Pieces of Me

Monday, April 12, 2010


I have lots of favorites.  My favorite colors are purple and yellow.  My favorite food is peanut butter ice cream.  My favorite soft drink is Cherry Coke.  I have a favorite pair of jeans, a favorite shirt, even a favorite blanket.
There is an appropriate place for favorites.  It is okay to have favorite things.  It is not okay to have favorites kiddos in the classroom, or favorite people in your family. 
I’ve teased and said, “spending time with my favorite people,” but in reality, those are just people to whom I am closest. 
Sometimes it’s hard to not get upset when favoritism is shown.  I try my hardest to not get upset.  And I am teaching my children that there is a time and a place for favorites.  Hannah has favorite colors – pink and yellow.  Cayden has a pair of favorite pajamas – the ones with racecars.  Both kids have their favorite blanket, their “baba” as they like to call them.
They do not however have favorite people – as far as I can tell.  They love to play with everyone.  They love do like to play with certain people, but whenever we are with a group of children, I notice that they tend to be the peacemaker, the ones who want everyone to play together, or play with children who are similar in gender or age.  Regardless, they rarely leave people out.  And that makes me a very proud parent. 
I guess I need to look at my children and follow their example in this area.  Instead of feeling sad because someone is showing favoritism over another, I should just take it with a grain of salt, and live life as the person who wants everyone to get along and no one to feel left out.  I need the reminder that I don’t like everyone and so therefore not everyone is going to like me.  I’m not going to be able to be friends with everyone, but I can be nice to those people, even those I do not like.
Of course, I suppose it all has to do with what happens to us as we get older.  Being the adult who was left out as a child, I want my children to include everyone.  And I want everyone to like my children as much as they like others.  So I notice it more when it is happening.
And regardless, I have two favorite children, my own, but if they are ever being ugly to other people, I scold them.  Respect is something I want my children to learn.  I want it to become second nature.  Maybe I’m asking too much of my children, but as far as I can tell, they are both happy and loving. 
And I must give myself the gentle reminder in the book of James that favoritism is indeed a sin, and therefore requires forgiveness. 
James 2:9 - But if you treat some people better than others, you have done wrong, and the Scriptures teach that you have sinned” (CEV).
 James 2:1 - My brothers,show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory” (CEV).
And I am so thankful for His forgiveness, because although I try my best to not have “favorites,” I know that I fail.  And so I am able to admit my mistake, ask for forgiveness, and receive it.  And that’s a pretty amazing gift.


Traci said...

I'm sorry for the memories of being left out - and the part that's hurtful, but I have a completely different take on this. I think it's completely normal to have favorites. I don't think it's normal or okay to treat people unkindly or to gossip, etc.

However, as humans, we have preferences. I know that not everyone likes me. I know that me just being "me" isn't their cup of tea. Does that bother me? Sort of. But I accept it. And I remind myself that not everyone is *my* cup of tea. That is not to say there is anything wrong with them ... we're just different.

Keep your chin up, keep smiling, and keep growing ... Love you!