Pieces of Me

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up

I’ve fallen off the bandwagon.  I’m frustrated and disappointed with myself.  Last week, I decided to try and eat some of my favorite things.  Eating them made me feel bad, but it didn’t stop me from putting them back in my mouth.  And so the scale reflected a 4.4 lb gain.  Doesn’t surprise me.  But I am very disappointed.

I tried my darned to get back to eating well again.  I went to the grocery store, bought all the meat and veggies and fruits and then just let them sit.  I think I cooked twice last week.  Stephen cooked once.  We didn’t eat out very much, but I did feed the kids fish sticks and chicken nuggets from the freezer.  What was amazing was hearing them say how the food was “yucky” and asking when I was going to cook again.

I got two new cookbooks and am looking forward to using them a ton.  Last week I cooked something from one of them.  I cannot remember as my concussion has left me with a bit of memory loss.  It’s hard for me to recall information and forget about giving me a task without writing it down. 

On Sunday, Stephen cooked up some 50/50 Bacon Burgers from the new Eat Like a Dinosaur cook book by the Paleo Parents, a blog I follow.  This cook book is so fun for me.  I’m eager to use it every other day, swapping meals with the Well Fed cook book I bought.  My friend, Cindy, recommended this book.  She works out with the author.  I love that she’s from Austin because when I do have a hankering to go out to eat, her blog has awesome places that are Paleo Friendly.

I’m praying these cook books help me to get back on the wagon.  I want to feel better and I want to lose weight.  I know that it’s a batter of my will.  I have to set a start date and an end date.  I have a goal to lose 40 more lbs.  I wanted to start exercising this week, but have been told to wait on that because I was in a car accident and suffered a concussion.  But I really want to run.  Like for real run – not just jog a little bit. 

So as I start over and begin to eat better again, I know that my weight will fluctuate.  The scale said I’m up another 1.8 this week and I know that’s because at the moment, I’m eating whatever someone gives me to eat. 

Tomorrow though, I’m cooking dinner.  Smile

Cheer me on! 


Traci said...

You can do this!

Traci said...

One more thing to say on this ... I wonder if maybe being a perfectionist is making this harder? You know, the all-or-nothing part. The "I can't do the recipes, etc., so I will just forget it this week."

Give yourself permission to do BETTER. You don't have to be perfect, but just make a conscious effort to do better. I know I've shared with you the transition we're making in my house away from processed, etc. Some days/weeks are fantastic. Others, like yesterday, Natalie and I have Kraft Mac N Cheese with Hot Dogs for lunch. Yes, we really did. But today is better and the rest of the week was better too.

I know you've also heard the analogy --- if you got into a fender bender with your car (bad example given your car accident history, I realize), would you just go crash it into a brick wall? You know, "Because it was already wrecked."

That mentality gets a lot of us. I am very much all-or-nothing when it comes to my housework and it is frustrating, disappointing (in myself), and something I'm working hard on correctly (hello, FLYlady).

Anyway, just more food for thought (pun intended). Hang in there. It doesn't have to be all or nothing :)