Pieces of Me

Monday, January 30, 2012

Made to Crave–Chapter 10: This Isn’t Fair!

1.  The last special occasion I attended was for my birthday Smile.  We met at Phil’s Ice House and had burgers and fries, a scoop of Amy’s Ice Cream and MoCakes Cake Pops!  To be honest, I did really well over this weekend which started with Red Lobster Smile.

2.  “Temptation doesn’t take kindly to being starved” (page 101).  When I starve temptation in my life, it usually backfires.  Not allowing myself a little indulgence tends to cause me to make horrible choices.  I binge and then really regret it.  When it comes to food, I have learned that it is okay to give in sometimes, but just a little bit.  I will cut a dessert in half or share with someone.  There are some areas and things that I have to cut out completely.  Alcohol is one of them.  I learned that I just cannot have “one drink.”  Maybe one day I will be able to, but for now, I have to just do without.  And I don’t really crave it.  Soda (or Coke) is another one.  I have learned that I can have a little Root Beer or Sparkling Juice and be fine for weeks, but if I give in to the temptation of a real Coke, it is like a downward spiral and that’s it.  I’m okay with this.  Maybe one day I’ll be able to have it again, but for now, I’d rather have a Chai tea or a cup of flavored (infused) coffee and a scoop of ice cream over 12 oz of soda that I won’t be able to stop drinking.

3.  I know that I am relying on my own strengths instead of turning to him when I #1 – get angry because I can’t have something.  Sometimes Stephen tries to help me and will ask me, “do you really need that?”  It makes me so angry.  But you know what, he’s right.  And now I do it to him.  And although it ticks him off at the time, he knows I’m only trying to help him.  I have a motto – I’m not really hungry and don’t need it if I’m not willing to sit down and drink a glass of water and eat an apple before giving in.  The apple (or pear in this case – I’m a bit obsessed with pears) will fill me.  It will give me the sweet fix I need, and is a much better choice.

4.  I have never felt as if the issues I have with food and weight at God’s unfair curse on me.

5.  Asking myself the question “This feels good now, but how will I feel about this in the morning?” is something I ask myself a lot.  And have Stephen ask.  Usually helps me make the right decision. 

6.  “Compromise built upon compromise equals failure…[P]romise upon promise creates empowerment” (page 104).  As I continue to make small decisions about food are leading me towards empowerment.  I can overcome this unhealthy addiction to food.  And in the end, it will benefit everyone around me, especially my family.

7.  “The struggle to say no may be painful in the moment, but it is working out something magnificent within us” (page 104).  I hope that as I turn to my heavenly father during my journey he will draw me closer to Him.