. 


I bought the Cheddar Style Wedge.  It claims to be great melted or sliced.  I got home and sliced a tiny sliver to taste.  And let me tell you – gross.  It’s like eating Velveeta or cheese food.  I don’t know what I expected.  I think I just really wanted a slice of cheddar cheese.  LOL

I told this to Kelly but mentioned that I would still try to use it in Mac and Cheese.  And that’s what I did.  I made Mac and Cheese with the daiya and butter <—well margarine, which is not good either, but we are trying to use up what we have that is already opened.  I cleaned out the pantry and gave my mother-in-law tons of Whole Wheat Pasta and canned soups. 

I digress.  The Mac and Cheese was exactly what Cayden wanted.  He loved it.  Hannah enjoyed it, and yes, even I dug it. Smile 

Now – here is my confusion/issue – this product claims to be soy-free, but it contains canola oil.  Canola oil is a mixture of CORN and SOYBEAN OIL meaning that it contains soy.  I’m a little confused and am planning on contacting the manufacturer to get some answers – just to clear up any confusion. 

Regardless, it tastes just like mac and cheese from a box (which I can’t decide if that’s a good or a bad thing LOL). 

Here are the ingredients for you to check out for yourself.  Looks pretty processed to me, but it’s not containing any artificial coloring.

Filtered water, tapioca flour, palm fruit oil, non-GMO expeller pressed canola and/or pressed safflower oil, pea protein, coconut oil, salt, inactive yeast, vegetable glycerin, xanthan gum, vegan natural flavours, gum arabic, lactic acid (vegan, for flavor), annatto, titanium dioxide (a naturally occurring mineral), natural smoke flavour, vegan enzyme.