Pieces of Me

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Insensitive? I promise I’m not

Early this morning, I had someone accuse me of being insensitive.  There were two situations today in which I laughed involuntarily.  I didn’t purposely laugh.  I didn’t even think the situations were funny, but before I could stop myself, I chuckled out loud (kind of like a blech, but a laugh) and then expressed my genuine sympathies to these situations.
Death is not funny to me.  Cancer is not funny to me.  Someone falling down and getting hurt is not funny to me.  But for some reason, I laugh before I am sad.  My sister is the exact same way.  And she’s gotten called on it as well.  She, too, feels awkward and embarrassed. 
But today, I stuck up for myself.  I sat the person down who just blurted out in front of a group of people, “laughing at tragedy?  that’s totally inappropriate,” and explained to her why I do it.  I guess I don’t really know why I do it, but I can’t help it.  I’ve tried and it just happens.
But I promise I’m not insensitive.  In fact, several people have told me I’m the most compassionate and caring person they know.  And in certain situations, I do not laugh at all.  Some situations are too shocking to even get a chuckle out of me.
Of course, being who I am, I have spoken to several others today who have said that lots of people react this way.  And I even Googled it when I got home.  And I’m not alone.  Just apparently the only one in this group of ladies.  :)
So there’s my dilemma.  Take it or leave it, but please try to understand.