Pieces of Me

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Finishing What I Started–Made to Crave–Chapter 8–Making Peace with the Realities of My Body

Months ago I started reading the book, Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst.  I have gone back and forth with myself on whether or not to finish the book.  I struggled with the fact that a lady who only had 30 pounds or so to lose wrote an entire book on weight loss.  And then after talking to a friend and continuing to read through it, I have come to the realization that the book isn’t about weight loss.  It’s about finding a deeper relationship with our heavenly Father and about how we can do NOTHING on our own in this world.  Nothing. 

Of course, there are some that read that statement and aren’t believers.  And to be honest with you, I do not know how to respond to them.  I just know that I, personally, cannot do this on my own.  I just can’t.  And I think that my struggle with my weight in the most recent years is because I got cocky and thought, I can do this.  *I’ve* done it before.  *I’ve* lost the weight. *I* don’t need to rely on anything.  And you know what, God said, “Oh really. . . let’s see. . .” making the last few years of my trying to lose weight continue to be a battle because I thought I could do it alone. 

The Lord wants to have a relationship with me.  He wants me to be a part of His family.  He LOVES me.  Paul (our pastor at the Well) touched on it today.  The Lord loves me so much He sings over me—rejoicing in me.  ME!

The LORD your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
   he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.   (Zephaniah 3:17 ESV)

The Message says it like this –

Your God is present among you,
   a strong Warrior there to save you.
Happy to have you back, he'll calm you with his love
   and delight you with his songs.

Wow!  The least I can do is take care of the temple the Lord gave to me – not because I have to, but because I want to.  Thankful He will take me back EVERY TIME I turn away – which although my faith is strong, is often because I have put food before him.  But now, I know how to fight those cravings by seeking Him.

Onto the Reflection questions.

1.  The one physical feature I wish I could change is my nose.  I have always felt like I have a big nose. I don’t’ know why.  It’s silly, but that’s how I feel.  I’ve really come to accept my nose because I’m older and realize that it’s really not that bad, but when I have a photo taken, it’s still the first thing I notice.  Weird, I know.  At the moment, I’m very unhappy with my chest size.  I’ve always had this issue since having my kiddos. . . too much of a good thing, I guess.

2. My greatest motivation to continue modifying my eating habits and more forward towards my weight loss goal?  I must admit it is how others react to my changes.  Having always been compared to my sister (love you, sister), it has always been hard for me.  Once I started losing weight others referred to me a “pretty” and “lovely” and “thin.”  Those are all words that made me feel good and encouraged me to keep chugging along.  At times recently, they have been demotivators because I have felt like I would never be there again.  And it’s ME beating myself up.  No one else.  Only a few relationships in my life have changed because I’ve put weight back on.  And I realize that there is nothing I can do about that.  I need people to love me for who I am NOW and always, not for who they want me to be.

3.  The following questions are awesome motivators to ask during the week if the scale says something disappointing:

    • Did I overeat this week on any day?
    • Did I move more and exercise regularly?
    • Do I feel lighter than I did at this time last week?
    • Did I eat in secret or out of anger or frustration?
    • Did I feel that, at any time, I ran to food instead of God?
    • Before I hopped on the scale, did I think I’d had a successful, God-pleasing week? (Made to Crave, pg. 84-85)

4.  Place an X on the continuum below to describe your current feelings about your body.

-----------------------------------------------------------X-------------------------------------------------

My body is cursed with flaws                                                                              My body is a good gift

Imagine for a moment that the placement of the X above was made not by me but by someone I love—a child, a friend, a sister.  How would the placement of the X make me feel.  What would I say to that person.  How might you pray for them.  Are these things I could say to myself?  Pray for myself?

    • I know for a fact that other people feel my body is a good gift.  Hannah doesn’t care what I look like.  Cayden tells me I’m pretty.  Stephen shows me daily how much he loves me and thinks I’m beautiful.  He just wants me to be happy with myself. 

5.  Hidden benefits of my big nose and chest?  I’m gonna have to think about that one.

6.  If someone offered to grant me one wish (of a choice given) which one would I choose?  The answer is obvious – A permanent reorientation of how I think and feel about my body that would enable me to say wholeheartedly, “I’ve found my beautiful.  And I like my beautiful.” <--- I’m working on it.  Little by little every day. 

 

(Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst – Chapter 8)

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