Pieces of Me

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Made to Crave–Day 2 “Replacing My Cravings”

  1. 1.  Vicious cycles.  In the past, I have to admit that I used to follow the WW program, weigh in, have a loss, follow the WW program, weigh in have a loss, kind of follow the WW program, weigh in, have a gain, not follow the WW program, weigh in, have a gain, follow the WW program, weigh in, have a loss, etc, etc.  Or I would weigh myself every day.  One day I’d have a loss, so I’d go ahead and have that extra cookie.  Weigh the next day and have gained.  Be really strict.  Weigh the next day, lose.  Stray a little.  Repeat, repeat, repeat.  And I’d get frustrated with myself.  I wouldn’t understand.  I just would get angry.  Like I’ve mentioned before, I have mastered the art of maintaining.  Unfortunately, it’s at the wrong weight.  And obviously, I wasn’t 100% committed.  I didn’t have the I WANT to.  I just had the I don’t want to be here anymore.   I certainly don’t fall into those practices anymore.  I know how badly they make me feel.  Now, I really get into an exercise routine and do really well.  But then I get sick, or someone gets sick, or I get busy.  There’s no excuse for my excuses.  I do have to say that I’m trying.  The biggest cycle I get into is not going to the grocery store enough so therefore we don’t have any food and instead of going to the grocery store, we eat out.  That really has to stop.  When I cook at home, I eat better, I feel better, I live better.  I need to get over the convenience of fast food – or eating out.  I just need to plan better, get more organized, and learn to freeze meals!
  2. What reasons motivate me to eat healthier?  Well, for one, I really want to be healthy.  I want to be happy.  And I want to be a role model to my children.  But the truth in the matter?  I’ve decided it’s vanity.  I really want to know that I am at a healthy weight and look good.  Tough words to type.  But it’s true.  I’ve been that fit and healthy person who has a kid and still wears a size 6.  I’ve been that mom.  How do I respond to the statement, “I had to see the purpose of my struggle as something more than wearing smaller sizes and getting compliments from others….It had to be about something more than just me” ?  Well, it certainly makes me think.  And it makes me realize that I really do need to rethink my wanting to lose weight.  It’s not just about me.  It can’t be. 
  3. In the past few weeks have I turned to food for any of these reasons?  Comfort – yes, Reward – yes, Joy – no, Stress – yes, Sadness – yes, Happiness – no.  If I had relied on God instead of turning to food, I know that I’d probably have more peace in my life.  And I’d certainly weigh less Smile 
  4. I think it is a spectacular idea to use my cravings to prompt me to pray.  Never once have I been let down by praying to the Lord.  No matter what the circumstance, I always feel better after I pray. 
  5. I would really like my quick approaches to work when it comes to weight loss, but I know deep in my heart, and because I’ve been there, that slow and steady is the way to go.  This is the beginning of dismantling my “tower of impossibility” one craving at a time.  Time to turn away from food and get on my knees.