Pieces of Me

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Working Out

So I have a new commitment.  With myself.  For myself.  About a month ago, I started running again – to train, to condition, and just to be.  My ultimate goal for myself is to lose 60 lbs.  Right now, I’d be happy if I could just lose 10 lb.  It’s slow going, and not fun. 

You’ve heard the saying, “It didn’t take you 2 months to put on the weight, it’s not going to take you 2 months to take it off.”  I kinda hate being told that.  It didn’t take me 2 months, but in less than a year (7 months to be exact), I lost 14 lbs and then gained 30 lb.  30 lbs!  On top of the 30 I needed to lose due to baby weight from carrying Cayden. 

I’m a stress eater – comfort eater – just plain eater.  And this summer, I decided that I’m tired of being unhappy with myself.  I’m happy in my life.  I love my kids.  Love my husband.  Love my friends.  I just don’t love myself right now.  Or I don’t love my self image.  I don’t know why I’m so hard on myself.  I know that part of it is that I’ve been that fit, thin, and healthy person.  And it really wasn’t that long ago.  Well, 5 years ago I was at my goal weight.  And people told me I was glowing and just happy. 

Right now I’m a happy person, but I am more negative at times than I would like to admit.  I’ve been on antidepressant/anxiety medication for 4 1/2 years.  I was pregnant with Cayden when I went on them.  Last year, I was able to taper off them when I was active.  And then I became less active and had to start taking them again. 

Last month, I stopped taking them, started exercising (running and some strength training), following my weight watchers points allowance, and drinking my water.  Although I haven’t lost as much weight as I would like – it took me 10 months to lose 50 lbs in 2004-2005 – I feel better.  I feel confident that I don’t need the medication anymore – just so long as I’m active. 

I know I will get there.  I just have to stick with it.  And really watch what I’m eating – because what is it, 85% of losing weight is diet and 15% is exercise (for the normal person – not the person on the biggest loser show whose job is to work out for 8 hours a day).

Needed to get this all out there. 

And now, I’ve been awarded a blog award.  I think this is super cute :)  So thank you to my sweet friend, and fellow blogger, Traci for selecting my blog as a Blog with Substance, especially since this blog is really like a journal at times – or a newspaper – full of pointless or extremely proud information about my life and all that’s crazy within it.  Unlike my blog, Traci’s thoughts seem to come together a little better (okay or maybe I’m just really hard on myself).  Be sure to check out Traci’s Tall Tales and read the about her chronicle all the crazy things in her life. 

Blog with Substance Award

Now it's my turn to pass this along.  To accept my award, I must:
1. Thank the person who gave it to me. (see above)
2. Sum up my blogging philosophy/motivation/experience in/with five words – reflect, share, rant, life, love

3. Pass this award on up to 10 bloggers who I consider to have substance.