Pieces of Me

Made to Crave–Chapter 10: This Isn’t Fair!

2012-01-30T13:35:00.001-06:00

1. The last special occasion I attended was for my birthday . We met at Phil’s Ice House and had burgers and fries, a scoop of Amy’s Ice Cream and MoCakes Cake Pops! To be honest, I did really well over this weekend which started with Red Lobster .

2. “Temptation doesn’t take kindly to being starved” (page 101). When I starve temptation in my life, it usually backfires. Not allowing myself a little indulgence tends to cause me to make horrible choices. I binge and then really regret it. When it comes to food, I have learned that it is okay to give in sometimes, but just a little bit. I will cut a dessert in half or share with someone. There are some areas and things that I have to cut out completely. Alcohol is one of them. I learned that I just cannot have “one drink.” Maybe one day I will be able to, but for now, I have to just do without. And I don’t really crave it. Soda (or Coke) is another one. I have learned that I can have a little Root Beer or Sparkling Juice and be fine for weeks, but if I give in to the temptation of a real Coke, it is like a downward spiral and that’s it. I’m okay with this. Maybe one day I’ll be able to have it again, but for now, I’d rather have a Chai tea or a cup of flavored (infused) coffee and a scoop of ice cream over 12 oz of soda that I won’t be able to stop drinking.

3. I know that I am relying on my own strengths instead of turning to him when I #1 – get angry because I can’t have something. Sometimes Stephen tries to help me and will ask me, “do you really need that?” It makes me so angry. But you know what, he’s right. And now I do it to him. And although it ticks him off at the time, he knows I’m only trying to help him. I have a motto – I’m not really hungry and don’t need it if I’m not willing to sit down and drink a glass of water and eat an apple before giving in. The apple (or pear in this case – I’m a bit obsessed with pears) will fill me. It will give me the sweet fix I need, and is a much better choice.

4. I have never felt as if the issues I have with food and weight at God’s unfair curse on me.

5. Asking myself the question “This feels good now, but how will I feel about this in the morning?” is something I ask myself a lot. And have Stephen ask. Usually helps me make the right decision.

6. “Compromise built upon compromise equals failure…[P]romise upon promise creates empowerment” (page 104). As I continue to make small decisions about food are leading me towards empowerment. I can overcome this unhealthy addiction to food. And in the end, it will benefit everyone around me, especially my family.

7. “The struggle to say no may be painful in the moment, but it is working out something magnificent within us” (page 104). I hope that as I turn to my heavenly father during my journey he will draw me closer to Him.

Wimpy, Wimpy, Wimpy

2012-01-18T19:55:00.000-06:00

http://runkeeper.com/user/RoseMc99/activity/67043070

I really wimped out today on my run. I was only going out for a mile, and I'm really disappointed with myself. I can do a mile. A mile is nothing. . . but I wimped out. Now it is crazy Cedar season here in ATX, and instead of running a neighborhood, I thought I would be different and headed to Zilker Park. I didn't want to run the long trail around the lake so I decided to run the trail around the Disc Golf area. Little did I know that they were busy mulching people's Christmas trees in the middle of the field. About 1/2 way through my run, I literally could not breathe anymore and was wishing for my inhaler. I didn't have it with me so I finished the loop (walking) and didn't even make it a mile. So sometime between tomorrow and Friday I have to find time to run a mile because on Saturday I really want to attempt to up my running distance to 1.5 miles. I really think I could do it now, but I'm nursing a killer calf (being treated at the wonderful Dr. Cone's office) and trying to avoid any injury to my ankle, which is hurting because of my calf. I'm happy to say that my hip is doing great and even more so after an adjustment.

Made to Crave–Chapter 9 “But Exercise Makes Me Want to Cry”

2012-01-17T16:04:00.002-06:00

You know, a long time ago exercise made me cringe. It wasn’t until 2005 where I actually enjoyed exercising. After I had lost all my weight, I wanted to maintain my loss so I started swimming. Mom took Hannah for me on the days/evenings that Stephen worked late and I headed to the local pool and spend 30-60 minutes swimming laps. After having Cayden, I was too exhausted to exercise and then never really made the time to do so. Two years ago (2009) I decided I wanted to run/walk a 5k. I started training and completed the 5k101 training. I never could run longer than 12 minutes at one time and it took me 18 minutes to finish a mile running, so my first 5k time was 52 minutes. My 2nd 5k time was 48 minutes which is a little faster, but I’ve never been able to run the entire time. I endured a stress fracture and had to work my way back up to running, but this winter something inside me changed and I have to say that I love running. It’s not easy. But I love it. And I can run 1 mile (and at the moment only 1 mile, I’ll work up to more over the next few months). I can run an entire mile in less than 15 minutes (not much less, but still less). I will continue running just one mile this week and then move on to 1.5 next week and then 2, and so on until I can run 6 miles. I want to run in a 10k. I am not sure how it’s all going to work out, but that is my goal. I am not following any program and hope that once I can run for 30 minutes at a time it will only get easier (I can dream, right?). Regardless, for a girl who once hated to do any sort of activity, getting outside and running is like a dream to me. It’s my one on one time with the Lord and just some actual me time where I’m taking care of myself.

http://runkeeper.com/user/RoseMc99/activity/66766562 <---super proud of this run

I’ve been through lots of experiences that required faith I didn’t think I had. This summer is probably the best example of that time. I never imagined that my life would be turned upside down due to the irresponsible actions of one person. Hard to believe that 6 months and 5 days ago a drunk driver crashed his truck into the side of our house.

Looking at these photos brings back feelings that I really thought were behind me. I found something I wrote a few days after the accident, “We are very thankful for the Lord's protection during this horrible event. We recognize how serious the damage is and know how catastrophic the event could have been, we give praise to God every day for keeping us safe during the actual accident. I know the Lord is using this situation for His good, but that doesn't stop me from being human and stressing out. One thing I will say is that many times we only feel God's presence (or notice it, thank Him for it) during the good times. This summer, there has never been a moment when I have not felt Him. His presence has been here and during this time, I have learned to enjoy His presence, even when things aren't going well.” My relationship with my heavenly Father is stronger than ever.

There are many areas of my life where I feel strong. Teaching children (music mostly) is one of the biggest strengths. I know that I’m called to teach. I cannot see myself doing anything else. Photography is one of my hobbies and I’ve turned that into a partial career, but teaching is my calling. And I’m so thankful.

“Teach me your way, O LORD, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name.” Psalm 86:11. When it comes to my body my children and family obligations/commitments compete for my attention and loyalty. There are times when I feel torn between the desire to honor God and the desire to be loyal to cravings and excuses for not exercising. If my heart was undivided, I think life would be easier, but I don’t think I would be learning or growing.

Some of my time is within my control. I have several responsibilities or obligations that can’t be changed, but I do have pockets of time each week that I can use for things I want to do. Only recently have I started actually making time for exercise. A few weeks ago something changed inside me. I see how important it is to take care of myself. And exercise is taking care of myself.

(Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst)

Finishing What I Started–Made to Crave–Chapter 8–Making Peace with the Realities of My Body

2012-01-15T21:39:00.001-06:00

Months ago I started reading the book, Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst. I have gone back and forth with myself on whether or not to finish the book. I struggled with the fact that a lady who only had 30 pounds or so to lose wrote an entire book on weight loss. And then after talking to a friend and continuing to read through it, I have come to the realization that the book isn’t about weight loss. It’s about finding a deeper relationship with our heavenly Father and about how we can do NOTHING on our own in this world. Nothing.

Of course, there are some that read that statement and aren’t believers. And to be honest with you, I do not know how to respond to them. I just know that I, personally, cannot do this on my own. I just can’t. And I think that my struggle with my weight in the most recent years is because I got cocky and thought, I can do this. *I’ve* done it before. *I’ve* lost the weight. *I* don’t need to rely on anything. And you know what, God said, “Oh really. . . let’s see. . .” making the last few years of my trying to lose weight continue to be a battle because I thought I could do it alone.

The Lord wants to have a relationship with me. He wants me to be a part of His family. He LOVES me. Paul (our pastor at the Well) touched on it today. The Lord loves me so much He sings over me—rejoicing in me. ME!

The LORD your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing. (Zephaniah 3:17 ESV)

The Message says it like this –

Your God is present among you,
a strong Warrior there to save you.
Happy to have you back, he'll calm you with his love
and delight you with his songs.

Wow! The least I can do is take care of the temple the Lord gave to me – not because I have to, but because I want to. Thankful He will take me back EVERY TIME I turn away – which although my faith is strong, is often because I have put food before him. But now, I know how to fight those cravings by seeking Him.

Onto the Reflection questions.

1. The one physical feature I wish I could change is my nose. I have always felt like I have a big nose. I don’t’ know why. It’s silly, but that’s how I feel. I’ve really come to accept my nose because I’m older and realize that it’s really not that bad, but when I have a photo taken, it’s still the first thing I notice. Weird, I know. At the moment, I’m very unhappy with my chest size. I’ve always had this issue since having my kiddos. . . too much of a good thing, I guess.

2. My greatest motivation to continue modifying my eating habits and more forward towards my weight loss goal? I must admit it is how others react to my changes. Having always been compared to my sister (love you, sister), it has always been hard for me. Once I started losing weight others referred to me a “pretty” and “lovely” and “thin.” Those are all words that made me feel good and encouraged me to keep chugging along. At times recently, they have been demotivators because I have felt like I would never be there again. And it’s ME beating myself up. No one else. Only a few relationships in my life have changed because I’ve put weight back on. And I realize that there is nothing I can do about that. I need people to love me for who I am NOW and always, not for who they want me to be.

3. The following questions are awesome motivators to ask during the week if the scale says something disappointing:

Did I overeat this week on any day?
Did I move more and exercise regularly?
Do I feel lighter than I did at this time last week?
Did I eat in secret or out of anger or frustration?
Did I feel that, at any time, I ran to food instead of God?
Before I hopped on the scale, did I think I’d had a successful, God-pleasing week? (Made to Crave, pg. 84-85)

4. Place an X on the continuum below to describe your current feelings about your body.

-----------------------------------------------------------X-------------------------------------------------

My body is cursed with flaws My body is a good gift

Imagine for a moment that the placement of the X above was made not by me but by someone I love—a child, a friend, a sister. How would the placement of the X make me feel. What would I say to that person. How might you pray for them. Are these things I could say to myself? Pray for myself?

I know for a fact that other people feel my body is a good gift. Hannah doesn’t care what I look like. Cayden tells me I’m pretty. Stephen shows me daily how much he loves me and thinks I’m beautiful. He just wants me to be happy with myself.

5. Hidden benefits of my big nose and chest? I’m gonna have to think about that one.

6. If someone offered to grant me one wish (of a choice given) which one would I choose? The answer is obvious – A permanent reorientation of how I think and feel about my body that would enable me to say wholeheartedly, “I’ve found my beautiful. And I like my beautiful.” <--- I’m working on it. Little by little every day.

(Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst – Chapter 8)

Ready to Run. . . .

2012-01-14T19:01:00.001-06:00

It’s been a long time since I’ve even looked at my blog. About a week after my last entry, our life was flipped upside down, and I just haven’t even given a second thought to blogging. And to be honest, I had just been spending too much time and putting too much effort into Facebook.

But I think I’m back. I don’t know how often I will blog, but I hope it will be more often. Probably won’t be anything overly profound, but I would like to get back to blogging about my weight loss journey. It had come to an abrupt halt, but since a few days after Christmas, I’ve been recommitted and actually have nearly lost the 5 lbs I gained back. And something has really just clicked. I realize how badly I want this. Soooo badly.

I am ready to run again (literally and for real). I never thought I was ready to do so, but I learned that as long as I put my focus on Him and rely on my heavenly Father to carry me, I can really do this. It’s not something I can do on my own. I do have to be committed and put forth effort, but I cannot do it alone.

It’s nice to have Stephen on board and really going for it. We are both members of myfitnesspal.com and are holding one another accountable as well as encouraging one another. We are going to make this lifestyle change together and will succeed. I cannot wait until we are going on runs together as a couple. It’s going to be awesome.

Made to Crave—Chapter 7 “I’m Not Defined by the Numbers”

2011-06-04T15:51:00.002-05:00

When I feel like I don’t measure up, I either kick into withdrawal mode or “I have to prove myself” mode.
If I could clearly hear God’s words to me throughout the day, I hope I would hear things like: “You are worth this Rose. You are worth the pain and struggle that you are going through to get your body and mind healthy again. You are worth every minute of time you spend. No matter what though, I love you. You’re not alone in this journey. I am with you every step of the way, just remember to lean on me.” As far as food and weight issues are concerned, it would be nice if I could hear him say, “Put down that soda and grab your water. You don’t need that chocolate. How about some fruit? It’s okay that you are stressed, but why don’t we have a talk instead of you reaching for that junk?”
I know that I have everything I need from God in order to overcome my struggles with food. I know that with all my heart. But I don’t always believe it. I’m still learning to completely and totally depend on Him during even my biggest struggles. If I could completely embrace this truth, I know that my relationship with food would not be the struggle it is every day. And little by little, I know that changes will be made and I will win this battle.
How do the numbers on the scale impact my self-worth? In all honesty, even though I tell myself it’s not a big deal, I am devastated when the scale doesn’t move in the direction I am working for. It breaks my heart to work so hard for something and not experience the results. Often times I forget that regardless of the scale, as long as I am really committing to the changes I am making, I will eventually be at a healthy weight. It’s not going to happen overnight. I cannot yet make the statement, “I am a Jesus girl who can step on the scale and see the number as an indication of how much by body weighs and not as an indication of my worth.” I know that my perspective is changing daily.
Self-defeating thoughts or hurtful comments from others that routinely run through my mind when it comes to food and my weight: This is a very personal and difficult question for me to answer. Mainly because although I have a lot of support around me, some of those same people are also enablers or constantly trying to get me to take a break in one area or another regarding this journey. Some don't accept that I have finally decided to completely give this journey over to God. I know that when I turn to Him, He's going to lift me up and help me do what may seem to be the impossible.

I've made it all week without a single ounce of caffeine. I've drank water, caffeine free unsweetened tea and a little diet lemonade. I've survived mostly on water. I'm proud of myself, but each day, I have had to actually pray to God to help me grab a bottle of water or actually help me walk to the fridge and get a glass of water instead heading out to get a soda. The one thing I learned is to constantly have a bottle of water next to me. First thing in the morning I fill up a bottle of water and start drinking. Anytime I head to the kitchen, I take that bottle with me and refill it. #1 it's too hot to drink anything but water, and #2 water is going to help me with my progress. And it's going to help me stay hydrated.

But I digress, these same people who encourage me some days, try and get me to take a break, cheat, not worry about it on other days when it is convenient for them. And at this very point in my life, it's not okay. I'm finally sticking up for myself. I'm NOT going to go to a Happy Hour right now. I don't need it. I probably won't do it once I've lost the weight. I don't like the way alcohol makes me feel. I choose to go to certain places at lunch during the week because I have my children with me. With a 5 and a 7 year old, it is not going to be any fun or enjoyable for me to go hang out at a restaurant. They are going to whine and complain about having to sit still, and I'm going to be miserable because I'm worried about how my kids are behaving. I make these choices because I know they are what's best for me right now. In a few years, my kids may be able to just chill out at a restaurant and not drive me and everyone around me crazy. But right now, they aren't. And I want to enjoy my time with whomever I am spending it and so I choose to take them to a kid friendly place. I may wise choices when eating out. Probably better when it's somewhere where I have to order my food and take it back to the table with me. And right now, it’s even better if I just stay home and cook my meals!

When it comes down to it, now that I want this. And want to turn to my God to help me achieve this huge goal in my life, I’m going to have to make sacrifices and block out things that make me uncomfortable. I’m also going to have to face the discomfort. I can’t face it alone, but with the Lord’s help, I will certainly be able to make it through.

Made to Crave—Chapter 6 “Growing Closer to God”

2011-06-03T14:40:00.001-05:00

I know for a face that we grow closer to God when we deny ourselves something permissible but not beneficial. Last year, I fasted for the first time in my life. It was for 72 hours. It was the first several days of Lent. I had never done anything so extreme before, but now I am thankful that I did because the spiritual growth I experienced over the time period in which I fasted was amazing. Instead of food, I turned to the Lord. Whenever I was hungry, I turned to the Lord. There were some times when I was physically experiencing hunger pains, I cried out in agony to the Lord. Sometimes I would sit down with my bible and just pray that it take my mind off of the food that I wanted so badly. It was not easy, but after the 72 hours, I felt like a completely different person. I had relied on the Lord’s strength, not my own, to get me through a few difficult days. Looking back over this fast, I know that if I would turn to the Lord whenever I feel desperate for something to eat that is not good for me, I can totally not eat it. Denying myself chocolate or ice cream or sodas is something that would not be the easiest thing for me since I have turned to it during my struggles with emotional eating. If I could just turn to the Lord when I have those emotional meltdowns instead, I’m sure that my entire self would reap the benefits. Of course, this is easier said than done. I’m really going to work on it this week. My kids were stressing me out and instead of praying for a little patience a whole lot of peace, I went straight for a soda. Not my best moment.
Self-control – an area in my life where I experience self-control? It’s 7:30 in the morning so that may be the reason I cannot think of one. I’m so tired and exhausted from a fun filled evening with friends. I have really good self-control regarding finances, when I want to have it. And I have great self-control with time management. With regards to eating, I do really well with portion control and am not one to over eat, but I fully believe that no matter the control one has over portions, if you are eating junk, you’re not doing anything good for your body. Regarding food and growing in self-control, I know very well that I have to plan out my meals – every day, each week, all month long. This way I am in control of what I eat, when I eat it and where. Planning leaves little room for change and makes it easier for me to say no to going out for dinner or grabbing something on the go. I know that it’s the baby steps I need to get back to. Also journaling everything eat. And lately, I have been writing anything I put in my mouth down. Which isn’t always easy, but it gets the job done.
I don’t know if I’ve ever experienced the Holy Spirit nudging me in connection with food choices. Sometimes I have that voice in the back of my head telling me that I could choose something healthier. I’m guess that was the Holy Spirit. In time, I need to pay attention and have a two way conversation with the Lord and actually listen for his response.
I’m sure that food has consumed my thoughts at time more than it should causing me to miss opportunities to receive spiritual nourishment. As I continue to walk along this new journey of turning myself toward Him in times of what I feel are desperation, I know that the Lord will bless my life. He forgives me for the times I’ve turned to food instead of Him. And He wants to change me. And I want to be changed. Change my heart of oh God. Make it ever true. Change my heart oh, I want to be like you. You are the potter, I am the clay. Mold me and make me this is what I pray. Change my heart oh God. Make it every true. Change my heart oh God. I want to be like you.
I am convinced that I am somewhere between spiritually well fed and spiritually malnourished. I have never intentionally turned to food over God. I don’t think I’ve ever really put the two together. I know that the Bible says, "Faith comes by hearing the Word of God." (Romans 10:17) Just as you need physical food for your body, you need spiritual FOOD for your faith to grow. Yet I’ve never thought that I might turn to food in times where I should be turning to God.
There are certain foods that are very difficult for me to walk away from. And this is a clue that I am being ruled by food on some level. I’m doing my best to make healthier choices instead of eating junk. Like I’ve said before, chocolate is my big issue. And sweets. I’m trying to turn to fruit instead of the sugary treats that have no health benefits. Coca-cola is another one. We don’t have it in our home. I don’t allow it because I would drink it all day. I’m going to do my best to keep water with me at all times and in the moment I feel my weakest, I’m going to drink some water. If I continue to make these choices and then turn to the Lord in my moments of weakness, I know that I can beat this battle. It’s no longer about just my physical self. It’s time to put on my spiritual warfare and turn to the Lord to help me win the battle of the bulge.

Made to Crave–Chapter 5 “Made for More”

2011-05-25T14:16:00.001-05:00

1. “I was made for more” is a spiritual truth that unlocks great power for Christians.” In light of my past failures and current struggles with food, this truth is incredibly empowering. It really is a reminder that I was not made to sit on the couch, watch TV, and eat junk. I was not made to constantly worry about everyone else. I was made in his glory, to share his love with others and be a reflection of that love in my day to day life. I’ve been so caught up in loving others that I have forgotten to love myself. Now don’t get me wrong, I am a Jesus loving gal. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to share that love with others. Even my friends who choose to not believe in Him as their Savior. Even those who question His love. I still love them. That love never changes. And I still pray for them daily. My prayer is that they will experience His love the way I experience it. But I cannot always concentrate on everyone else. I have to take time to love myself as He loves me. How fair is it to beat myself up every day because I didn’t exercise or I forgot to track my points or I ate too many pieces of chocolate? Just like Christ wants us to love others and accept them where they are at in their lives, he wants me to love myself. I was created in his image and for his glory. I just have to keep reminding myself of it.

When I introduce myself to someone I don’t know, I usually say, “Hi, I’m Rose.. . .” and then proceed to define myself depending on who I’m with or what I’m involved in - “I’m Cayden’s mom. I’m Stephen’s wife. I’m the Music teacher at Preschool.” Sometimes I just say, “Hi, I’m Rose,” and leave it at that. Apparently, most of the time I feel like I need to identify myself with my circumstances. Of course, I don’t ever say, “Hi, I’m Rose, the girl who needs to lose 50 lbs. and is tired of being so unhappy with my body.” But sometimes, that’s exactly who I believe I am.

Defining myself based on past or current circumstances: Rose, the one constantly compared to her sister while growing up. Rose, the smart one. Rose, the girl who can’t do anything fun because she believes in God. <—All my identity growing up. Now –> Rose, the girl who lost the weight before but can’t seem to today.

A new identity – I don’t have to be that girl anymore. I am set free!

Rose, the forgiven child of God. (Romans 3:24)
Rose, the set-free child of God. (Romans 8:1-2)
Rose, the accepted child of God. (1 Corinthians 1:2)
Rose, the holy child of God. (1 Corinthians 1:30)
Rose, the made-new child of God. (2 Corinthians 5:17)
Rose, the loved child of God. (Ephesians 1:4)
Rose, the close child of God. (Ephesians 2:13)
Rose, the confident child of God. (Ephesians 3:12)
Rose, the victorious child of God. (Romans 8:37)

5. Ephesians 1:17-20

Be persistent: “I keep asking.” I have absolutely no reservations about asking God for wisdom and power each day to help me through this new journey. Persistent prayer will be a constant reminder of how much I really do need to rely on Him. I cannot do this alone.
Embrace a true identity: “Glorious Father.” Untruths about my identity I have struggled with – I can’t do this alone. I will always be overweight. I’m not supposed to be the thin one. If I can embrace the truth of my identity as a child of God – really embrace it – I know that my life will change completely. My heavenly father loves me and want me to be a fit and healthy person both physically as well as spiritually. With the help of the Holy Spirit, I this life is just waiting for me.
Find deeper reason: “So that you know him better.” The Lord will use my journey towards healthy eating as a way I get to know Him better because my strength will rely on Him. In times of weakness, he will make me strong. And the Holy Spirit will help me to live my life according to the fruit of the spirit – especially in regards to self control.
Discover s hope and power like no other: “That the eyes of your heart might be enlightened.” In the past I have felt that everything depended on me – my willpower and determination – completely on me. As I’ve read this book, I’ve realized that the power isn’t going to come from within me. It will come as I rely on the Lord – the same power that raised Jesus from the dead will help me through this. I just have to be still and trust. It won’t always be easy, but as I go through this journey, I know that my relationship with the Lord will strengthen and grow as my waistline gets smaller!

Made to Crave–Chapter 4 “Friends Don’t Let Friends Eat before Thinking”

2011-05-20T13:11:00.001-05:00

When a friend experiences success with healthy food choices and losing weight, I usually feel encouraged and inspired by her example. I guess somewhere deep down I feel a tad envious, but for the most part I am super excited for her! And I don’t think I’m envious as in jealous, if I do have those feelings. I’m pretty sure I’m angry at myself for not sticking with something and getting the same results. I am always super happy and encouraged by others doing well. It helps me to remember that this is real life, and every day people are successful at losing weight and eating healthy. It’s a lifestyle change that is exactly that, a LIFESTYLE change. Not some diet that I can follow 1/2 the time and the other 1/2 expect to get the same results. It’s about changing within, not just changing my body.
Complete this sentence “I do/do not want to invite a friend to help me on my journey to healthy eating because two are always better than one when it comes to this type of situation. It’s important to have someone to rely on and call on when frustrated. It’s always important to have someone to share joys and success!
I have always thought that accountability was crucial to my weight loss success. I’ve always had friends to lean on when I would hit my lowest point emotionally. Of course, those people have changed due to circumstances, relationships, etc. It’s really hard to have an accountability buddy who although she’s been your best friend since high school, she’s already gone down this road and is still at a healthy and ideal weight. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love the support she gives me. It’s me that feels like she doesn’t understand where I’m at anymore. And in all honesty, she doesn’t, because she’s not right there with me. But I still count on her. I still love her and accept her support. And I know it’s completely genuine. As far as making accountability part of my eating plan, I love the fact that at the end of the week, once I’ve weighed in, I can contact C, my cousin who I have decided lives way to far away from me, and just cry out to her in anguish because I really struggled or in celebration because I’m finally understanding. And the same goes with her. If she’s had a bad week, it’s much easier for me to say, “Ok, what did you do differently this week? Where can you make changes?” And the realization come from exactly that – (hypothetically) eating out 4 days of the week and not exercising at all. Having 2 drinks at happy hour. Not drinking any water throughout the week. These choices will cause the scale to fluctuate. But since this journey began – and I know the end result is to be a fit and healthy person – right now it’s a spiritual journey – and I have to have peace regardless of what the scale says. And thankfully, I have His grace, because the small gain on the scale, isn’t going to be a huge deal in the long run – as long as I remember to continue to turn to him for strength.
I have accountability buddies, weight loss buddies, and friends. Their support is what keeps me from just giving up all together. There are some who are more supportive. Others who think they are supportive, but they really aren’t, and then even others who are walking right along with me, who come to me when they need encouragement and I know I can continue to come to them as well. I’m very blessed. What kind of person do I want to be accountable to? It needs to be someone who will be a consistent rock in my life. On my good days or bad days, not just someone who want to build me up and say, “Who cares what the scale did this week? You haven’t really been following the program all that well.” I need someone (and have someone) who will say, “Okay, so you gained some this week. Look back at your journal over the week. What did you do differently? Did you eat out more? What did you eat when you ate out? Were you making good choices? How about exercise? Did you find time for that?” That’s the kind of person I need. And someone to remember me that I’m not in it alone at all. And in fact, I cannot do this without Christ. He’s my rock, my salvation, and will carry me in times when I don’t think I can go any further (like during Sunday’s 5K). I just have to have open communication lines with Him. I can’t try and block him out.

Made to Crave–Day 3 “Getting a Plan”

2011-05-20T11:22:00.001-05:00

Okay for the record, I started reading this book on Tuesday. That was the only day that Stephen was actually off work (for Cayden’s PreK Graduation) and able to run to the store to pick it up for me. In a week, I have ready a ton of chapters. There may be double posts from me because I am lending the book to a friend once I’m through, but I want to get done with the reflection questions as well before I give it to her. Of course, my blog may seem a little crazy as I reflect since I’m not copying the questions (pretty sure that’s not allowed, even if I site the source), but all in all, I think everyone will get the gist of what’s going on. And I’m trying to write in complete sentences reflecting the question like we all learned in school back in the day.

Before I reflect on chapter three, I wanted to share that on Monday I started tracking my food again. On Tuesday I started reading the book. And from that day forward I have really paid attention to what I’m putting in my mouth – liquid or solid – and haven’t had a soda all week. I’m drinking tea, water, and lattes (yes, lattes, but not every day, and it’s the only way I’ll drink coffee, which does give me a couple milk servings). I’m also stopping to think and/or pray whenever I get a craving. I haven’t been able to stop eating chocolate completely, but I’m not gorging on it. In fact, I’ve had a couple chocolate covered almonds in the past few days and that craving seems to subside. And that is only if I don’t stop to say a prayer. When I’ve prayed for some self control, the Lord has always just given me something else to worry about or do instead of eating crap. I have not, however, had a soda at all this week

And so this week, although I had been up from my lowest weight (this time around), I have managed to bring it back down to where I was when I got the tattoo (which is now a total of 16 lbs.). And I re-lost 2.9 lbs. I’m ready for the number to be lower, but I’m not freaking out about it. I’m not stressing and freaking out about it anymore. There’s no reason to allow satan to ruin my progress and my plan.

And that brings me to the reflection questions for Chapter 3.

When I hear the word plan, I immediately think of a list, a calendar, or a chart. I’m not really a planner. I’m learning to be one, but when I hear the word plan, I don’t really get all excited and start to create this amazing outline of things to do to get it done. I’m not really a go with the flow sort of gal, but having a fine tuned plan isn’t something I dig much either.
There are areas in my life where planning does work well for me. It helps me to plan out our weekly meals. When I don’t, we tend to overeat or eat all the bad stuff. It also helps to have a calendar to help me plan for the week. Plans regarding my particular eating habits are exactly what I need to help me get through each day.
Is there a relationship between food and secrets? For me, not really. I don’t really hide my eating habits. Everyone knows that I’m addicting to Coke and Chocolate. One day I hope to say I’m addicted to carrots and celery, but that’s doubtful. As long as I recognize the areas that I need help, I think that I am going to do well.
I know what eating plan works for me. I’ve done Weight Watchers in the past and had amazing success. Of course, I was 100% committed to following the plan to my benefit. I’m going to continue to follow the WW plan and really stay on top of things. I know it won’t always be easy, but I do know it will be worth it.
I am 100% certain that if I continue to follow the WW program, and I mean really and truly follow the program, including exercise, I will be successful. I know it won’t happen right away. I won’t be at a healthy weight immediately, but I will get there in God’s time.

Made to Crave–Day 2 “Replacing My Cravings”

2011-05-19T18:34:00.000-05:00

1. Vicious cycles. In the past, I have to admit that I used to follow the WW program, weigh in, have a loss, follow the WW program, weigh in have a loss, kind of follow the WW program, weigh in, have a gain, not follow the WW program, weigh in, have a gain, follow the WW program, weigh in, have a loss, etc, etc. Or I would weigh myself every day. One day I’d have a loss, so I’d go ahead and have that extra cookie. Weigh the next day and have gained. Be really strict. Weigh the next day, lose. Stray a little. Repeat, repeat, repeat. And I’d get frustrated with myself. I wouldn’t understand. I just would get angry. Like I’ve mentioned before, I have mastered the art of maintaining. Unfortunately, it’s at the wrong weight. And obviously, I wasn’t 100% committed. I didn’t have the I WANT to. I just had the I don’t want to be here anymore. I certainly don’t fall into those practices anymore. I know how badly they make me feel. Now, I really get into an exercise routine and do really well. But then I get sick, or someone gets sick, or I get busy. There’s no excuse for my excuses. I do have to say that I’m trying. The biggest cycle I get into is not going to the grocery store enough so therefore we don’t have any food and instead of going to the grocery store, we eat out. That really has to stop. When I cook at home, I eat better, I feel better, I live better. I need to get over the convenience of fast food – or eating out. I just need to plan better, get more organized, and learn to freeze meals!
What reasons motivate me to eat healthier? Well, for one, I really want to be healthy. I want to be happy. And I want to be a role model to my children. But the truth in the matter? I’ve decided it’s vanity. I really want to know that I am at a healthy weight and look good. Tough words to type. But it’s true. I’ve been that fit and healthy person who has a kid and still wears a size 6. I’ve been that mom. How do I respond to the statement, “I had to see the purpose of my struggle as something more than wearing smaller sizes and getting compliments from others….It had to be about something more than just me” ? Well, it certainly makes me think. And it makes me realize that I really do need to rethink my wanting to lose weight. It’s not just about me. It can’t be.
In the past few weeks have I turned to food for any of these reasons? Comfort – yes, Reward – yes, Joy – no, Stress – yes, Sadness – yes, Happiness – no. If I had relied on God instead of turning to food, I know that I’d probably have more peace in my life. And I’d certainly weigh less
I think it is a spectacular idea to use my cravings to prompt me to pray. Never once have I been let down by praying to the Lord. No matter what the circumstance, I always feel better after I pray.
I would really like my quick approaches to work when it comes to weight loss, but I know deep in my heart, and because I’ve been there, that slow and steady is the way to go. This is the beginning of dismantling my “tower of impossibility” one craving at a time. Time to turn away from food and get on my knees.

Made to Crave–Day 1 “What’s Really Going On Here?”

2011-05-19T17:58:00.000-05:00

Personal Reflections

1. One weight loss company (HMMM, I wonder what company that could be. This book is a little dated. LOL Since they don’t use the Hungry anymore) personifies craving as a little orange monster that chases us around, tempting us to eat unhealthy foods. Take a moment to reflect on your own experience of craving, recently and over time.

My craving isn’t a little orange monster. I think my craving is a huge can of Coca-Cola and a huge Hershey’s Kiss. You know, like in the commercials? I remember a commercial of a can of something that used to run around. I cannot even remember what the commercial was for. I think it was recycling or not littering, but regardless, that’s what I see whenever I get a craving for a Coke. As for Chocolate, a human size Hershey Kiss, pretty much doing the same thing the Coke does. Miming. Playing Charades with me. Taunting me. It runs around and hides behind trees and things, peeking around corners, sneaking around, just trying to get me to give in.
If I could talk to my craving, what would the conversation sound like? Well, I don’t think that the craving would every say anything. It would just sneak around and say “Come here” with it’s little finger. If I could ask it questions, they would be, “Why is it so hard for me to say no?” “How is it that I can go for days, if not weeks without touching you, but then once I have a taste, I just can’t seem to stop?” I’ve never thought of it as a drug before since I’ve never used drugs, but I am nearly convinced that the feeling I get when I have a taste of Coke or Chocolate is the same feeling someone who is addicted to crack/or whatever gets when they just have a “taste.” My entire body starts to tingle. And the tingle feels good. And I want more.

2. & 3. I do find myself agreeing with the idea that “God made us to crave.” In my past, my cravings have been teaching children – whether they be teenagers or three year olds. And not just teach them, but teach them about the love of Jesus. I remember being so passionate when I taught religion to my 5th grade students. I remember being led to tears when leading youth. And still today, I know how much doing so through song or music makes me tingle all over just like the feeling I get when I have a Coke or eat a piece of Chocolate. I had never thought of that before. Or put the two together. Whenever I share the love of Jesus with people (children in specific), my heart is full of joy. And when I hear children then telling others about how much Jesus loves them (even three year olds), it makes my heart overflow. Of course, my heart doesn’t overflow with joy when I have a Coke or eat a piece of Chocolate. It just leaves me with wanting more. I am never satisfied completely.

4. The fourth reflection questions for this chapter are very, very personal. I feel I can share, but I’m certainly not an open book for all to read. But I’ll at least share the gist of the questions with you.The Bible describes three ways satan tries to lure us away from loving God: cravings, lust of the eyes, and boasting (1 John 2:15-16). How over the past 24 hours or few days have you been tempted in similar ways (as Eve and Jesus)? Of these temptations, which is most difficult to resist? Which is easiest? And why?

5. I have used Scripture before to defeat temptations. I used it all through high school. I guarded my heart and mind with the Word and was able to resist many things. I have never thought to use it to address my unhealthy eating patterns, but I do think it would work. The concept is a lot like fasting. When you fast, you are supposed to take the time you would use to do whatever you are fasting from and turn to the Lord. Turning to the Lord instead of giving in to my craving is probably one of the most brilliant ideas out there.

Journey to Goal–Week ???

2011-05-18T17:27:00.001-05:00

Well, I fell off the wagon. I don’t know if I'd call it a wagon, per say, but I certainly did stop tracking my points, exercising regularly and eating better. I didn’t however, stop going to my WW meetings. And the scale has gone up and down and up and down, well you get the picture. It hasn’t got up by much. It hasn’t gone down by much. I’ve pretty much mastered the art of maintaining, again. Which isn’t a bad thing, except my goal is to lose the weight, right? At least I know that when I do lose the weight, I will be able to keep it off.

It all started with a little tattoo. It’s on my ankle/foot. It signifies my losing 15 lbs. At least I’m still down 15 lbs. After I got the tattoo, we had Easter and then a boy’s birthday, and the Mother’s Day, and then….the excuses could go on and on. For a week and a half, I actually did Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred, and by the end of the the 1st week, I felt stronger, thinner, and empowered. But then, I started to feel bad, and I mean bad. My entire body hurt. My head hurt. If anyone touched me, I felt it 1,000 times. I went to the doctor. I had strep. STREP! I know I’m a preschool teacher and when little ones in my classroom have strep, it’s possible that I will get it, but I don’t think I’ve had strep since Hannah was born. Since before, really. But I had it, and it brought me down. I was in bed for days. And I still haven’t gotten the strength to work out again. I’m hoping by this weekend. Because I am bound and determined to do that 30 Day Shred Video for 30 days. I’m actually excited about it.

But my little illness reminded me of how much food (chocolate and coca-cola to be specific) are still my source of comfort. I haven’t gotten over that hump yet. And it’s so frustrating. I had gone a significant amount of time without a coke, but the moment I get sick, I need one. I physically ache for one. I crave one. And the chocolate? Well, doesn’t chocolate make everyone feel better? And since we still have leftover chocolate from Easter, I just couldn’t not eat it, right? (Go ahead, roll your eyes). But that’s me.

This entire scenario got me talking to my fabulous cousin, Cara, who has been struggling with her own weight loss journey. Except, she’s not struggling anymore. She’s a ROCKSTAR, and I couldn’t be more proud of her. In our conversations, she recommended a book she’s been reading to me. And that got me thinking, and wanting to read it. I’ve been doing some light frivolous reading of The Vampire Diaries. As suspenseful as they are (which is hard for me to ready) they are really proving to me that I need to be reading. In a week I’ve read two and a half of them. My brain CRAVES it. And it really is exercise, right? I’ve also been reading on my Kindle App another book, It Happens Every Spring by Gary Chapman and Catherine Palmer (which is free at the moment on Amazon – for the kindle). Talk about completely different from The Vampire Diaries. But I am enjoying it as well. And it makes for waiting things a bit easier – when I can pull up the app and just read.

Anyway, Cara recommended a book to me – Made to Crave. I had Stephen pick it up for me yesterday, and let me tell you, it’s amazing. I’m already starting to look at things differently.

Each chapter has reflection questions, and I’ve decided to keep track of them on my blog instead of writing them down in a journal. I don’t have a journal – I’ve never kept one. But now I see my blog as a journal (be it public) and I think it’s a good place to start.

The premise of the blog will be the same. I’m journeying to goal. But the blog titles will be different – Made to Crave Week 1, etc.

I’m excited to begin this journey and change my life (both physically and spiritually)!

Journey to Goal – Weeks 9 & 10

2011-04-09T12:05:00.001-05:00

Pardon me for not blogging last week. I woke up early Saturday morning with the stomach bug from you know where and I wasn’t able to do much of anything but lie in bed or puke. Sorry for all the details, but I don’t think I’ve been that sick since I was #1 pregnant or #2 a kid. Needless to say, I’m not pregnant – that’s been verified by a doctor, and now I’m still recovering from that super bug. It’s been day 8, and I am still not eating a proper diet. The BRAT diet and I have become fast friends, and I’m really getting tired of eating bananas and white bread.

I did not make my weigh in last week, but I did get on the scale at the doctor’s office on my weigh in day and was down 2.8 lbs and at my 1st Weight Watchers starting weight. I hit a goal, even being as sick as I was. This week, I made myself got to my meeting this morning even though I haven’t followed program in a week due to this little bug I seen to have. I’m not getting sick anymore, but I still can’t eat anything but bananas, crackers, and toast. When I do, I get very nauseated, and life gets interesting, to say the least. The meeting was awesome. This week I lost another 1.2 lbs so my total weight loss is 16.2 lbs. I’m so close to MY 10% it’s crazy. And then only a few more lbs until my Weight Watchers 10% (remember, I went back to Weight Watchers after I had lost 3 lbs on my own. Regardless, at some point this next week, I am headed out to get the first three daisies of my tattoo.

Hoping that my stomach will cooperate so I can get back on following the good heath guidelines. I’m very excited about the Weight Watchers Walk It Challenge. I will be signing up on pay day to participate in this event and making fitness a priority as well as eating healthily. I hope you’ll join, too!

Journey to Goal – Week 8

2011-03-27T13:09:00.001-05:00

At the meeting this week, we got our little “Weight Watchers Weekly” Pamphlet. On the back on these are ideas, challenges, tips for us to use throughout the week. This week we are supposed to find a photo of ourselves at a weight we loved and think back. This isn’t hard for me to do at all. I can vividly remember being at a fit and healthy weight back in 2005 because becoming pregnant with Cayden. And I’m so ready to be there again.

I’m supposed to reflect on what I was doing, how I was eating, my activity, and lessons learned from experience.

I was faithfully following the WW Program at the time.
I was eating well.
I was swimming nearly every day (so yes, I was more active)
Lessons learned? Below we will explore some of those lessons, but it all comes back to Weight Watchers Works (I’ve been saying it for years).

It’s been 8 weeks since I started attending Weight Watchers meetings again. In 8 weeks I have been really inconsistent in the weight loss area. I lose a few, gain a few, lose a few, gain a few. I’m praying that the cycle has ended for me. This week I weighed in and lost 1 of the 2.2 lbs I gained last week. In 8 weeks, I’ve lost 4 lbs. That’s not very impressive, is it? But it shows me that when I follow the program, I lose weight. When I pretend to follow the program, I don’t lose weight and possibly gain. It’s that easy.

The meeting this week was really good. There was a member there who was struggling with her journey download. She has hit a point in her journey where she is now the lightest she’s been in her adult life and she’s afraid of the next phase. And she’s been at .5 – 1 lb from her first 10% goal for a few weeks now.

What does that tell me? It tells me that she hasn’t been on program for the past few weeks. And it reminds me that I have not been following the program as I should. I am so known for following program, having a good loss, pretending to follow, gaining, following program, having a loss, etc. But this week, I’ve realized that in order for my weight loss to be consistent and real, I have to follow the program. I can’t pretend I’m following the program and expect results.

The past week wasn’t difficult by any means. In fact, I planned out my week in writing, planned out our meals, and actually stuck to it. Two days were a little off, but only because #1 – Hannah got her cast off on a day that I worked so so getting dinner ready was nearly impossible. We ordered pizza on that day. And #2 was a day we ate leftovers. I stayed within my Points Plus target, and saw a nice loss on Saturday. I cannot wait to do it again this week.

My menu is as follows for the week. And this time I remembered to plan for things like meetings, etc. I’m not usually a calendar, planning person. But seeing how much easier it made life has made me a believer. I’m sticking with Hungry Girl meals this week and one from Green Lite Bites.

Sunday Meal: Leftovers – Taco Meatloaf

Monday: Hungry Girl’s Chicken la Fea w/ Green Beans (2nd Recipe on the Page)

Tuesday: GLB’s Pasta Pumpkin, Sausage & Spinach (Didn’t get a change to make this last week)

Wednesday: Hungry Girl’s Not-Your-Mom’s Tater Tot Casserole (I made add some cheese to this in some way)

Thursday: Work all Day, Hannah has piano, I have a PTA Board Meeting, and Cayden’s Pre-K Performance. We will be eating out today.

Friday: Hungry Girl’s Loaded Hot Dog Casserole – I’m not too thrilled about this one, but it’s worth a shot and I know the kids will eat it.

Saturday: Weigh In Day :) Joslin’s Art Auction Spaghetti Dinner

So there you have it! I have a feeling that all this planning is what is going to make me stick to THE Plan. I know I can do it. And I’m happy to be here for anyone who needs meal ideas and a little inspiration :)

It’s also time for me to step up my activity level, even if it is just going for a brisk walk in the evenings for 30 minutes. My goal this week is to do it at least 3 times this week (although I’d love for more).

I am thankful for those in my life who are actively pushing me to continue on my journey. I have several friends and family members who are absolutely amazing. Although I know I could do this on my own, it’s so much easier with those who love me.

Journey to Goal – Week 7 – Weekly Dinner Menu

2011-03-21T10:11:00.001-05:00

Spring Break is over, and so is my week of eating poorly - heavy on the junk. I just couldn’t get focused this week and it totally showed on the scale with a gain of 2.2. But I’m not going to let that define me. In fact, it has me even more determined to make it up this week on the scale. But although I knew I was going to have a gain, I made myself face the scale at my weekly weigh in (although I totally slept through the meeting and got there late).

I’m 3.6 lbs from a 15 lb weight loss and I am bound and determine to hit it by the end of next week. I’d like to say this week, but I don’t want to disappoint myself if I don’t hit it. But I’d really like to be down another 8 lbs by Easter. That gives me a little over a month – if I lose consistently and actually stick to the program, I could find myself 20 lbs. lighter (over all) by Easter!!

Thankful for my girl, M who has the same goal as me. We want to treat ourselves to new outfits by the end of April. It’s totally doable. Now it’s just time to hold one another accountable. Glad she has my back! Excited about keeping in touch with cousin C as she begins her journey to goal. I’m glad she knows she can call/text at anytime. I just want to be an encouragement to others. That is what keeps me on track!

I bought an awesome weekly fill in the blank calendar by Mead. Filled it out for the week, and am fairly certain that life may actually be easier now that it’s all out on paper. I have my 1st photo shoot of the Spring this Saturday, and a week full of new “chores” for the kids to try out. Along with a new rewards system. Should be a great week!!

My breakfast and lunches are pretty much the same all week – Weight Watcher Smoothie with 1 cup of milk and a banana and then a Lean Cuisine or Smart Ones.

Dinners look good for the week:

Monday - Hungry Girl’s Kickin’ Chicken Pot Pie

Tuesday – Hungry Girl’s Fiber-ific Nacho-rific Stuff Chicken (I use all bran instead of Fiber One and omit Taco Sauce <—especially because I don’t know exactly what that means)

Wednesday – Hungry Girl’s Crazy Good Taco Meatloaf <-- This is LOADED with veggies

Thursday – The Simplest Slow Cooker Beef Ever (with Quinoa Noodles and a Veggie)

Friday - Pasta with Pumpkin Sausage and Spinach

So there’s my menu. Not sure if I can post the HG recipes so I’m not. But I have her first book, although I’m about to send it off to C because I believe she’ll get more use out of it than I am.

Have a great week!

ABC’s of Me

2011-03-16T12:18:00.001-05:00

Joining the blog world and completing this meme just for fun. On a gloomy overcast day with a pounding headache and still a couple loads of laundry left, I needed something to make me smile.

ABC’s of me

A: Age: 33

B: Bed size: Queen

C. Chore you hate: Dishes and Putting away laundry

D. Dogs: Three – Pokey, Buster, Sesi

E. Essential start to your day: Breakfast

F. Favorite color: Purple and Yellow

G. Gold or silver: Silver

H: Height: 5’4”

I: Instruments that you can play: Guitar, Piano, Clarinet

J: Job title: Mom, Preschool Teacher

K: Kids: Hannah (7) and Cayden (4)

L: Live: Austin, Texas

M: Mom’s name: Eileen

N: Nicknames: Rosie, Ro, Sweetie

O: Overnight hospital stays: Both Kiddos, Gall Bladder Surgery in 1997

P: Pet peeve: Laundry soap drips on the washer

Q: Quote from a movie: “Actually, I've always had a rather extensive vocabulary, not to mention a phenomenal grasp of grammar and a superlative command of syntax. I simply chose not to employ them.” Uh-Huh, little Rascals

R: Righty or lefty: Right handed

S: Sibling: Little Sister, Heather

T: Time you wake up: Between 6:15 and 6:45 am

U: Underwear: Yes ?? Bikini ??

V: Vegetables you dislike: I don’t think I dislike any vegetable that I can think of

W: What makes you run late: Not getting up early enough

X: X-rays: I’ve had many from foot to teeth

Y: Yummy food you make: Chicken and Dumplings

Z: Zoo favorite animal: Elephants

Too Much Chocolate

2011-03-15T18:34:00.001-05:00

Never fails, I take the kids to the movies and I eat 500 calories in chocolate (not sure that’s quite accurate, but it was so much that all I want to eat for the rest of the day is fruit and veggies). There was peanut butter involved as well – so at least there was some protein, right?

I’m still on the try 10 new foods kick. I was supposed to do it in a week, but it didn’t happen. I think I got 3 of the 10 I wanted to try. Tonight I made Butternut Squash Fries. So yummy. I didn’t use as much cooking spray as it says to use, so I’m calling it 0 points instead of 1. And I ate the entire batch all by myself. Of course, due to my lovely chocolate indulgence, all I have available left to eat is fruits and veggies.

Tomorrow I am making Pork Cutlets and Roasted Beets for dinner. So thankful for GreenLiteBites.

I’m done with my weekly points and it’s only Tuesday. My goal for the remainder of the week is to actually track everything I put in my mouth. I’ve really been slacking and I know that the scale will reflect that if it continues.

Made it through the entire week without a soda! Yay!!!

Journey to Goal – Week 6

2011-03-12T09:44:00.001-06:00

This week was a good week for me, personally – in more depth, spiritually. The Lenten Season started this week and although as a child, I dreaded the 6 weeks before celebrating Easter, now I long for it all year. I love this time of year – the time for reflection and remembrance of the amazing sacrifice He made for us all. Not that I don’t remember it all year long, but seeing others around me reflect and doing it together is just uplifting to me.

This week my weight stayed the same. Although I’m a little bummed, I know why I stayed the same and am quite frankly, shocked, that I didn’t gain any weight this week. I ate horribly. And now it is out there for all to see – including my Weight Watchers Leader. Shame on me!

But that’s okay, about midweek I realized that I was sabotaging all I’m working for and all I am struggling to accomplish. Early in the week, I was having a “woe is me” moment, and I let it really get to me – emotionally – which leads to me making poor eating choices.

But a sweet friend, Modesty, swooped in and helped me see that my life isn’t about feeling sorry for myself. I’m not going into the details, but it involves something I have been trying to change for years and have finally come to the realization that it’s never going to change and it’s not worth my time and energy anymore. God knows the situation and if it is His will, maybe one day it will be different. But He certainly doesn’t want me living my life centered around it and the negativity it brings me. He wants to be the center of my life. So he sent me an amazing friend who came in and helped me schedule a few days worth of meals (until payday to which we will attempt a week at a time) and show me that I am worth it and there are those around me who think it!

But I digress. I got my week turned around and what could have been a gain, turned into a maintain, and I know I’ll lose next week! But this week, I am determined to not focus on the scale and celebrate the non scale victories in my life:

It’s Lent – and for Lent I’m giving up two things – sodas and gossip. I’ve gone three days without a soda (and three days without gossip). That’s a big deal for me. I am addicted to Coca-Cola. I pray in 40 days, it will be out of my life.
It’s Lent – and Stephen has decided to give up fried foods for Lent. This means that our family will not be eating out or eating as poorly as we have in the past. And I’m thankful because Stephen is on board to try anything and making a lifestyle change himself.
I tried three new foods this week. I still have several more, but I’m not giving up. I will get those 10 in!
I have officially retried my favorite pair of denim capris and am wearing the smaller size pair all the time!! Maybe they will become my favorites!!
My kids have begun to choose things like apples and bananas for snack over chips, crackers, and granola bars. This means that I must be making the right choices – because children mimic their parents.

I began a new Bible Study this week – Breaking Free. I am doing it on my own, but I’m still spending some time in prayer and study each day. My relationship with the Lord is growing deeper, and this is causing my friendships with others to blossom and grow. And I am blessed to have those special people in my life!

Excited for life this week. Planning on getting more active – it’s been a couple of months, but I’m ready to start running/walking again. And this time, as a family! It’s time to refocus and remember, if I act the way I want to be, soon I’ll be the way I act. (Thanks, Pam!) So join me and “show your strengths; shout your successes; you’re braver than you think!”

My Weight Watcher Weekly challenges us to try a little Positive Self Talking this week. Say to yourself “I have the tools I need to lose weight.”

Austin Swimming Lessons

2011-03-08T18:34:00.001-06:00

If you haven't signed your kiddos up for Swimming Lessons yet this summer, then this is the post for you.

For the past two years, Cayden has taken swimming lessons with Ms. Cathy of Ms. Cathy Swim Austin. She is utterly amazing. When Cayden was just three years old, she had him swimming across the pool UNDERWATER in just 4 lessons. Last year, we enrolled him in a refresher course, and he was swimming by the end of the 1st lesson. Now, he just loves to swim! We will put him in another refresher course, for safety reasons, but he's actually looking forward to swimming lessons with Ms. Cathy.

She teaches a Safety-First Survival Swim Program and swim lessons, which means that any child that can crawl should be able to swim to the side and get out of a pool if they fall in.

Check out her site and sign your kiddos up - if for nothing else, to save their lives in the case of a water emergency!

Journey to Goal – New Food #1

2011-03-07T13:35:00.001-06:00

This week’s WW challenge (I guess it’s technically last week’s, but I go to a Saturday meeting) is to try 10 new foods. I went to the store with this in mind and picked up some Brussels sprouts, some Orzo, Israeli Couscous, some Mango that is what I would call a “hybrid” a mix of a Mango and something else, and whole fresh beets. I know that’s not 10 things, but it’s a good start. I have no idea what I’m going to do with 1/2 of the stuff, but whenever I’m desperate for a healthy recipe, I head over to GreenLiteBites, a web site with the goal of posting healthy recipes that not just kiddos will love but also a “picky” husband. Now, I wouldn’t say that I’m married to a picky eater, but there are some things that he isn’t crazy about and therefore, my kiddos aren’t crazy about. Of course, there are some things the kids will eat that he won’t touch. Regardless, my sweet hubby has always been willing to try anything I’ve cooked.

Tonight we’re having Pork Chops with a Simple Mushroom Gravy and Simply Roasted Brussels Sprouts. I cannot remember the last time I had Brussels sprouts, but I’m convinced it’s when I was a child, so as an adult, I am accounting this as one of my new things to try this week. Both of these recipes are husband and kid approved so I’m hoping that Stephen and the kids will look past the mushrooms or the stigma behind Brussel sprouts and be pleasantly surprised with the results.

I was hoping to make it to tonight’s WW Meeting with my dear friend, Stephanie (it’s her 1st weigh in!!!), but it’s just not going to happen. There’s no way I can get Hannah to piano, cook dinner, pick up Stephen, truck over to the meeting (with kids and hubby in tow since we only have one car) and come home for a new daily tradition of a family devotion and have the kids in bed by 7:00 pm. So unfortunately, Stephanie and I will have to compare notes on another day (maybe over coffee/tea on Friday??? ) Just let me know!

I’ve very proud of myself yesterday who ate one piece of cake and a 1/2 cup of ice cream at our nephew’s birthday party. I had salad for lunch w/ grilled chicken, and for dinner (with our small group) we had grilled pork with AMAZING green beans (green beans, peanut oil, garlic, salt and pepper – cooked on High heat [Thanks Shannon and Luke] and fruit and a baby croissant. I think the only problem I had with anything yesterday was soda. I drank way too much of it. But that’s okay because I’ve decided that I’m giving up two things for lent – one personal and one physical thing – and the physical thing is soda. The personal thing is for another blog. Ash Wednesday is in two days!

Journey to Goal – Week 5

2011-03-05T10:01:00.001-06:00

After several weeks of gain and minimal loss last week, I’m happy to say that when staying on plan all week long (that that includes eating every one of my 49 Weekly Points Plus) I have had a loss of 1.6 making my grand total of 13.4 lbs. I’m getting closer and closer to my first trip to the tattoo parlor. And although the thought of that makes me nervous, knowing that I am so close to losing 15 lbs. makes me ecstatic. And I did have my new leader give me a 5 lb. star for my book since my first leader didn’t bother to acknowledge that I had lost 11 lbs. Technically, according to WW, I’ve lost 11 lbs total. They have my starting weight at less than what I weighed when I started going to the gym. So my numbers will be a little off (by 2 lbs) in my booklet, but I set it up online to be at my highest weight so that my weight loss includes all weight. These are the little things that probably don’t matter in the end, but right now at the beginning, are very important to this girl who is doing her best to follow the program. So I was rewarded today with a 5 lb. star and my booklet feels more complete to me. LOL

I don’t feel guilty for switching meetings. I’m actually going to try and go on Monday evenings with my friend, Stephanie, who just joined WW, but for some reason I refuse to weigh in at night so I’ll continue to go on Saturday mornings, bright and early. If anyone wants to join me, just let me know :) Those who are close to me get a text at 7:30 am with my WI results. I’m sure they are thrilled about that. Hehehe

I’m adding a few pages to the blog – my goals and eventually a pictorial progression of my weight loss. I did this before on my little free webs page, but I need to do it for current pictures. I’m also going to add a Weight Loss Progress Page with just my Weigh In information. Anything that will hold me accountable to you all!

This week’s meeting was all about mixing up your menu - and the challenge for the week is to eat 10 things you’ve never eaten before. What do you think I should try?

Journey to Goal - Weeks 1-4

2011-02-26T13:14:00.003-06:00

On January 21, I made my way back to a Weight Watchers meeting. Since October, I have been working really hard on eating well and exercising. I even joined a gym. I lost a total of 7 lbs on my own in three months. Sounds like a lot, but in reality, it wasn't enough for me. I heard about the new PointsPlus plan, talked to my doctor about nutrition, and decided to give the new plan a try. I have done something to my left elbow (it's either tennis elbow or a torn/injured radial something or another). After a couple weeks on Celebrex, several trips to the doctor, and a shot of cortizone, it's still bothering me. But I was told to only do aerobic activity. That being said, I love to run outside (not that I have done so recently), so I put my gym membership on a 6 month medical hold, and headed back to WW (with best friend in tow - thanks, Crystal). Although I'm not crazy about my leader, the Friday morning meeting is the only one that works for my scheduled. And in the past month I have lost a net of 4.8 lbs (it was 6.8 but I gained a little after not tracking 100% or following the good health guidelines). But I'm back on track now. With a total weight loss so far since October of 11.6 lbs, I am 3.4 lbs away from going and getting the first part of a tattoo I have been wanting for a while.

At WW meetings, you get a little goal star sticker for every 5 lbs you lose. I decided many years ago that I want to get a small daisy tattoo for every 5 lbs I lose. I'm going to go every 15 lbs and get three added until I have 12. My ultimate goal is to lose a total of 60 lbs - possibly more, but I want my weight to be back to what I was before I got pregnant with Cayden. I was at goal and remember being so happy with life because I was healthy.

They also have "rewards" they give you based on goals they set for you. The first time I did this, you got a key chain at 10% (which I carried all these years until it broken this past november), a magnet at 25, 50, 75, 100 lbs, and little charms for 16 weeks, goal, life time. This time around, I'm not sure what all the rewards are, but you do get a different sticker for different things. And at my 2nd WI, I hit my 5% goal and got a special sticker to put in my reward booklet. Let's celebrate!!

I have outside support from my meetings, my hubby (who will probably also reap the benefits of WW eating), and two of my best friends, Modesty and Crystal. I know I can do this. I watched myself lose 6.8 lbs before thinking I could work the system. Matter of fact is, you can't work eating healthy. You either do it, or don't.

Thankfully, I have 29 points a day and 49 weekly points (I'm sure I'm not using the correct WW terms, I'm still learning this new plan).

Here's to an awesome week! I'm looking forward to checking in on Friday!

Learning things the hard way

2010-08-24T18:32:00.001-05:00

Hannah has been taking piano for a little over a year. She has excelled fairly quickly and although it hasn’t been easy to get her to practice, she has never struggled to learn a new song. Until this week. I don’t know if it’s because we took a week break from piano, if it’s because school started yesterday and she’s exhausted, or if she just can’t figure it out, but today’s piano practice has been horrifying. So horrifying that I sent her to her room for screaming at me. So horrifying that tears are being shed (by her) because she “CAN’T DO IT.”

I’m still learning not to let her quit. I don’t know if I can handle tears every day because I’m MAKING her practice. Shouldn’t she enjoy it? Shouldn’t she want to practice? I want her to enjoy an extra curricular activity. I want her to like playing the piano. I don’t want her to play the piano because I make her.

When does a mom know when to stop the madness? I mentioned to her that if it was going to be this hard every day to get her to practice, we weren’t going to take lessons anymore. That suggestion alone sent her over the edge. Then I just told her I needed a break from her crying and left her alone. What did she do? She sat down, stopped crying, and played her songs.

I guess I’m just going to have to give her time and trust her. I can’t make her like something, but I can’t take something away from her that she loves. And she obviously loves taking piano lessons. She’s just hit a point in her learning where she’s being challenged. And she needs to be challenged.

And I need to be patient. Some things you have to learn the hard way.

That's MISTER Evil Doctor Pork Chop to you!

2010-08-15T22:05:00.002-05:00

No, actually, it’s just Buzz Lightyear – at the Lego Store.
My son has become a bit obsessed. Grandpa stated the other day, “I haven’t seen any boy so into Buzz Lightyear in several years, I’d say 7.” That is when our nephew, Tyler, was 4 years old. And every bit crazy about Buzz as Cayden.
It’s fun to see Cayden’s eyes light up the moment we start talking about Toy Story. He talks to fast that one cannot understand him at all. It’s just a blur of words. When he plays, it’s Toy Story – whether he’s turning his toy dinosaur into Rex (because we don’t have the real Rex) or he’s brought out Hannah’s old Mr. Potato Head to set up and play with. And I admit it, we have bought nearly all of the $5 toys (one at a time, about 2-3 weeks apart from one another). But he, all on his own, pulled out the dinosaurs and Mr. Potato Head. Mammaw bought him the “bigger” Buzz as well as a bucket of soldiers.
Those were perfect for a while. Until Aunt Bekah mentioned she had a Blue Buzz (Special Addition) at home that, wait for it. . . . TALKED!! And had a laser (it’s really just a tiny light bulb, mommy). Oh how we waited for nearly 2 weeks before we got to hold Blue Buzz! And then, I don’t think a minute in an entire day went by without playing with him – even sleeping with him. Life for this little boy was amazing!!
Until. . . . we made a trip to the Lego Store at the mall. There’s a giant Woody in the window. And the day we went, they were having a Lego event where children were actually able to contribute to building the giant Buzz Lightyear. Which was awesome! And exciting, not just for my little boy, but also Hannah and my two older nephews. They were in “Lego Heaven” as my sister-in-law calls it.
And later this week, we went and saw the finished Buzz. Cayden just kept screaming, “BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!!! BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!!!” Even in the photo. There are a couple of Legos sets that he’s just a tad bit interested in. And I think it’s incredibly cool that they make the playsets in the DUPLO style. Just big enough for my boy.
But for now, he has to dream a bit longer. That boy has too many toys as it is!

Friday Fix It – What a Cutie!

2010-08-13T17:49:00.001-05:00

I have discovered a photography web site that I think will continue to help me develop my photography skills, iheartfaces Every week they provide a photo to “fix” for their followers. I’ve decided to join in on the fun and gave it a shot. This photo was very hard for me to edit. I tried a number of things before I decided on an action, an additional layer, and less opacity.

Here’s what I did. I used PSCS 3 – Coffeeshop’s Moody Pop and Perfect Portrait Actions. Then I added MCP Take Action on Cancer Awareness Action for the B&W. Love how it’s soft but not vintage!

If this were my son, I’d be very pleased with the photo (either way)

And she’s 7

2010-08-11T13:56:00.001-05:00

7 is so close to 10. It’s so far away from 5. It’s really far away from a baby. But she’s still my baby girl. And she’s 7 years old. I’m still trying to figure out how and when that all happened. 7 years old. Starts 2nd grade in 1 1/2 weeks. Loves to swim, dance, and play the piano.

I still can’t believe that she used to be this tiny:

Super Fun Dinners

2010-08-05T17:40:00.001-05:00

My kids are not picky eaters. I’m very blessed to have children who will usually eat what is put in front of them. And they always eat better for other people. Ask Dorothy to share that story with you :)

This week I decided to pull out new cookbook. A friend gave me Cooking for Kids WINNING RECIPES as a thank you for hosting her baby shower. I admit it, when I got home, it just went on the shelf with all the cookbooks. Then for some reason, I pulled the cookbook down to go through it. LOTS of fun ideas for not just dinner, but every meal under the sun – breakfast, snacks, lunch, desserts, and dinner. I decided to sit down and plan a week of meals from the cookbook and see what happened.

Although I had complete control over the menu, I let the kids decide which day we ate what. I cooked more this week than I think I have in a while (actually I cooked more new things. We usually eat the same things every week – pretty boring around here).

Here is what we came up with:

Cayden’s Choice – Sloppy Joe Race Cars

Ingredients:

1 tbs. olive oil
1 medium onion, sliced
2 pounds ground turkey or ground beef
1 jar (1 lb 10 oz) RAGU ROBUSTO Pasta Sauce (for this, I substituted Salt Lick BBQ Sauce since Cayden can’t have tomato)
1/4 cup firmly packed brown sugar
2 tbs sweet pickle relish (omitted, forgot to buy)
8 hero rolls (we used whole wheat)
Race Car Garnishes – mini pretzel twists for steering wheel, zucchini or cucumber for wheels attached to thin pretzel sticks, radish for the driver – (FYI, I didn’t do this. I just put cheese on toothpicks and called them wheels)

Directions

In 12-in nonstick skillet, heat olive oil over med-high heat and cook onion, stirring occasionally, 2 minutes or until tender. Add ground turkey and cook, stirring occasionally, until done.
Stir in Pasta Sauce, brown sugar, and relish. Cover and simmer 10 minutes
Meanwhile, cut out a 5x2 in “trench” in top of rolls, removing some bread. To serve, evenly fill rolls with turkey mixture.

Makes 8 servings <---Great for Leftovers!

Mom’s Choice – Octo-dogs and Shells

Ingredients

4 hot dogs
1 1/2 cups small shell pasta
1 1/2 cups frozen mixed vegetables
1 cup prepared Alfredo sauce
Yellow mustard in squeeze bottle
Goldfish crackers

Directions

Lay 1 hot dog on cutting surface. Starting one inch from one end of hot dog, slice hot dog vertically in half. Roll hot dog 1/4 turn. Starting 1 inch from same end, slice in half vertically again, making 4 segments connected at top. Slice each segment in half vertically, creating a total of 8 "legs." Repeat with remaining hot dogs.
Place hot dogs in medium saucepan; cover w/ water. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat. Remove from heat; set aside.
Prepare pasta according to package directions, stirring in vegetables during last 3 minutes of cooking time. Drain; return to pan. Stir in Alfredo sauce. Heat over low heat until heated through. Divide past mixture between 4 plates.
Drain octo-dogs. Arrange one octo-dog on top of pasta mixture on each plate. Draw faces on the "heads" of octo-dogs with mustard. Sprinkle crackers over pasta.

Serves 4

Dad’s Choice – Cheesy Stuffed Meatballs and Spaghetti

Ingredients

1 pound ground meat
1/2 cup Italian seasoned dry bread crumbs
1 egg
2 ounce mozzarella cheese, cut into 12 (1/2 in) cubes
1 jar RAGU Old World Style Pasta Sauce
8 ounce spaghetti, cooked and drained

Directions

In medium bowl, combine ground meat, bread crumbs and egg; shape into 12 meatballs. Press 1 cheese cube into each meatball, enclosing completely.
In 3-quart saucepan, bring Pasta Sauce to a boil over med-high heat. Gently stir in uncooked meatballs (I set 3 aside and pan cooked them plain for Cayden)
Reduce heat to low and simmer, covered, stirring occasionally, 20 minutes or until meatballs are done. Serve over hot spaghetti.

Makes 4 servings

Hannah’s Choice – Stuffed Corn Bread

Ingredients

1 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
3/4 cup yellow cornmeal
2 tbs sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup milk
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1 egg
1/2 cup (2 ounces) diced Cheddar cheese, divided
2 thin slices deli ham diced (I used 2 hot dogs)
1/4 cup tomato or pasta sauce (optional)

Directions

Preheat over to 350*. Spray 3 mini loaf pans with nonstick cooking spray
Combine dry ingredients in a medium bowl. Whisk milk, oil, and egg in a small bowl. Pour milk mixture over flour mixture; still until moistened.
Spoon 1/2 of batter evenly into prepared pans. Layer 1/2 of cheese, ham and tomato sauce over batter; top with remaining batter and cheese.
Bake about 30 minutes or until edges are browned and toothpick inserted into centers comes out clean. Cool in pans on wire racks 5 minutes. Remove from pans; slice and serve warm.

Makes 6 servings

Verdict? Kids have LOVED it all. Not too thrilled about hot dogs that look like octopus but still ate dinner :)

Friends

2010-08-01T21:29:00.001-05:00

While I was in High School, one of my favorite songs was Friends by Michael W. Smith. I could listen to this song every day. It brought lots of smiles and happy tears growing up as I spent my summers with friends from OAFC. Some of these people are still my closest friends. Some of them I’ve reconnected with and continue to keep in touch, and some of these people are just a memory, but a happy one at that.

College friends are very similar. I made some amazing friends in college and am very blessed to this day to still have a relationship with them. What’s even more amazing is that years went by from college graduation to reconnecting and when the reconnection was made, it was like there was no separation.

And now, I’ve come to realize this as an adult. I have my girlfriends, some whom I have been friends with since high school (like my BFF, Crystal). I have my mommy friends whom I met when I was a part of MOPS and am still good friends with and enjoy watching our children develop close friendships (thank you Jennifer L!). Some are my help keep me sane friends (thank you Dorothy). And some are my new friends (love you Jen C and Christee), but all in all, they are an important part of my life.

But I learned something this weekend as I watch Stephen struggle to work on our backyard fence. No one is perfect. Forgiveness is a part of life. And it’s okay to take yourself back to a place where you know you will always be loved and accepted, no matter how long you’ve been away. And this is what the friendship and relationships I have made at The Well are like. It has been nearly a year since I’ve seen any of these people in person. I’ve kept up with some on Face Book, but for the most part, after my PapPap passed away, I pulled away from anyone who loved me – especially people who loved me unconditionally. And although I regret this, I cannot dwell on it, and I am so thankful that with open arms, I was received back into the lives of these people, no questions asked. And I love them all very much because like the words of the song:

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long to live as friends.

Working Out

2010-08-01T14:15:00.001-05:00

So I have a new commitment. With myself. For myself. About a month ago, I started running again – to train, to condition, and just to be. My ultimate goal for myself is to lose 60 lbs. Right now, I’d be happy if I could just lose 10 lb. It’s slow going, and not fun.

You’ve heard the saying, “It didn’t take you 2 months to put on the weight, it’s not going to take you 2 months to take it off.” I kinda hate being told that. It didn’t take me 2 months, but in less than a year (7 months to be exact), I lost 14 lbs and then gained 30 lb. 30 lbs! On top of the 30 I needed to lose due to baby weight from carrying Cayden.

I’m a stress eater – comfort eater – just plain eater. And this summer, I decided that I’m tired of being unhappy with myself. I’m happy in my life. I love my kids. Love my husband. Love my friends. I just don’t love myself right now. Or I don’t love my self image. I don’t know why I’m so hard on myself. I know that part of it is that I’ve been that fit, thin, and healthy person. And it really wasn’t that long ago. Well, 5 years ago I was at my goal weight. And people told me I was glowing and just happy.

Right now I’m a happy person, but I am more negative at times than I would like to admit. I’ve been on antidepressant/anxiety medication for 4 1/2 years. I was pregnant with Cayden when I went on them. Last year, I was able to taper off them when I was active. And then I became less active and had to start taking them again.

Last month, I stopped taking them, started exercising (running and some strength training), following my weight watchers points allowance, and drinking my water. Although I haven’t lost as much weight as I would like – it took me 10 months to lose 50 lbs in 2004-2005 – I feel better. I feel confident that I don’t need the medication anymore – just so long as I’m active.

I know I will get there. I just have to stick with it. And really watch what I’m eating – because what is it, 85% of losing weight is diet and 15% is exercise (for the normal person – not the person on the biggest loser show whose job is to work out for 8 hours a day).

Needed to get this all out there.

And now, I’ve been awarded a blog award. I think this is super cute :) So thank you to my sweet friend, and fellow blogger, Traci for selecting my blog as a Blog with Substance, especially since this blog is really like a journal at times – or a newspaper – full of pointless or extremely proud information about my life and all that’s crazy within it. Unlike my blog, Traci’s thoughts seem to come together a little better (okay or maybe I’m just really hard on myself). Be sure to check out Traci’s Tall Tales and read the about her chronicle all the crazy things in her life.

Now it's my turn to pass this along. To accept my award, I must:
1. Thank the person who gave it to me. (see above)
2. Sum up my blogging philosophy/motivation/experience in/with five words – reflect, share, rant, life, love

3. Pass this award on up to 10 bloggers who I consider to have substance.

Traci and Tall Tales, since I read her blog every other day, if not daily. It would not be fair if I didn’t award her with it since she’s really who I follow (stalk) the most.
Shaunna and Simply Shaunna
Crystal and That’s What I Said
Kim and Being Mrs. Wresh
Sunshine and her amazing and yummy blog, Make Life Delicious
Jen and The Davis Family
Ashley and Being Beard
Sarah and So Farr, So Good

A Legacy

2010-07-24T07:38:00.001-05:00

On our way to Jacksonville yesterday, we listened to music from my iPod. I have a very large variety of music on there. That tells me that I really have “grown up” so to speak and become a pretty well rounded person. The music that plays and is my driving source when I run are The Black Eyed Peas, I know every lyric to every Hannah Montana Song because I have a sweet little girl who adores her. Lots of country and contemporary Christian music (which is my music of choice), and then other music that I just enjoy.

One of my favorite songs is Legacy by Nicole Noderman. On our drive this song came on and I just stopped to listen to the words….

I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one.

It is my pray that I live my life in this way. I want those who meet me to know that I love Him and therefore accept them. And I want my children to do the same. I want to be genuine – all the time. I want to be compassionate. I want to live out the fruits of the spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, faithfulness and self-control. I don’t always practice these all the time, but I think I’m doing a fairly good job at the moment.

Just Poolin’ Around

2010-07-18T20:28:00.001-05:00

This July we set up a pool in the backyard. Several years ago, Grandma Liz bought a pool on clearance in the off season for $25. This was back when we lived with them. During their move, the pool got shoved into the corner of our garage and was essentially “lost.” When summer came, we searched high and low for this pool and could not find it. Our garage looks like a storage unit with boxes stacked in the far corner. For some reason, I was digging through the garage looking for baby things (a friend just had a baby) and stumbled across the pool. It took us a couple months, but we finally got the pool up at the beginning of July, and life at home this summer has been so much easier.

We still go out and play with friends, but most mornings (and afternoons), the kids are in the pool, just having a blast. I’m so thankful for the swimming lessons we enrolled Cayden in at the beginning of the summer. I’m thankful that Hannah was able to practice swimming a few times. And now, both kiddos are fish who just love to hang out in the pool.

And I must admit that after a morning run or just on a hot afternoon, it really is nice to be able to cool off in the pool. I was a little nervous about how much work it would be, but thanks to a good friend, we are able to work out the logistics and maintenance of the pool care without spending a fortune.

And it’s super fun to have friends over. The kids love it. The grown ups love it. It’s just worth it. Stephen is already talking about an upgrade for next summer. I think he’s a little crazy, but hey, he love it, too!

Say Yes! To VBS!

2010-07-04T09:54:00.001-05:00

The first month of summer is a busy time for my family. We see to go more during that first month than we do all year. My children love Vacation Bible School and so during the 1st month of summer, we usually attend four – at four different churches.

This year, we did three. And for one week, my kids were able to both attend while Mommy was able to get things done – around the house – around the town – kid free. I am longing for the first week in August when I get to do that again!

Week 1 of VBS was at Westoak Woods. I volunteered with Cayden’s class. This made me realize how thankful I am that I only work 2 days a week. And I’m so thankful for Noah’s Ark. I know where everything is, I know the director, and I know most of the teachers. I also know that VBS is a completely different story and that we did the best with what we had available to us. And when I couldn’t find something, someone else knew where it was. I just don’t like knowing where things are when I need them.

The kids had a blast at Saddle Ridge Ranch and really enjoyed the music.

The next week, the children attended Bethany’s Voyage on the High Seas. Another week of Bible stories, another week of new music – which I really enjoy, by the way. Another week of lots of fun. But I did not take my camera with me this week, and we didn’t participate in the End of Week Program because between swimming lessons, VBS, and visiting Grandpa, the kids were just worn out.

This past week, we attended Planet Zoom at Beautiful Savior – my childhood church. It was an exhausting week, but we had a blast. I was the music leader and completely wore myself out leading the music. I swear I lost 10 lbs this week from all the exercise I have been doing on top of my running. That’s an exaggeration, but you get the idea of how involved it is to teach 30 children 10 different songs in 5 days. The kids ate up the music and we had the best participation we’ve had in years – even from the older kids. Of course, taking away all the chairs in the music room and insisting that everyone participate helped with that. They still had a blast!! But because I was leading music, I wasn’t able to run around and snap photos. I got a couple of Cayden and none of Hannah. This is my favorite.

This upcoming week should be slower for us. We don’t really have any plans. Monday is a holiday (yeah!), and the rest of the week, we’re going to take it easy. I pray it doesn’t rain anymore, only because if I have to stay for another week inside with my children while the pool just sits outside, I’m going to have to be locked up somewhere. Summer is hard when it rains. The kids still play, read, and watch a little TV, but with a new pool, all of that is done very begrudgingly. Here’s to a beautiful 1st week of our 2nd month of summer.

In Memory of Stuart

2010-07-01T15:12:00.001-05:00

KXAN News Story

Stuart’s Obituary

Hard to believe that a sweet friend passed away this week. Younger than I am. Life can be so cruel sometimes. I wanted to share a little about this special friend. You see, I knew a side to Stuart that many did not know. Our friendship began many years ago, and those memories are what are helping me get through this difficult time.

Stuart always had a smile on his face. He had this shimmering blue/grey eyes that could melt your heart just by looking into them. Many know and remember Stuart as a party guy. He liked to drink. He liked to spend time with friends. He liked to be goofy.

Many people never saw the side of Stuart I knew. I don’t know if it’s because I was young and naive or because he saw me as a “church girl”, but the times I spent with Stuart Kerley were like no one else’s.

When Stuart and I were friends, we just spent our time together roaming around. Either at my home or his, we would just hang out – lots of walks, lots of TV, and even a little mud (Stuart lived on some land and actually got me to spend time outside on it).

I remember the summer we were “dating.” I put that in quotes because Stuart and I were just kids. Walking around, holding hands, and stealing the occasional kiss from one another. Our relationship was very innocent. I remember going off to a Summer Mission Retreat before cell phones. Every night, I would steal away to the PAY PHONE, to call him. It was hard to not see someone for a week when you were used to spending all your waking time with him. So the pay phone was our connection to one another. And we both looked forward to that call – if only to hear the other’s voice.

The thing I love most about Stuart is that there was no pressure from him – about anything. Knowing that I wasn’t into the partying scene in high school, he actually chose to NOT party around me. Shocking, I know, but there were times in Stuart’s life when he was just a kid – not trying to grow up too quickly – or be too cool.

He came to church with me. We talked about God and heaven. And it made me feel good to know that he was comfortable enough with my family and me to come to church with us. Being 16 and having a boyfriend was tough enough – knowing he cared about me enough to actually come to church with me still to this day leaves an impression on me.

Our friendship was deeper than what it appeared on the surface. After we drifted a part “romance” wise, we were still friends. He still came to church with me. We still spent time together. Just not as often as we used it. I became friends with his brother, Shawn. And both of these guys are family to me. I love them both tremendously.

Of course, like many do after high school, Stuart and I lost touch. But then, MySpace and Face Book emerged from the Internet world, and along with them came a reconnection. A reconnection I am so thankful to have made. Not only did I reconnect with one of the sweetest guys from my past, but I also go to know his sweet wife. Stuart was crazy about her. One day at his house I remember telling him, “She’s a keeper, Stuart.” And to see the love brimming from within just made me smile. His response, “Yeah, she’s pretty special. I love her a lot.”

It was really good to not only reconnect with Stuart, but also with his family. A few summers ago, our families spent some time together. Stuart and Crystal got to know my kiddos and husband. Stephen never new Stuart very well in High School. He is several years older than us. But he didn’t hesitate to get to know Stuart, the adult. And now Stephen can call Stuart his friend. His goofy, silly, crazy friend.

It’s still hard to believe that he’s really gone. No matter how busy life got, I always talked to him at Christmas – if just to say Merry Christmas. This Christmas is going to be hard on all of us.

Of course, Stuart’s death is a reminder of us all to not take life for granted. And to tell those around us that we love them. All the time.

Run Like the Wind, Bullseye!

2010-06-20T17:55:00.001-05:00

I admit it. I’m a sucker. I’m sentimental, and I cry at the movies.

Never in my life did I expect to cry at Toy Story 3.

But I did. Like a baby.

I’m pretty sure it has to do with me being a mom.

I think I’ve been waiting for this movie just as impatiently as my children. Cayden was so excited about it coming to the theater. We’ve been watching Toy Story and Toy Story 2 nonstop in our home. He plays Toy Story throughout the day. In fact, yesterday morning, I caught him in the playroom with Mr. Potato Head. I asked him, “Cayden, are you playing Mr. Potato Head?”

His response to me? “No, mom. I’m playing Toy Story.”

I asked him, “With who?”

And he reaches down and says, “With Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head AND Buzz and Woody!” He pulled out his figures and then went back to playing. So cute.

It was a surprise that we were going to the movie. And a last minute decision. We were going to wait until next week. I’m so glad we didn’t.

Arriving an hour early, Cayden ran around like a crazy person, super excited to be at the theater. The movie started, and the excitement continued. When Woody lost his hat, Cayden’s Woody toy had to lose his hat. When he got it back, we had to put Cayden’s Woody’s hat back on his head. This was DURING the movie.

When Andy decides what’s going to college and what isn't, Cayden calls out, “Mommy, can I take my Woody and Buzz to college?”

The movie had it’s scary moments. And Cayden was in my lap, at some point on top of my head, I’m pretty certain.”

In the end, it turns out happy, and I got all sentimental and cried about how much I love watching my kids be happy. And for some other reasons, too, but I don’t want to give away the movie. But at some point, Cayden called out, “I LOVE MY TOYS!”

And as soon as it was over he asked, “Can we go and get the DVD now?” Poor guy. I wonder how long we have to wait for that to come out on video.

I was warned

2010-06-14T19:21:00.002-05:00

I wanted to start running again. I can’t say I was excited about it, but I was determined.
New running shoes? Check.
Black Eyed Peas Album on iPod? Check.
RunKeeper on iPhone updated? Check.
Dog in tow? Up early enough? Check. 1/2 check (it was really too late to run).
At 8:00 am on Sunday, June, 13, I headed out for my 1st run since April. My 1st real run. Not just me running to see if I can go a mile. But a full on, warm up, workout, cool down on a new route.
I felt empowered. I pushed myself to actually run faster than I have before. Usually I stroll. Not yesterday. I pushed myself on the runs, and even on the walks. Until I got through the workout. And realized I still had at least 1/2 a mile to go before I got home. So instead of heading home, I decided to take the long way. I trudged along. And I mean trudged, sometime walking only 2 mph.
But I made it. 2.1 miles around the neighborhood. In 36 minutes. I was proud of myself. Proud that I pushed myself that hard. Proud that on my first day out, my time was actually decent. Not great, but certainly better than it had been in the months prior.
The heat got to me. My head started pounding. That I could handle. I pushed my water and drank a little caffeine. And made it through the day. I took, not one, but two, hot showers yesterday, impressed that I wasn’t hurting.
And then it hit me. At 2 in the morning, my entire body freaked out. My legs were aching, my feet were killing me, my back locked up, and I was starving. I took some motrin, drank a glass of water, and forced myself to go back to sleep. I woke up. . . it was 3 am. . . back to sleep. . . up at 4, 5, and 6:30. Finally deciding sleep wasn’t going to continue, I got up at 7:30 and started on dinner for the evening and getting ready for the day.
Sent a message to my running buddy, Traci. She called me and said, “Don’t just sit today. Get moving. Walk around. Don’t go for a walk, but stay on your feet.” I had plans all morning so that wasn’t going to be difficult. When we got home, Crystal came over for lunch, and we hung out. She left, and I decided to mow the backyard. Took me longer than usual, but I got it done. When I was done, I came inside to check my email.
I make one mistake.
I sat down.
And got stuck. It took me a good 10 minutes to get my body up. Literally. Not just sat for 10 minutes. Get UP.
But I was warned.
And I’ll go running tomorrow morning. This time a little earlier (okay 1 1/2 hours earlier is the plan. We’ll see if that works out).

Starting Over Running Round 1

2010-06-13T10:00:00.003-05:00

Start Time

8:03 am

End Time

8:23 am

Duration

0:20:31

Distance

1.31

Avg. Pace

15:44

per mi

Avg. Speed

3.81

mph

Climbed

Burned

154

calories

Workout Continued

Start Time

8:24 am

End Time

8:40 am

Duration

0:16:02

Distance

0.81

Avg. Pace

19:51

per mi

Avg. Speed

3.02

mph

Climbed

Burned

calories

Time to Run

2010-06-12T19:15:00.002-05:00

I’ve decided it’s time for me to start running again. I’m doing fairly well with eating right – clean, organic food most of the time. My family has actually learned how to eat out this way. My choices are limited, but thankfully there are a few places in Austin that do serve this lifestyle.
Shopping today made me feel really good about myself. I bought 3 different kinds of bottoms – two pairs of capris and one pair of shorts. All different brands. All size 14. And they all fit well – not a little snug, not too tight, just right. BIG feat for me. Usually I am the one buying those just a little snug pants that I hope will become loose on me in a few weeks. Doesn’t usually happen. But this really made me realize that I can do this. I can continue to be healthy and lose the weight again.
And I remember how good running actually makes me feel. Now, I don’t really enjoy the act of running. It’s hard work – on my body. But it’s so good for me. I have more energy and my mind is less cluttered. When I was running, I was able to go off all my med – sleeping, anxiety, depression. The only things I was taking were my vitamins and Motrin. That right there says why I should start up again.
Oh, and the fact that our dog is way less crazy when he’s running daily/every other day.
Now, why I decided to start in June is beyond me. I guess I like the horrible heat and humidity. Or else, I’m clueless. I’ll go with the latter.

Grace

2010-06-10T19:50:00.001-05:00

This year Hannah took a ballet class at DanceXplosion in Austin. Each Friday we would head to dance class where Hannah learned the art of Ballet from Arabesque to Plie along with Barre work. At the beginning of the year, I worried that she takes after me and has no rhythm or skill when it came to dancing. Hannah complained about the Barre and really only looked forward to seeing Darby and Kate. Even mid year I was worried about how we were ever going to make it through the dance year and be ready for recital. She was clumsy and unfocused and just seemed uninterested. I gave her the option of quitting ballet because it seemed pointless to me to make her do something she didn’t enjoy. I didn’t realize the discipline she was gaining from the experience. She insisted that she liked ballet and really wanted to continue attending class.

Around Spring Break, I asked Miss Tiffany if we could video tape a rehearsal with her actually dancing along with the girls. And each week, Hannah actually practiced. Then I asked if we could have a copy of the song for her to practice along with. At that point, Hannah informed me that she wanted to perform her recital dance as a solo in the school talent show. And she began to practice daily at home. And when recital time came around, she was not only ready, but also graceful. Hannah looked like she belonged on the stage. Miss Tiffany worked really hard with her “ballerinas” to not only instill the knowledge and skills they would need to perform, but she also somehow inspired my daughter to actually become a little ballerina – and a good one at that. Stephen asked me after the rehearsal, “Is it just because I’m her dad, or is she really good?” That’s the first time he’s even shown an interest (outside of being the proud father) in her learning ballet. And you know what? She is. . . really good, and I am really proud of her!

Quiet

2010-06-08T18:53:00.001-05:00

I’m sitting in my home, enjoying the quiet. It’s not every day quiet – you know the quiet you get when you send your kids to their rooms to play. Or send them outside. It’s more than that. It’s near silent. There is no sound of children playing, laughing, screaming. It’s just quiet.

For the 1st time in weeks, I’m home alone. These past weeks have been full of life. Get from here to there. Make sure we are fed. Is the laundry done? Is the law mowed? Has Hannah brought everything home from school? Don’t forget to grab the teachers something as a thank you. Don’t forget splash day! Or field day! Did you put on sunscreen?

And between all those events, we’ve gone up to the rehab hospital to visit grandpa. We’ve been up there every day, but one, and on that day, Stephen still went. Our evenings have been disrupted (for good cause), and the family is spending precious time with grandpa (Dad Mc).

Don’t let me forget to mention that I had two photo shoots on Saturday. Two wonderful photo shoots – but boy, was it hot. . .and boy, was it humid. The photos are great, BTW.

I’m also leading the praise time at Noah’s Ark Summer Camp this year (it’s not too much, 20 minutes a week, but the prep for it was insane). I’m subbing, too, but I’ve only had to sub once so far.

Next week I’m helping with Preschool VBS at Weskoak Woods and leading Praise Time.

All of this activity has had it toll on my body, and I’m hurting. My head, my neck, my shoulders, my back. And I’m craving things that are not good for me like soda and chocolate. And I’ve allowed myself to indulge a bit – to keep me sane, I say.

Finally got a moment to talk to a sweet friend of mine. And her exact words to me were, “Rose, you have to send the kids with Stephen tonight, alone, and stay home. If you don’t, you’re going to burn out, and where will that put you?” And she’s right – it will put me into a full blown, 3 day migraine. And I can’t afford that right now.

So that’s what I did. And although I do feel little guilty, and sad, that I’m missing time with grandpa, I know my kids still get to see him. And Stephen. And it’s okay.

Why? Because sometimes we all need a little quiet.

CATCH Family Fun Night

2010-06-02T10:37:00.002-05:00

I’m a little behind on my blogging of events this year. If you think I’m behind on blogging, you should see how far behind I am on scrapbooking. It’s really kind of sad. I’ve got about 1/3 of my class scrapbook finished and haven’t really even begun on my two children’s books. That’s really sad seeing how I’m the Historian for Hannah’s school – it might be finished by end of Summer. I’ll have to have a scrapbooking marathon one weekend to get it done. Thankfully, it doesn’t take me long to whip out the pages, it’s just making myself sit down to scrapbook on the computer. Since I made a personal goal to spend more time being active and keeping the house clean, I’ve been FLY-ing and playing with my children instead of preserving memories.
Because Hannah’s school is a Title I school in Texas, they receive grant money to host events throughout the year. One of those events is CATCH Family Fun Night – a night that promotes healthy living. The school shares with parents everything they are doing to keep our children healthy and active. We get to partake in a “school lunch” which is a little, but not much better than the lunches exhibited on Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution.

AISD develops different menus for each school level. Lunch menus are designed to meet one-third of the Recommended Dietary Allowances for calories, protein, iron, calcium, Vitamin A and Vitamin C. Additionally the menus are analyzed to assure that the week does not exceed 30 percent of calories from fat or 10 percent of calories from saturated fat. Sodium, cholesterol and fiber are monitored as well. With our new feature you may view the nutrients for each food item on the menu.
Lunch consists of an entrée, two selections of fruit, vegetables or salad, bread which may be part of the entrée or separate and a choice of milk. Students may select all five components or may take three components for a full meal. Meals are priced as a unit; however, each item is available a la carte.
Breakfast menus are designed to meet one-fourth of the Recommended Dietary Allowances for calories, protein, iron, calcium, Vitamin A and Vitamin C. They are also analyzed for weekly averages of fat and saturated fat and monitored for sodium, cholesterol and fiber.

I feel bad saying this, but “blah, blah, blah.” I’ve seen the food, some of it is processed, some of it isn’t . Thankfully, Hannah will tell me what she chose for the day, and usually it’s the fresh option – on the days she has the choice of a taco or a hot dog, she takes the taco, which is ground turkey, seasonings, and lettuce. I’m proud of her for the choices she makes. And she watched the Food Revolution with me. She’ll never have a chicken nugget again, which makes me proud and laugh all at the same time.

The CATCH Program focuses on coordinating four components: the Eat Smart school nutrition program, K-5 and 6-8 Classroom curriculum,a Physical Education program, and a Family program. The Coordination of health messages between these four component areas is critical to positively impact children's knowledge and behavior. For over 10 years CATCH has guided schools, families, and children in the process of being healthy. CATCH, the largest school-based health promotion study in the U.S., has demonstrated that behaviors such as eating foods high in saturated fat and physical inactivity can be changed.

Our family participated in CATCH Family Fun Night and I took photos to prove it. I’m very impressed with Hannah’s jump roping, hula hooping, and dance skills. She loves to run, but it’s a runner, but she certainly excels in other areas.

Getting Ready for Preschool Praise Time

2010-06-01T09:47:00.002-05:00

This summer, I decided to take off from teaching a full class at Preschool Summer Camp. I want my kids to enjoy Vacation Bible School and not have to worry about running around from here to there. I’m taking what I learned from my fast this Spring and slowing things down. And although I think I may lose my mind, spending all this time with my kiddos, I’m excited to see what the Lord has in store for them.
I did accept the position of Praise Time Leader during Summer Camp though. Summer Camp at Noah’s Ark is 4 weeks of MDO (Tues and Thurs) from 9-12. It’s like VBS, but for the really little kiddos. Both my children are old enough to go to the full blown VBS’s this year, so we will be participating in several of them, with myself volunteering during several. But in the meantime, I will spend about 20 minutes on Tuesdays for the month of June, leading this special Praise Time.
Usually it is not difficult to choose songs to sing. There are 4 weeks – 4 themes – and so usually 4 song. The first week is Space and how God Made Everything. We originally chose the song, My God is so Big for this week, but as I was looking for other songs, Stephen reminded me of the song, He’s Still Workin’ On Me. For those of you not familiar with this song, the lyrics to the chorus (which is what we will sing over and over again in Praise time) are as follows,
He's still working on me to make me what I ought to be.
It took Him just a week to make the moon and stars,
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars.
How loving and patient He must be, He's still working on me.
We are excited to sing this song because it mentions some of the planets. The kids are going to LOVE it! We’ve decided that My God is So Big will be the THEME song for Summer Camp this year, meaning we will sing it each week.
The 2nd week of Summer Camp focuses on the story of Noah, but with a twist. In the classrooms, the kiddos will be learning about farm animals. I thought about singing the same old Noah songs that the kids all know – Arky, Arky, Who Built the Ark, etc. But then I decided I wanted to focus on the farm aspect. Little did I know how difficult it would be to find a song about Jesus and Farm Animals. I had to delve into my memory and travel back to my college days. When I was a part of Living Praise, we sang a silly song called, I Just Wanna Be a Sheep. There are some verses that aren’t really preschool appropriate, BUT the chorus and last verse are perfect, so we will be baaing our way through Praise Time and having a blast.
Week 3 was the most difficult week to plan for. The theme of the week is Prayer and Growing. You’d think I’d know tons of songs about these subjects, and I do. Unfortunately, they are not preschool appropriate. But my sweet friend, Kim, came to the rescue and introduced me to the preschool song, How to Pray. It’s perfect for the week, and upbeat, which really was the goal in this song.
And lastly, our final week is about Jesus calming the storm. I really wanted the kids to learn a song about how Jesus keeps us safe. I googled it and found the lyrics to the song With Jesus in the Boat. This is a song from the 1940s. I was a little nervous about finding a file to use that wouldn’t drag on and on. But thanks to a wonderful web site and resource, Turn Back To God, I not only found the song and lyrics, but also an mp3 file. And when I couldn’t get the song to download, the owner, Georgy, walked along with me (via instant message) until it downloaded to my computer. And did I mention this was all FREE???? Free music resources?? Hello? This should be bookmarked by everyone!!!
And now, the Praise Time CD is ready to go. Our first praise time is at 11:20 which means I’ll need to get moving. Thankfully, I’m already up, dressed, and ready to go. Just letting the boy watch an episode of Phineas and Ferb before heading out.
Thanks again to all my awesome resources. Kim and Georgy, this time wouldn’t be a success without y’all!! May the Lord continue to pour His blessings upon you!

Dealing with Trauma

2010-05-29T08:57:00.002-05:00

You never think that your life will be affect by trauma. You see it happen around you. You pray for those involved, but you never think that one day, you will be the one asking for prayers. You never think that you could watch one of the most amazing people in your life lay in the ICU fighting for his life. You never think. Until it happens.
My sweet father-in-law was in a serious motorcycle accident last Saturday. Hard to believe a week has gone by and in a moment, our lives have changed dramatically for the time being. He sustained some serious injuries, including a contusion. The contusion is causing some major confusion. His short term memory is pretty much nonexistent. And although it’s hard to see him in this condition, the progress he’s made since Saturday has been amazing.
Ernie has been moved to Texas NeuroRehab Center. He has been approved for 1 week of therapy, although the doctors seem to think that once he’s reevaluated at week’s end, he’ll be able to stay an additional week. He is recognizing faces, remembering specifics about people. When we went to see him on Tuesday, he asked for me specifically, addressed my children by name, and had a short conversation with Stephen.
I’ve heard this is happening with all who have visited. And it’s good. Cayden is just happy to see Grandpa. Hannah, on the other hand, would rather not be there. That or she really just misses the Grandpa she saw on Saturday before the accident.
But I have faith in our god, Jehovah-Rophe – the great healer. I know that He will continue to place his healing hands on Ernie and we will see continued progress to his condition.
Lord God, Jehovah-Rophe, I pray for your healing touch on Ernie. Make every part of his body function in the way you designed it to. Wherever there is anything out of balance, set it in perfect working order. Heal him of his injuries. Strengthen his body to successfully endure this workload of rebuilding, and when he sleeps, may he wake up completely rested, rejuvenated, and refreshed. Give him a strong heart that doesn’t fail.
I pray You will sustain him and heal him. Fill him with your joy to give him strength. Specifically, I pray for his brain injury, and broken bones. Give him the faith to say, “ ‘O LORD my God, I cried out to You, and You healed me’ [Psalm 30:2]. Thank You, Lord, that You are my Healer.”
Lord, You alone know the depth of the burden Ernie carries. We may understand the specifics, but You have measured the weight of it on his shoulders. We've not come to minimize what You are doing in his life, for we know You work great things in the midst of trials. Nor are we trying to protect him from what he must face. We only want to support him so that he will get through this battle as the winner.
God, You are our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1). You have invited us to “come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16). I come before Your throne and ask grace for Ernie. Strengthen his heart for this battle and give him patience to wait on You (Psalm 27:1-4). Build him up so that no matter what happens he will be able to stand strong through it. Help us to always be “rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer” (Romans 12:12). Give him endurance to run the race and not give up, for You have said that “a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again” (Proverbs 24:16). Help him to remember that “the steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD, and He delights in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; for the LORD upholds him with His hand” (Psalm 37:23, 24).
I pray that we will look to You to be our “refuge until these calamities have passed by” (Psalm 57:1). May we learn to wait on You because “those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31). I pray that Ernie will find his strength in You and as he cries out to You, You will hear him and save him out of all his troubles (Psalm 34:6).

(Prayers by Stormie OMartian)

Racecars Meet the Dollies

2010-05-27T16:59:00.002-05:00

Racecars meet the dollies is something my children play quite often. Hannah wants to play dollies (Barbies and Princesses), and Cayden wants to play with his cars. They both want to play together, so they gather up the cars and head to Hannah’s room to play this time consuming activity. They will play together for a couple hours with no fighting. It’s too cute for words and great for the mommy who is busy cooking dinner or cleaning, laundry, etc.
This Spring, Mammaw won tickets to Disney on Ice from our “Positive Listening” Radio Station, The River – it used to be 102.3 but is moving to 105.9. Anyway, mom signed up and within a few hours had received a phone call regarding the tickets. I went to pick them up – a family four pack – It was decided that Mammaw, myself, Hannah, and Cayden would attend. The themes? CARS, The Little Mermaid, The Lion King, and the Tinker Bell Fairies. The racecars and the dollies came to life on ice and both of my children were in complete awe of the show. It was a fun afternoon spent, and great time with Mammaw.

View Full Album

In Just 5 Days

2010-05-21T10:49:00.001-05:00

In just 5 days, my body has adjusted quite well to this clean eating. Remember, when I say clean, I mean mostly organic foods, no refined flour, limited sugar, and no processed foods. I still have my decaf coffee with milk (although I’ve also been drinking caffeine free tea). I’ve actually been doing really well, which surprises me. I’ve packed my lunch and snacks for the week, and stayed away from the sweets and junk at school.

That is until yesterday. Wednesday evening was a rough night for us. Cayden woke up around 2 am with a fever of over 101. He doesn’t tolerate fever well – cries, thrashes, and just wants to be held. Making for a very long night. Thursday was the last day of school for Noah’s Ark. When I woke up, I put on my clothes, brushed my teeth, gathered up Hannah and my stuff, and headed out the door. I did remember to grab breakfast and some fruit, but I completely forgot about lunch.

When I arrived at school, I decided that I would partake in our final Pizza Day on campus. No more Pizza Day next year as the rules for food change with the licensing of the facility. I got myself 2 pieces of cheese pizza.

It was Splash Day – so fun and yet so crazy – we took the kids outside, with their water stuff and their lunches – we were going to have a picnic.

Somehow, I lost my fruit. So I ate the two pieces of pizza and then had a tiny piece (and I mean tiny) of cake leftover from the PreK Celebration.

Within 30 minutes, I felt like I was going to die. My body reacted in a way to the food I ate like it has never before. It was so angry at me. Let me tell you – lesson learned. No more junk for me. I don’t ever want to feel like that again. EVER.

Which takes me to my case in point – I’ve felt amazing this week. I’ve had more energy, I’m sleeping better, and I have less anxiety and just a better mood. Coincidence? I think not. I really do believe in what I’ve been reading. If I hadn’t, yesterday convinced me.

So without further ado, I am going to make myself share these recipes with you. Of course, only the ones we’ve tried. I’ve got a couple more to make this week, but a few involve one more trip to the grocery store for a few items.

Lunches -

baby spinach with avocado, pomegranate, and sunflower seeds (serves 6-8 as a side salad) – okay, I have to admit with this one, we didn’t have the pomegranate. I just couldn’t find this fruit anywhere. Maybe I’m not looking in the right places, or maybe it’s not in season. Regardless, the pomegranate was omitted from my ingredients.

1/2 t grated orange zest
1/4 cup fresh orange juice
1/2 t grated lime zest
2 T fresh lime juice
1 large shallot, quartered
1 T extra virgin olive oil
1/4 t chili powder
1/4 t salt
1/4 t ground black pepper
1 pomegranate
10 ounces baby spinach lives, cleaned and patted dry
2 T sunflower seeds, toasted
1 avocado

In a blender, combine the orange zest and juice, lime zest and juice, shallot, olive oil, chili powder, salt, and pepper. Blend until smooth. Set aside.
Fill a large bowl with cold water. Cut the pomegranate in half through the tem. Hold on pomegranate half under the water and remove the seeds with your hands. Drain the seeds well, discarding the membrane. Set aside 3/4 cup. Reserve the rest for another use.
In a large bowl, combine the spinach, all but 2 T of the pomegranate seeds, the sunflower seed, and about 1/4 cup of the dressing. Toss gently to coat. Transfer the salad to a platter or individual plates.
Pit and Peel the avocado and slice it thinly. Arrange the avocado slices on top of the salad. Sprinkle the reserved pomegranate seeds on top. Drizzle with the reserved dressing and serve.

Calories: 136.7, Fat: 8.6 g, Protein: 2.9 g, Carbs: 15.5 g, Sodium: 159.2 mg

Health Benefits: Anti-Cancer, Heart Healthy, Boosts Immunity, Improves Digestion, Healthy Skin, Boosts Metabolism, Anti-Inflammatory

tomato, avocado, and cheddar burrito (serves 4) – We didn’t have any tortillas so I improvised with this one and just ate a salad. Instead of the tortilla, I had 2 cups of romaine lettuce and spinach.

4 (10-inch) whole-wheat tortillas
3 plum tomatoes, cored and thinly sliced
4 T thinly sliced red onion
1 ounce low-fat Cheddar cheese, grated (about 1 cup)
1 firm, ripe avocado, pitted, peeled, and thinly sliced
Freshly ground black pepper to taste
8 large basil leaves
4 cups shredded romaine lettuce

Position a rack 4 inches below the broiler and heat the broiler to high. Alternatively, have ready a cast-iron griddle or other heavy bottomed pan and when ready to cook, heat it over medium-high heat.
Lay the tortillas on the work surface. Arrange the tomatoes in a straight light down the center of each tortilla, slightly overlapping them and dividing them equally among the 4 tortillas. Diver the onion among the tortillas, evenly spreading it down each row of tomatoes. Sprinkle the cheese on top of each.
Carefully slide one tortilla onto a rimless baking sheet and place under the broiler until the cheese is melted and bubbling, about 1 minute. Or transfer 1-2 tortillas to the griddle and heat until the cheese is melted a bubbling, about 2 minutes.
Slide the warmed tortilla onto a plate. Repeat with the remaining tortillas.
Meanwhile, top the warmed cheese with 1/4 of the avocado slices. Grind a little black pepper on top, if desired. Tear 2 basil leaves into small pieces and sprinkle over the vegetables. Tops with 1 cup of lettuce and roll up the burrito into a tight cylinder. Repeat with remaining burritos.
Slice each burrito in half and serve.

Calories: 260.5, Fat: 11.8 g, Protein: 8.3 g, Carbs: 31.3 g, Sodium: 223.7 mg

Health Benefits: Anti-Cancer, Heart Healthy, Boosts Metabolism, Healthy Skin

Dinners – we had to vary from our original menu. Halibut is $19.99/lb and I just wasn’t paying that much. I’ll check Central Market next time. I’ve also been told I can substitute Pacific Cod for Halibut and it will be just as good.

almond-crusted chicken breasts (serves 4)

1/2 cup unsalted almonds, toasted
2 T extra-virgin olive oil
3/4 t grated lemon zest
3/4 t dried rosemary
1 garlic clove
1/4 t salt
4 (4-5 ouce) boneless, skinless chicken breast halves

Preheat the oven to 425.
In the work bowl of a food processor, place the almonds, olive oil, lemon zest and juice, rosemary, garlic, and salt. Process until coarsely chopped; the mixture will be a thick paste.
Arrange the chicken breast halves in a baking dish. Divide the almond paste and spread on the breasts; pat down to cover each breast completely.
Roast in the oven until cooked through and an instant-read thermometer reads 165-170, about 10 minutes. Loosely tent with foil and let stand for 5-10 minutes before serving.

Calories: 293.3, Fat: 17.4 g, Protein: 30 g, Carbs: 4.2 g, Sodium: 194.2 mg

Health Benefits: Anti-Cancer, Heart Healthy, Boosts Immunity, Improves Digestion, Boosts Metabolism, Improves Mood

grilled skirt steak with chimichurri sauce (serves 4) – This is the one dish my children asked for more of. Soooo good! Sooo easy!

1/4 cup chopped red onion
3 garlic cloves
1/2 t crushed red pepper flakes
1/2 cup packed flat-leaf parsley leaves
2 T packed fresh oregano leaves
1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
2 T red-wine vinegar
1/4 t salt
1/2 t black pepper
1 lb. skirt steak
Olive oil spray, for the grill

In the work bowl of a food processor, place the onion, garlic, and red pepper flakes. Pulse until finely chopped. Add the parsley and oregano leaves, and pulse until the herbs are coarsely chopped. Add the olive oil, vinegar, and salt and pepper.
Place the skirt steak in a shallow pan and pour 1/3 cup of the chimichurri sauce over it. Turn to coat well. Cover and refrigerate, preferably for at least 4 hours and up to overnight. Cover and refrigerate remaining sauce.
If using a gas or charcoal grill, spray the grill with olive oil and prepare a medium-hot grill. If using a grill pan, spray it will olive oil and heave over medium-high heat.
Grill the steak for 4-5 minutes per side for medium-rare (yuck – we cook medium here). Let stand on a cutting board for 5-10 minutes. Thinly slice the stead and divide among four plates. Top each serving with 1 generous teaspoon of chimichurri sauce and serve.

Calories: 339.2, Fat: 25.1 g, Protein: 24.3 g, Carbs: 2.9 g, Sodium: 193.2 mg

Health Benefits: Anti-Cancer Heart Healthy, Boosts Immunity, Boosts Metabolism, Improves Digestion

I know I’m missing a few and I’ll get them posted soon. That’s just a lot of typing which equals a lot of time I could be doing something else. LOL

Master Your Metabolism Week 1

2010-05-19T17:38:00.001-05:00

It’s been nearly a week since my family started eating meals from the Master Your Metabolism Cookbook by Jillian Michaels. Okay, I must admit that I have been cooking our dinners from this book, and my breakfasts and lunches. Lunches have been salads. Hannah has been sick so she’s not eating much and Cayden prefers to eat healthy chicken nuggets then sit down and eat a salad. Add into the mix that we inherited a bunch of food from a friend who was moving away, and it’s just been small changes that have been made.

And I would be lying to say that I haven’t cheated here and there. I know, not exactly the best thing for my body. I’m sure I’m confusing the heck out of it, but as long as there is ice cream in the house (and that won’t be for much longer), it is very difficult for me to say no. On the plus side, coffee and sodas have been close to eliminated from my diet and caffeine has been completely removed!

Now, on to the meals. I said that I would post the recipes after we tried them. One has been a total hit. I’m pretty sure that tonight’s will be as well. The breakfast muffins are a hit with the adults. The kids don’t really care for them – more because they are crumbly, that the fact that they don’t taste good. I think they are so good, and Stephen agrees. And one meal was a hit with myself, Stephen thought it was okay, and the kids didn’t care for it at all. But, they ate it because that’s the rule.

I’m still learning how to food fresh veggies. I completely got the asparagus right but the green beans wrong. And no one liked them (the green beans). We love asparagus in this household.

Here’s the thing about eating “clean.” Jillian Michaels wants you to eat all organic. We just cannot afford that in this house, but I am making it a rule that our meat, milk, and eggs must be organic. And then when the organic stuff is on sale, we buy organic. We’re going to hit the farmer’s market next grocery day. I’ve never been. Looking forward to that trip.

The nice thing about these meals is that they only take 30 minutes to prepare. Sure, some of them involve marinade, but other than that, it takes minutes to get them one the table. A must for my household. With two school age children, I do not have the time or energy to spend hours in the kitchen.

Okay, like I said, on to the meals. So far I’ve only made one muffin recipe. It makes 12 and since I’m the only one eating them (the kids are eating eggs for breakfast), they are lasting longer than I anticipated. For breakfast, I have two muffins – mainly to help me get through the morning. But the energy they give me is wonderful.

I don’t have time to type up every recipe at the moment, but I wanted to share the muffin recipe. Enjoy!

oatmeal chocolate chip muffins

Olive oil spray for the tin
1 1/2 cups white whole-wheat flour (this is whole wheat pastry flour – took me a while to figure that one out)
1 cup rolled oats (not instant)
1 TBS aluminum-free baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 cup coconut milk
1/3 cup honey
1/4 cup olive oil
1 large egg (room temperature)
Zest of 1 orange
1 cup finely chopped walnuts (toasted by you)
1/2 cup 70% cocoa chocolate chips.

Place an oven rack in the center of the oven, then preheat the oven to 425 degrees F. Lightly spray a 12-cup muffin tin with olive oil or line it with paper liners.
In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, oats, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon.
In another bowl, whisk together the coconut milk, honey, olive oil, egg, and orange zest. Add the liquid ingredients to the dry ingredients and stir just until moistened. Fold in the walnuts and chocolate chips.
Spoon the mixture into the prepared muffin tin. Place the tin in the oven and reduce the temperature to 400 degrees F. Bake until a toothpick inserted into the center of a muffin comes out clean, 18-20 minutes. Let stand 5 minutes before unmolding onto a cooling rack. Serve warm. (For longer storage, let cool completely and store in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 3 days or in the freezer for up to 2 months.

Makes 12 servings. Calories: 280.9, Fat: 16.5 g, Protein: 5.7 g, Carbs: 31.3 g, Sodium 279.0 mg

Mastering My Metabolism – Menu for the Week

2010-05-15T18:47:00.002-05:00

I’m a huge fan of Jillian Michaels. I know that Bob is the “sweet” trainer on the Biggest Loser, but Jillian fascinates me. 6 months ago, I read her book, Master Your Metabolism. I checked it out from the library, but I hadn’t purchased it because it’s $30 ($25 on Amazon and that’s because of shipping). The other day while at Costco, I noticed that they had not only this book, but also the cookbook. Both for $14 each. I grabbed them. And I read through the entire cookbook yesterday (including the refresher regarding the science behind the book and hormones we all have/produce). The gist of the book/theory is that our bodies all produce 12 different hormones and because of the environment or the foods we eat, many of our hormones are out of balance, causing us to gain weight and be miserable. The key is to find a way to rebalance the hormones naturally so our bodies can become “energetic, thriving, fat-burning machines.”
Her cookbook includes recipes that are clean, whole and balanced that are not only appealing to the eyes but also quick and easy to make. Here is what we are having this week (recipes not included – once we’ve tried them, I will share them, but until then, you must wait).
Breakfasts – These are always quick for us – The kids and I usually eat the same thing. I have no idea what Stephen eats. We are gone before he has breakfast. I think it’s cereal, but I could be wrong. As for the children and myself, I’ve been making muffins (not from scratch), but I’m so excited that she has three different recipes that I can make and we can eat! Gotta love something you can bake ahead of time and freeze for later consumption.

Blueberry Banana Muffins
Pumpkin Cranberry Muffins
Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Muffins

Lunches are usually fairly simple. Hannah eats at school (AISD has a great lunch menu), Cayden (2 days a week, the other two we eat at home) takes a Hebrew National hot dog, oranges, and cheese to school with him, and I usually make (two days a week) a turkey and cheese sandwich, carrots, and fruit. Sometimes I have iced tea, sometimes a soda (I know) and sometimes water. This week, I am planning on eating some of Jillian’s recipes for lunch or take leftovers.

Tomato, Avocado, and Cheddar Burrito

Dinners will be something from her book each day. We might have leftovers one day, but it will be from what I’ve cooked previously (hence leftovers LOL). What I LOVE is that many of her recipes are something my children will eat (they are great eaters) but also do not contain tomatoes. You’d think after 4 years, I’d be used to cooking without them, but many of my favorite recipes have tomato in them. Here’s to trying something new and liking it!!

Grilled Skirt Steak with Chimichurri Sauce and Asparagus
Thai Green Curry Halibut and Green Beans
Almond-Crusted Chicken Breasts and No-Cream Creamed Spinach
Broiled Tilapia with Fresh Herbs, Mushrooms (and Tomatoes) and Baby Spinach with Avocado, Pomegranate, and Sunflower Seeds
Pecan Crusted Catfish with Cranberry Maple Compote

I’m also going to make a few snacks from the book (which can be saved for all week)

Cheddar and Apple Slices with Cinnamon
Trail Mix
Roasted Russet Fries
Spiced Roasted Almonds
Almond-Chocolate Blondie

I’m a little nervous about my grocery list and price, but I’m sure we’ll be fine. I checked prices already at a few stores, and I’m pretty sure we’ll be within budget. We’ll probably also throw some things together from the pantry and freezer and try to make it through two weeks. But if we don’t, we’ll be fine. Remember, no eating out so our dollar goes further!
I’m also praying that these changes will help me with the sleeping issues and anxiety issues I’ve been having. It’s been a tough week for me and I can’t figure out why. I think I’m burned out. And as much as I’m going to miss those little honeys, my last week of school has finally arrived!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hannah’s dance recital is Saturday. Excited about that. She auditions for the talent show on Monday. She’s going to do part of her recital dance. She’s so cute!
Cayden and I , along with Ryan, Chase, Aunt Stephie, and Uncle Daniel, had the opportunity to see a sneak peek of Shrek Forever After. The look on Ryan’s face when he realized we were really going to see Shrek before it comes out on May 21st was worth the wait in the line and sitting in the third row. It was really cute – as good as the 1st one – and Cayden’s 3rd movie (not counting the summer ones that are jam packed with kids and talked through the entire time). He did really well, especially since he sat in the middle of Chase and Ryan and nowhere near me. It was almost like I went to the movie as a grown up, only having to lean over and tell him to not talk a couple times. He was so excited and interacted with the movie the whole time. Cracked me up.
We are home from IKEA on a Saturday. Very stressful for me, but worth the trip. We are inheriting a 36” TV from Daniel and Stephanie (worked out a trade) and our current entertainment center only holds a 27”. So for a little bit of $$ we were able to get a nice replacement. I think Stephen is just as excited about replacing the old 25” we have currently as he would be if we had bought a flat-screen (okay, not really, but at least he’s not chopping at the bit to go and buy something we can’t afford). We are still living in the dark ages, but we’re going to do so at with a bigger screen.
That’s life as we know it and a few more piences of me.

Move Over Miley Cyrus, YOU are a terrible influence

2010-05-12T17:40:00.002-05:00

Hannah Montana. My sweet 6 year old has been infatuated with this TV personality since she was 4. 2 years of listening to her music, watching her TV show. 2 birthday parties, 2 movies, 2 CDs and tons of Hannah Montana paraphernalia.
I admit it, Hannah Montana is cute. Annoying, but cute. I enjoyed watching the TV Show with Hannah and know all the words to all her songs (due to listening to her in the car).
I am sad to see the Hannah Montana world come to a close. Just like Lizzie McGuire, these TV Personalities must grow up and move on. I get that. What I don’t understand is these TV Stars who have millions of little Mini Me’s (the average age of a girl at a Hannah Montana concert is 8-9) running around imitating them who then turn around and become the exact opposite of who they have portrayed for the past 2-4 years.
I’m so happy that Hannah only knows that Miley Cyrus plays the part of Hannah Montana. She hasn’t realized that there are Miley Cyrus songs and CDs. Ok, she knows the song, “Party in the USA,” because I like to sing it. It’s a fun song.
But I’m disappointed. Really? Has your life really come to this? Your music? Your personality? First of all, you’re not the first. You see, when I was in High School, there was this show called the New Mickey Mouse Club. From this show came the Boy Band, NSync which Justin Timberlake was a part of, several pop artists, including Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears (BTDT, Miley), and the actress Keri Russell. Of those names, I only have the upmost respect for Keri Russell. She is one person who did not take her influence on little girls and turn into trash. Sorry, I call it like I see it, and what Miley Cyrus (and the aforementioned artists) is doing is pure trash.
And I’m angry. Unfortunately, I will have to break my daughter’s heart and tell her that we won’t be buying any Miley Cyrus CDs or supporting her on Disney (after this summer). And now, I will have to sit and watch every single episode shown with her in fear that they will play this smut during the commercial breaks.
Here’s the trash

At least I still have Taylor Swift, right? And Hannah knows the words to nearly every song! :)

Behind on Blogging, but Not on Life

2010-05-11T21:12:00.001-05:00

Wow! It’s been over a week since I blogged. In fact, the last time I sat down to work on the computer has been for work or more work (photography). I’m excited that I’m doing so well with the photography. I’m learning what type of photographer I am. I’m a relational photographer. If you want a photographer who not only takes photos of you and your family, but also want someone you will continue to have a relationship with, then I’m your girl. I am loving the friendships that I’ve made from continually photographing the same families. In fact, just this weekend I was able to photograph a beautiful newborn and her family – one of my very first customers. Mom was pregnant when I took their photos in November/December, and now, they have a newborn! I’m honored they contacted me to shoot this darling little girl. I will share more as I am given the go ahead. So there’s my little plug – I’ve ventured out into the world of photography. I’m continuing to build my skill. I’m continuing to learn. And I’m eager to begin taking classes at ACC towards an Associates of Arts in Photography. I’m excited about this new journey.

Of course, this new journey will be one class at a time. One semester at a time. It will probably take me forever, but I will learn more and more along the way. I’m stoked.

And along with this journey, I continue my personal weight loss journey. How ironic that I’m watching the Biggest Loser right now as I type this. What an inspirational show. I have to admit it, I have a HUGE crush on Darius – don’t worry, Stephen, he’s a little young for me, but I hope takes it all.

Back to my personal journey. It’s just that. And it’s a long journey. And in a few more weeks, my workout buddy will be ready to kick my butt. But right now, I’m loving all the baby love I get from her little new born, Ella Mae.

What did we do last week? I’m actually 2 weeks off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hannah participated in her 1st Piano Recital, playing Silver Skates. She did a fantastic job, stumbling in the beginning, but finding her place and making everyone who was there to see her play proud as can be. Hannah’s 1st grade teacher made it out to the recital. That made Hannah’s night! I can tell you!

Hannah at the piano

Hannah and Ms. Martha – the world’s best piano teacher

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back in April, Hannah begged me to nominate her teacher, Mrs. Branch, for the Krispy Kreme Teacher of the Year Award. And so I did. I wrote a 250+ word essay explaining why I believe Mrs. Branch should receive this award. We got the news that Mrs. Branch was awarded 2nd Runner Up in the contest of all teachers across the Austin Area. We were pretty excited and proud about this moment. And Mrs. Branch couldn’t have been more surprised!

She was the only elementary school teacher to receive the award and amongst two middle school teachers. Mrs. Branch received a goody bag of items from Krispy Kreme as well as a cash prize.

And of course, she was able to enjoy a Krispy Kreme Donut!

Thank you Mrs. Branch. You have made 1st Grade an amazing year. We are blessed!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then I celebrated the upcoming birth of a sweet friend’s baby girl. Jennifer and I gave Cindy a small Baby Shower on Friday. It was lots of fun. Cindy was able to relax and spend time with some ladies who love her very much. I’m glad she enjoyed herself. I love you Cindy! And again, an AMAZING cake by our good friend and cake lady, Cindy Hunter! Let me know if you want her contact information.

There will be another blog coming soon. . . . one about Mommies, Carnivals, and Allergy Testing.

But for now, my head is saying, sleep.

Look, Mom! No cavities!! But I still have allergies.

2010-05-03T17:52:00.001-05:00

My children had a visit to the dentist this afternoon. Their appointments went well. We’ve been working really hard on brushing and flossing ~~twice~~ at least once a day and using Smart Rinse regularly. I think I’m actually going to schedule in to brush their teeth and set a reminder. I don’t know what it’s so hard for me to remember to brush their teeth. I remember to brush mine. So frustrating! Regardless, we will be focusing on brushing teeth and keeping them healthy. It was so nice to go into the dentist office and leave knowing that my kiddos have healthy teeth and gums.

Hannah still has the cavities she had before, but we are working on not getting any new ones (and have finally scheduled the last of the treatment for the previous ones).

Cayden has “perfect teeth.” He was such a big boy today. Not just a cleaning, but also x-Rays. 3 out of 4 x-Rays isn’t bad for a little guy whose mouth is so small that at age 4 we have already been told to prepare for braces.

Of course, braces are something that are inevitable for both my children. Stephen and I both not only had braces, but also had teeth pulled in the process. And they both have inherited our small mouths. And Hannah’s treatment will start this summer. Now I just need to find an orthodontist and new general dentist (for everyone but Cayden) since she has reached the age limit that our insurance covers for a pediatric dentist. I’m super sad about this because Dr. Raymond has been amazing, but he will continue to see Cayden so hopefully at least one of my children will be cavity free for their childhood.

And although we are losing a dentist, we have incredible insurance so treatment and braces are not going to break our bank. This is wonderful news since to this day I can hear my mom tell me about how much my beautiful teeth cost her.

Now that I know my children have healthy teeth, I can start to focus on what caused Cayden to have a terrible allergic reaction last week.

We visited the allergist this afternoon. Dr. G. has narrowed his reaction down to a few possibilities:

Grass
Trees (Pecan)
Strawberries

I am really shocked at the strawberry suggestion, but since Cayden was allergic to strawberries until he was 2, Dr. G seems to think that they have resurfaced. And the only reason she thinks that is because 30 minutes prior to his reaction, he had eaten some strawberries. And we haven’t had any in our house (because I haven’t made it to the store to buy them) since. I don’t know how much I believe in this theory but next week, we shall find out. My sweet boy will be tested for 19 environmental, 7 foods, and 2 fresh foods (strawberries and tomato). Of course, as we entered the doctor’s office, he had this request for the nurse today, “No shots, please! I got two and two (two in each arm) for my birthday.” They thought he was darling and informed him that this time no shots, but next time, there will be some pricks (and stickers to go along with them). He seemed okay.

So much for commitment

2010-05-01T12:21:00.001-05:00

Well, my commitment for not eating out ended yesterday. And has restarted today. I’m angry with myself for giving in to temptation, but I’m cutting myself some slack because I’ve been sick. Yesterday was a busy end to a busy week. I made it all week without picking up fast food. I’m angry that I allowed myself to be talked into eating out, but what’s done is done. I haven’t even gotten on the scale this week at home. I went to the doctor yesterday morning and I had stayed the same. I may check tomorrow, but today I’m just trying to get through the day.

This week we had the church picnic on Sunday. Pretty easy to stick with the program and commitment. We eat yummy homemade fried catfish, fruit, veggies, and a little dessert. I didn’t over eat; I made good choices. All while my sweet boy was having a horrible allergic reaction to something in the air. After lunch, we headed home, bathed him, and gave him Zyrtec (generic). He responded well and has been fine every since.

Monday was Hannah’s field trip to the Dinosaur Park. Fun place. We packed our lunches and water and headed to explore the brave unknown world of dinosaurs. Fun day. We also got our A/C fixed and shopped for Cayden’s birthday party. Hot Dogs for dinner. Hebrew National, of course, the only kind of hot dogs, I eat. LOL

Tuesday was a long day for us. Cayden’s 4th Birthday, the Noah’s Ark Spring Program and Carnival (which I am the director of), and then Cayden’s Birthday Party. Not going to go into the crazy insane time we had at the party as far as preparation and things at the location, but the kids had a great time and the party was a success. Hot dogs, again, chips, veggies, and hummus as well as cake. Did I mention that there was no cake left after the party? Hallelujah!!

Carnival Train

Cayden’s Birthday Party

Wednesday was a bit slower for us. Thursday, too. Hannah and I came down with a cold of some sort and stayed home. Mine turned into bronchitis. After a trip to the doctor yesterday morning, I am on meds and the road to recovery. Of course, yesterday was also the Popcorn Party for Box Tops at Hannah’s School, Dance Recital Photos, and Hannah’s Piano Recital. Photos of those events to come, but with my not feeling well, and having to run from place to place, we had dinner at Red Lobster. Hannah and I split shrimp and crab legs, asparagus, and salad. So at least it was healthy, right?

My recommitment starts today. Menus to be planned and groceries to be bought – of course, that’s after celebrating Grandma’s birthday this afternoon at her house.

The Joys of Home Ownership and Home Cooked Meals

2010-04-24T10:28:00.003-05:00

In the past month, we have experienced the joys of owning our own home.

Our fence is falling down (again)
Our lawn continually needs to be mowed (and weeded), and I broke the lawn mower
Our refrigerator died, and with the help of my loving sister, we were able to replace it
Our a/c condenser stopped working, and with the help of a good friend, we were able to diagnose and will hopefully get it running again today!

Of course, we are so blessed to have people in our lives to help us when we need it. But this has taught us that we cannot continue to live paycheck to paycheck. We have made poor choices with our finances and are continuing to struggle. Last week, I made a commitment (and talked to Stephen about it) and things are now going to change.
For one, we are not eating out for 30 days. That alone will help us build our emergency fund again. It’s been a while since we’ve had one, but we’re going to get it back into play so that we are able to take care of ourselves when crises arise. Once that fund is in place, we will start to aggressively pay off our debt and become debt free. We are going to live by Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University again – no questions asked. We are making this a part of our life.
Of course, last night was a little stressful not knowing what was wrong with the A/C. Usually we would just stress out, go out, and eat away our sorrows. Not last night. My mom offered to come and take the kids so we accepted and then worked out a plan of action. Nothing could be done until our friend called us back so it was silly to freak out. I did eat a package of Pretzel M&Ms (I got my free sample in the mail and yummo!) but because I had stuck to my meal plan all week, I had extra points I could eat. It was nice.
I made it through an entire week without taking a trip to Sonic. I had 1/2 coke on Thursday at school when my headache became so unbearable that I needed some caffeine. Coffee was a luxury this week, too. I’m proud of myself because I made a commitment and have thus far stuck to it. Isn’t that what a commitment is anyway? So I will continue to stick with this plan – it’s working – I just pack the kids snacks and water, pack myself snacks and water, and eat at home.
Dinners this week were very good and very big. I only cooked twice – I made enchiladas and pot pie, and we ate leftovers the other days. And it was okay. They loved the pot pie, and I loved the enchiladas. We still have a couple meals left for the week since I didn’t have to cook them all. Both the above meals feed 8 or more (well my kids don’t eat a lot). We didn’t have a single chicken nugget in our house this week (my kids were treated to Chick Fil A by my mom last night) and they are both asking for water over anything else to drink.
So although I’ve yet to watch Jamie Olliver’s Food Revolution, I’ve heard enough about it to realize that America is making our kids fat. We are doing this to ourselves and our children. I am doing this to myself and my children. And it has to stop. It’s just not okay to eat the way we were eating. I’ve always prided myself that my kids will eat whatever is put in front of them, meaning they have a great palate. They will eat something they’ve never had before. A friend and I were talking about how our kiddos will not just eat the “American” option of school lunch. Hannah chooses tacos over a hamburger or enchiladas over chicken fingers. But my children will also eat EZ Mac or Chicken Nuggets all day every day if I let them. They are kids. I’m happy to say that it’s time to teach them not only why it’s important to have a variety of colors on our plates, but also what will happen if we don’t eat that way. It’s unhealthy, it will make us sick, and our bodies will suffer if we don’t eat the right foods.
I’m not so concerned about getting my children to worry about becoming fat. They are too young to start with body image. I am teaching them that when they make wise food choices, they have more energy and more brain power. Forget obesity with my children. I don’t need my 6 year old worrying about her weight. She’s at a healthy weight so I’m not going to worry about that part, but you and I both know that eating healthy food in healthy portions = healthy children. There’s no need to worry because eating right means living well.
Oh and for those following my weight loss journey, I’m down 2 lbs this week for a total of 5.

God Made the World and Everything in It.

2010-04-22T17:08:00.003-05:00

On April 22 1970, Earth Day marked the beginning of the modern environmental movement. Approximately 20 million Americans participated. Thousands of colleges and universities organized protests against the deterioration of the environment. Groups that had been fighting against oil spills, polluting factories and power plants, raw sewage, toxic dumps, pesticides, Freeway and expressway revolts, the loss of wilderness, and the extinction of wildlife suddenly realized they shared common values. (Wikipedia)

Today is Earth Day. I can’t believe it’s been around since 1970. 40 years! I’m kind of in shock over that. It wasn’t until recently that the entire world began to participate in this day. And it’s amazing the things that are going on today – lots of recycling, lots of special events. If you take 5 plastic bags to your local HEB in Austin, Texas between the hours of 3 and 7 pm, you will receive a special reusable bag. There was an “Earth Day Festival” in Austin yesterday. Today more than 50 local businesses are donating 5% of their gross sales to certain non-profits. It’s a big day for the earth.
But as much as we are busy recycling and picking up trash. As much as we are making better choices and choosing to purchase more organic food and use few chemicals, sometimes I worry about people’s reasoning. Are they really doing all this to save the earth? And why exactly? Hannah came home from school today and let me know it was Earth Day. How I wish she could have heard what I was able to share with my class today.
You see, Earth Day, isn’t just about caring for the earth. It’s such an important day because it’s a day that we can remind everyone that “GOD created the heavens and the earth” Genesis 1:1. We shouldn’t take care of the world because WE want to preserve it. We should take care of it because the LORD gave this beautiful planet to us. He created everything in it.
There’s a song we sing in Preschool that I made sure to sing in my class today:

God made the world and everything in it.God made the land and the seven seas. God made the world and everything in it. God made the world and God made me.

And He did. He made this world that we live in and so therefore we should do our best to take care of what He has given us. And we should continue to do so every day, not just on the day the world has set aside as “Earth Day.”
Here is an example of the art we made in our class today. Even 3 year olds can remember why we should celebrate Earth Day:

Body Detoxing

2010-04-21T08:19:00.002-05:00

Now don’t get me wrong and think that I’m going to the extreme of one of those insane cleanses. I’ve had friends who have gone to real extremes to lose weight. One of those extremes is called the Master Cleanse, or the Lemonade Diet. For 10 days, you drink a laxative tea at night, a laxative solution 1st thing in the morning and then homemade lemonade throughout the day. Sounds like a lot of time in the bathroom to me. Painful and to be honest, STARVING. I know you get some nutrients from lemonade made with maple syrup, but there’s no protein in that cleanse, and it just seems like such an unhealthy way to lose weight. And water weight at that. Or muscle. You’re not losing fat, that’s for sure. And I just have no desire to put my body through something that extreme.
And then of course, there’s the surgery route. Don’t get me wrong, I am not knocking anyone who has had weight loss surgery. If you’ve had it, and are happy with it, and have really changed your lifestyle because of it, then, hooray. I do get frustrated when I read about people who have had the surgery and are disappointed in the results. They aren’t losing the weight “fast enough” for their taste or timing. And I think that’s nuts. I don’t think weight loss surgery is a quick weight loss fix. I’m fairly certain that it’s one of the last resorts and totally extreme for people who just need help. Have I thought about it? Yes. A lot, but I’m just not to the point where I think I need to go to that extreme. Have I been jealous of people who have had the surgery and look great now? Yes. But more because I haven’t committed to really losing weight and seen the results in myself.
This week was the start of a month long commitment for my family. We are committing to not eat out for 30 days. I want to show them how much healthy we can be when we cook our own food and know exactly what we are putting in our bodies. I also want to show them how much money we can save (or how much money we are wasting) when we don’t (are) eating out.
This week has been an eye opener for me, and we’re only on day 3. You see, each week, Hannah has piano twice a week. And usually on those days, I take the kids to McDonalds and buy a 3 pack of cookies and myself a soda. On Monday, I stuck to the commitment, and packed snacks for the kids from home. I packed strawberries, grapes, chocolate muffins, and juice. Then we stopped at Newflower to pick up the Quinoa Noodles we love and stopped at the bakery to allow each child to have the free cookie the bakery offers.
To my shock and surprise, neither kid ate their whole cookie. Hannah ate 1/2 of hers and Cayden took a few bites. And then they asked for fruit. At home this week, they have asked for apples, muffins, and yogurt. Now realize, my chocolate muffin is a box of brownie mix (next time I will try buying one w/0 HFCS) and 3 cups of All Bran (with also has HFCS, so frustrating) soaked in water. So it’s not a healthy snack, but it’s definitely better for you that chocolate chip cookies from McDonalds.
Anyway, point being that on Mondays, I get $40 from running errands with Martha, and usually by Wednesday I have about $25 left. Today, Wednesday, I still have $40. I haven’t been stopping to get those drinks/snacks. And no one is suffer.
But I digress. My body is really showing signs of detoxing from all the junk I’d been putting in it. Drinking mostly water now, except for an occasional cup of coffee (I didn’t have coffee Monday, but did have it Tuesday), my face is that of a kid in jr. high/high school, and it sucks. My hair is even acting weird. So much that I looked in the mirror at school yesterday and said, “What is up with my hair?” only to get the exact same response from a pre-k student, “Mrs. Rose, what is up with your hair?” My response, “G, you’re telling me. It’s CRAZY today.”
But what I haven’t had to deal with are the headaches I was worried about getting from withdrawal of the sugar/caffeine. Instead, I’m not getting a good night’s sleep and having terrible dreams. But I truly believe it’s from withdrawal. My body is detoxing.
I recently read an article in Women’s Health Magazine called, “A Cleanse That Isn’t Crazy.” And it confirms all of my worries and concerns about extreme cleanses. In fact this stood out most to me:

Today, most commercial detox diets tout an unhealthy formula of minimal calories and nutrients along with some key – usually foul-tasting – ingredient that has supposed fat-melting power, like cayenne pepper or vinegar. But no science backs up the idea that following a specific diet for a week or eating only one food will get rid of “toxins.” Your body has the power to do that all on its own: That’s why you have a liver, kidneys, and a digestive system.

And these diets aren’t on the market or regulated by the FDA.
But the article does go on to say that there is a healthier way to cleanse your body of all the junk we put in it. And what is that? Just follow a healthy eating plan. Most people eat way more than necessary which puts more pressure on the liver and kidneys. So to a healthy detox would be to cut out added sugar, saturated fats, and alcohol. And just by doing those things, your body will detox.
So now it all makes sense. I’m eating better – and only 3 days into this – and yet my body is craving the good stuff and purging the bad. What am I eating? Lean Protein, TONS of fruits and veggies, and yogurt – oh and my chocolate muffins. They are almost gone since the family is eating them. Today I will make some apple cinnamon ones :)

Watch My Tongue (or fingers)

2010-04-19T08:50:00.002-05:00

I’m a people pleaser. I want everyone to be happy and everyone to like me. Don’t get me wrong, I know there are people in this world who are just not happy, and there are people in this world who will never like me. I get that. I don’t necessarily like it, but I totally get it.
This part of my personality is a huge flaw in some ways. I’m a peacemaker. I try to keep the peace in my world. I don’t like to cause rifts, and if there is a rift, I want to fix it. Not always possible.
And when I can’t fix a rift, or when I learn that something I’ve said has caused another hurt, it crushes me. I never intentionally mean to hurt anyone. But more times than not, I open my mouth and say something that can literally knock the wind out of someone. And more times that not, I have no idea that I’ve done it.
I can’t apologize for who I am. God made me this way. He’s still molding me into the person He wants me to be. Believe me, I’m trying to listen to Him. Trying to allow Him to take me and mold me. I know sometimes I fight it, but at this point in my life, it’s hard to allow things to be erased. It’s hard to start over.
But I can ask Him to help me. Ask Him to guide my thoughts and words. I can live by Psalm 19:14, “”May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer,” and Ephesians 4:22-24, “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”
I know that some of the words in my last post have hurt a good friend. And that was not my intention at all. I had no idea that my words could be so cruel. I’m not going to go into detail, but judgment and hurt were not my reason for the previous post, and so I have removed any part that may be read in that light. I do not want my words to ever cause anyone pain. I want to speak the Truth in love. I know that my opinions are just that, my opinions, but if a few words can cause someone so much pain, I do not want them on my blog. I know I can’t just erase what was said and erase how it was taken, but please know, that I truly love and accept everyone – past, present, and future. There is nothing you can do to change me. That’s who I am. I don’t see the past as something that stops me from forming relationships. I don’t see the present as a time to put off friendships, and I look forward to the future where I can share my life with others. For me, acceptance of others isn’t difficult. It’s just my nature.

World’s Worst Parents

2010-04-18T17:23:00.004-05:00

I know everyone has seen that email about having the meanest mother. If not, you can click the link and read the note. There’s a lot of truth in it. My parents didn’t let me get away with much. We always had dinner with a vegetable. We had a bedtime and curfew (although never stated aloud, it was just understood).
Although my parents had rules about eating what she cooked and always letting her know where we would be (remember, this was before cell phones), she also gave us freedom.
My mom had very few TV rules. We were not allowed to watch The Simpsons. She thought it was gross and annoying, therefore, we did not have it on in our house. And you know what? To this day, I do not watch The Simpsons. I think they are annoying and gross.
She didn’t let us watch scary movies, mainly because I think they scared her. And to this day, I do not watch them. They freak me out and give me nightmares. Although my children are young, even when they are older, we will not watch scary movies in my house.
But my mom did allow me to watch The Dukes of Hazzard and The A-Team. She allowed me to watch movies like Pete’s Dragon, Bedknobs and Broomsticks, and Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang without blinking an eye. In fact, my dad took me to see E.T. when it came out in theaters. I couldn’t have been more than 4 years old. I watched Annie over and over again, and repeatedly watched The Sound of Music and Mary Poppins.
My parents also took us to church. Every Sunday. Sunday School, too.
Some of my parenting style is directly reflected upon my parents. I do some things the way they did, and other things the way they didn’t. I’m not criticizing them in any way. In fact, I’m thanking them. Thanking for them allowing me to decide if I didn’t like a movie. Thanking them for allowing me to voice my opinion and share my thoughts with others. Thanking them for taking me to church everyday and making sure I received the Christian foundation that I did. They kept their promise that they made on the day I was baptized. Dad, too.
I’m thankful that my parents didn’t think that viewing certain movie would waver my faith. I’m thankful that my parents really believed me when I told them the truth and trusted me to make good decisions. And because of their trust, I know for a fact that I am the person I am today. Of course, I didn’t want to disappoint my parents. When they trusted me to be home by 10 pm or midnight depending on the day, I wanted to prove to them that I was worthy of their trust.
My parents expected me to ask permission to do things. I never called home and said, “I’m doing such and such.” I expect the same thing from my children.
I allow my children to watch movies like Pete’s Dragon and Bedknobs and Broomsticks. Oh, and The Princess and the Frog. I’m not worried that Hannah and Cayden are going to start practicing witchcraft and voodoo. And one day, when they are told enough, I will allow them to watch Harry Potter and even read it. I do allow them to watch Wizards of Waverly Place and Hannah Montana. I don’t however allow them to watch The Simpsons, Spongebob, or Sonny with a Chance. Why? Because I think they are gross and totally inappropriate. I don’t find bathroom humor funny. I think it’s gross. Thanks, mom!!
I’m not worried about my kids faith. I am watching it blossom and grow. I will continue to nurture it. And trust in the Lord to keep my kids on the right path. I know with His help, they will grow up to be great people.

Eating At Home – Healthily Week 1

2010-04-18T11:44:00.001-05:00

So it’s not really week 1 in this weight loss adventure of mine. It’s more like week 200+, but I’m thinking that if I start to post my weekly menus, and blog about my journey, in a more public setting, not just on weight loss blogs, I might get to see the results I’ve been praying I’d see for the past couple years. It’s so hard for me to admit to everyone that I have not been 100% committed to this like I pretend I have been. So hard for me to admit this. When I joined WW in 2004, the plan was just so easy to me. I gave up soda, just like that and only drank water. I didn’t drink coffee, and now I’m addicted. I had a weekly Starbucks date with Crystal in which I would order a Grande Mocha Frappacino with no whipped cream (this was before the days of nonfat or light frapps). Starbucks, once a week, to chat about the ups and downs of the week.

And each week, I ate pretty much the same thing for breakfast and lunch, and then cooked dinner. EVERY NIGHT. For all the adults (as we were living with Mom and Dad McIntyre). And everyone ate better, everyone lost weight, and everyone was just healthier.

I dropped nearly 50 lbs in 10 months and was the healthiest and happiest I’d been in years. And everyone noticed.

And then we got pregnant with Cayden. And I thought it would be a breeze to go through a pregnancy and pick up where I left off. And then, I was sooo sick, and the only thing that helped was drinking Coca-Cola. So by the time Cayden was born, I had gained 50 lbs. And to this day, I have ~~yet to lose any of it.~~ done the yo-yo, on again, off again, lose 5 lbs, gain 5 lbs for the past 4 years. And I’m sooo tired of it. Cayden turns 4 next week. And I’m finally to the point where I can’t take it anymore. I’m tired of being fat. There. I said it.

So. . . taking things one week at a time. Weighed in this week at ______ (like I’d share that with you). I will share my weekly weigh ins (up 1 lb, down 3 lbs), etc. I’ll share my ups and downs with you. Have my weekly Starbucks chat, on the computer. Maybe I’ll treat myself to Starbucks and sneak away to the quiet of a coffeeshop once a week to have this conversation with myself (and whoever else is reading this blog).

You may get tired of me. Because when I have a bad day, I’ll let you know. When I have a great day, I’ll let you know. I need to do this. I need to turn somewhere other than to food to get through this journey.

First of all, we are not going to eat out at all this week. My personal goal is to have a 30 day fast from eating out. I don’t know how possible this is going to be since Mother’s Day and Aunt Becky’s visit is coming up and she wants to go to the Salt Lick. I may have to skip the Salt Lick and meet everyone at Lizzy’s for her birthday. If I’m going to do this. I really need to do it. 100% commitment, right?

As far as recipes are concerned. I have lots of FB friends who post amazing looking recipes online. Each week, I’ll go through their recipes and pick and choose the ones I think will be good for our family. And then, I will check out the recipes and make substitutions where I need to. I know that some may flop, but for the most part, I have really learned how to cook food without all the fat.

So here we go. Join me??

Here is this week’s menu:

Breakfasts – Breakfast Boats (w/ substitutions), Choco Fiber Muffins, Apple Bran Muffins

Lunches – Sandwiches or Salads: Whole Wheat, Turkey, Provolone Cheese, Spinach

Dinners – Crockpot Chicken Pot Pie (with substitutions and extra veggies), Pepperoni Penne (with Quinoa Pasta), Spicy Crusted Salmon Over Spinach, and Green Chile Enchiladas (you’ll have to scroll down). We will also have leftovers this week as these meals feed lots of people. I haven’t decided what order we will eat these in, but we will be eating these meals and only these meals. I’m so excited! And I’m thankful for all those who have been with me for this 1/2 ass (yes, I said ass) journey. Now I’m in 100%. I will be exercising on my own for 6 weeks, and then I will start running (in the hot, no doubt) with Lesle. She will be given the clear to exercise after having her beautiful baby girl, Ella Mae.

So there you have it. A new lifestyle, new outlook on life, and new friendships that are blossoming. I am so blessed.

Oh, and if you follow me, will you do it publicly? And will you leave comments?? I’d really appreciate it!

It’s Hip to Be Square

2010-04-16T11:13:00.002-05:00

Each week, Cayden has show and tell and school. For 23 weeks, we brought a letter to school. The last week, we chose between X, Y, and Z. After the alphabet, Cayden’s teachers moved on to shapes. Last week we had to take a circle show and tell. I have no idea what Cayden took because I stayed home on show and tell day. This week, our required item needed to be in the shape of a square.
Wednesday evening, I asked Cayden what he would like to take for show and tell. I told him it needed to be in the shape of a square. His response? “Paper is square.”
At this point, I took out a sheet of paper and said, “Cayden, this isn’t a square. What shape is this?” He responded, “It’s a rectangle.”
Okay, so I started going through things with him. Here is our conversation”
“Look Cayden, look at this book. It’s about Elmo. And it’s a square. Would you like to take this?”
“Paper is square.”
“Cayden, we already talked about that. Paper is a rectangle. Oooh, look at this. This is a box. Isn’t this cool? It’s a square. Would you like to take this?”
“Paper is square.”
At this point, I don’t even remind him that the paper is a rectangle, I just move on to another item. “Cayden how about this bolt. This bolt is square. Would you like to take this? Or this block? This block is square.”
“Paper is square.”
“Cayden, we have already gone over this. Paper is not a square. Paper is a rectangle.”
And then his reply, the one that made the decision for his show and tell, and shut me up, “You can cut it. You can make it into a square.”
So Cayden look a black sheet of paper that we cut into a square for show and tell. Why? Because the child who was insisting that paper is a square, finally made his mommy feel like a dingaling (not that I would EVER tell him that). He knows his shapes. And he wanted to take a piece of paper. It’s always the simplest things that make them happy, right?

See you in Heaven

2010-04-14T13:45:00.002-05:00

On our way home yesterday, we were listening to the new Lifeway VBS CD, Saddleridge Ranch. For a taste the music, click here to listen to the theme song. Since Cayden put change into our tape deck, every now and then, it becomes possessed and turns itself off. The ride home, during the middle of a song, it decided to do that. It was at that same moment, that Hannah began asking me questions about heaven. I can’t remember the how the conversation began, but I do recall us talking about when we die, what happens to us. And how do we go to heaven, when we get a grave. So I brought up the fact that when we do die, our body is buried, but our soul, the part of us that believes in Jesus, goes to heaven and gets a whole new body. Thjs fact is a little hard for me to grasp myself, so to explain it to a 4 and 6 year old is even more insane, but Hannah remembered the conversation between her and Grandma and went to explain it to Cayden. They are very excited about their new bodies, and cannot wait to meet people who once had to have wheel chairs but now have new legs, or people who were deaf, but can now here. They are also excited about being able to understand people who speak in Spanish. That’s just a little bit of heaven.
Then our conversation turned towards, to get to heaven, you have to know Jesus. It amazes me that Hannah really understands this. I know that last Christmas (2008), she told me that she “said the prayer the Pastor at Park Hills said” during the live nativity, but with myself not growing up with that type of spiritual background, it’s very hard for me to comprehend what that means. But I know that, although I’ve always been grounded in the church, there was some point in my life where it all clicked. Unfortunately, I don’t remember that moment, which is okay. But it is really neat to know the exact moment when it clicked for Hannah.
Our conversation then turned to knowing Jesus, and at this point, Cayden pops in, “You know, Jesus loves the little children. But his servants didn’t want the children to talk to him. In heaven, I will get to talk to him.” Of course, I interject that that was in the Bible and that Jesus did have the children come and talk to Him. And now, we can talk to Jesus when we pray, etc. Hannah and Cayden continue to have a conversation all about being Jesus’ friend and meeting Him in heaven. How neat that will be.
And then, Hannah and Cayden start to talk about who they will get to meet in heaven. Hannah tells me, “Mommy, when I get to heaven, I’ll get to meet Mary! And Hannah! And Samuel! And PapPap! And Granny and Grandaddy! I just can’t wait.”
At this point, I’m crying. Not only because my children love Jesus and that’s just awesome, but also because they are not only remembering the loved ones we’ve lost, but looking forward to seeing them again. And then the moment that completely makes me lose it, Cayden pipes in with, “And our two brothers! I will get to meet my brothers that are in heaven! And I will get to play with them, and it will be so fun!”
You see, many years ago, before Hannah, I had two miscarriages. Although we’ve never really talked about what these are with the children, we do have two ornaments for our tree in honor of them, and so each year, the kids see them and are reminded of them at Christmastime. And although we don’t talk about it or dwell on them, my children know they have siblings in heaven. And they love those siblings. So I guess they are right, we will see so many people in heaven. And it will be wonderful.

Insensitive? I promise I’m not

2010-04-13T20:08:00.002-05:00

Early this morning, I had someone accuse me of being insensitive. There were two situations today in which I laughed involuntarily. I didn’t purposely laugh. I didn’t even think the situations were funny, but before I could stop myself, I chuckled out loud (kind of like a blech, but a laugh) and then expressed my genuine sympathies to these situations.
Death is not funny to me. Cancer is not funny to me. Someone falling down and getting hurt is not funny to me. But for some reason, I laugh before I am sad. My sister is the exact same way. And she’s gotten called on it as well. She, too, feels awkward and embarrassed.
But today, I stuck up for myself. I sat the person down who just blurted out in front of a group of people, “laughing at tragedy? that’s totally inappropriate,” and explained to her why I do it. I guess I don’t really know why I do it, but I can’t help it. I’ve tried and it just happens.
But I promise I’m not insensitive. In fact, several people have told me I’m the most compassionate and caring person they know. And in certain situations, I do not laugh at all. Some situations are too shocking to even get a chuckle out of me.
Of course, being who I am, I have spoken to several others today who have said that lots of people react this way. And I even Googled it when I got home. And I’m not alone. Just apparently the only one in this group of ladies. :)
So there’s my dilemma. Take it or leave it, but please try to understand.

Favorites

2010-04-12T18:56:00.002-05:00

I have lots of favorites. My favorite colors are purple and yellow. My favorite food is peanut butter ice cream. My favorite soft drink is Cherry Coke. I have a favorite pair of jeans, a favorite shirt, even a favorite blanket.
There is an appropriate place for favorites. It is okay to have favorite things. It is not okay to have favorites kiddos in the classroom, or favorite people in your family.
I’ve teased and said, “spending time with my favorite people,” but in reality, those are just people to whom I am closest.
Sometimes it’s hard to not get upset when favoritism is shown. I try my hardest to not get upset. And I am teaching my children that there is a time and a place for favorites. Hannah has favorite colors – pink and yellow. Cayden has a pair of favorite pajamas – the ones with racecars. Both kids have their favorite blanket, their “baba” as they like to call them.
They do not however have favorite people – as far as I can tell. They love to play with everyone. They love do like to play with certain people, but whenever we are with a group of children, I notice that they tend to be the peacemaker, the ones who want everyone to play together, or play with children who are similar in gender or age. Regardless, they rarely leave people out. And that makes me a very proud parent.
I guess I need to look at my children and follow their example in this area. Instead of feeling sad because someone is showing favoritism over another, I should just take it with a grain of salt, and live life as the person who wants everyone to get along and no one to feel left out. I need the reminder that I don’t like everyone and so therefore not everyone is going to like me. I’m not going to be able to be friends with everyone, but I can be nice to those people, even those I do not like.
Of course, I suppose it all has to do with what happens to us as we get older. Being the adult who was left out as a child, I want my children to include everyone. And I want everyone to like my children as much as they like others. So I notice it more when it is happening.
And regardless, I have two favorite children, my own, but if they are ever being ugly to other people, I scold them. Respect is something I want my children to learn. I want it to become second nature. Maybe I’m asking too much of my children, but as far as I can tell, they are both happy and loving.
And I must give myself the gentle reminder in the book of James that favoritism is indeed a sin, and therefore requires forgiveness.
James 2:9 - But if you treat some people better than others, you have done wrong, and the Scriptures teach that you have sinned” (CEV).
James 2:1 - My brothers,show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory” (CEV).
And I am so thankful for His forgiveness, because although I try my best to not have “favorites,” I know that I fail. And so I am able to admit my mistake, ask for forgiveness, and receive it. And that’s a pretty amazing gift.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-04-07T11:24:00.002-05:00

Family Pictures

2010-04-06T16:19:00.002-05:00

You would think that as a photographer, I would be able to capture the beauty of my family in a photograph. Well, a decent photograph, that is. I’ve been known to take beautiful family photos of my clients. Some people have been so excited about their family photos, that I have received referral after referral from them, making my job as a photographer way easier than I thought it would be.
Since Stephen and I have been together, we have taken a “family photo” together. That is since Easter 1997. I still have that photo of us. We look like babies. I’m 19 years old. I had to take a picture of a picture since my scanner is acting funky.

I have an Easter photo from every year except last year, when I spent the year in Pennsylvania. They are usually under the tree at McKinney Falls. Sometimes, they are just at Beautiful Savior by the cross (the years when it has been raining or freezing on Easter). Some years, we do an entire family photo, some years, just our little family, but every year, we get a great photo of us. Here are the photos from Easter since Hannah entered our lives!

Until this year, that is. My children wouldn’t cooperate. They wouldn’t cooperate for wildflower photos earlier in the week, and they wouldn’t cooperate for our family photo. So this year, I leave you with three photos of my family.
I think I’m going to get a 20x30 of this photo and hang it in the living room.

This one is a little better. It’s actually the best one. The sun was a little bright, I guess, since both Stephen and Cayden are both squinting.
And lastly, this one. Stephen and I look great. I wish our kids were looking at the camera.
We didn’t get a photo of the cousins this year. We didn’t get any with extended family. I guess with all of us having our own fancy cameras, we weren’t too worried about shooting the pictures. Now I wish we had gotten one of those of us at the park. Or even the kids with Grandma and Grandpa. But we didn’t. Life goes on.
One more attempt at this family photo thing in the wildflowers this evening. Praying the weather holds out for us and my kids cooperate. I’d just like to get a new photo to hang in Grandma’s hallway. We shall see.

Elephants are extinct?

2010-04-05T15:39:00.002-05:00

Actual conversation between my children this afternoon -

Hannah: Cayden, do you want me to read you this book? It's about animals that are extinct.
Cayden: You don't need to read it. I know what animals are 'stinct.
Me: Right, animals like the dinosaurs. Ones that are no longer living. Hannah, what other animals are extinct?
Cayden: I know, I know
Hannah: I'm not sure. This book is about animals who are IN DANGER
Cayden: I know, I know
Hannah: What? What animals are extinct?
Cayden: Elephants
Hannah: No, elephants are NOT extinct
Cayden: Yes, yes they are
Hannah: No, they are not
Me: No, Cayden, there are still elephants, but some are endangered
Cayden: YES! Yes, elephants are. Elephants stink. Yes, they do!

The Joys of Cranky Children

2010-04-03T19:28:00.003-05:00

I am listening now. . . to the sounds of my children whining in the bathtub. Hannah just came into the living room to inform to us that her brother said his name was Mickey Mouse and then poured water on her. Really? They are in the bathtub?
But you know what? Sometimes it’s okay to hear listen to them whine. Why? Because at least at this very moment, I know they are whining from pure and utter exhaustion. They spent the entire day outside at McKinney Falls State Park. Stephen and I joined them at 1 pm after shopping for last minute Easter presents. Outside, away from computers, TVs, and cell phones. For a brief moment, I had gotten so “bored” that I pulled out my phone to play Bejeweled. And then Grandpa made a comment about all this nature and there we sit with our cell phones. Away went the cell phone and out came the conversation.
We reminisced, about past Easters at the park. We heard the story about how when Grandpa was younger, Granny never let the kids have water guns, and yet, when he had kids, she initiated the play. Reminisced a HUGE water fight between the entire family. Grandma provided the water guns this year for the grandchildren, and I think Grandpa had more fun with them than any other child.
Stephen and TJ shared with Barrett about the cheesy movies they used to watch and the jokes they used to tell. And it was so funny to watch Barrett roll his eyes and be a teenager!
I remember a tad too late that you’re supposed to reapply sunscreen. Praying tomorrow’s burn isn’t as bad as I think it is going to be. Thankfully, Hannah tans, and Cayden was in long clothes (since he sat in the water gun bucket. What is with my children and buckets of water?
Tomorrow we will celebrate the resurrection with my parents, hunt Easter eggs, and spend more time with family at the park. And again, although we’re living on Zyrtec, we’re having so much fun!

Shopping for a dress

2010-04-03T10:38:00.002-05:00

Hard to believe that the last time I bought a dress was last year. And I bought it not only for Crystal’s birthday, but also for my grandfather’s funeral. Knowing very well, that I would need something nice to wear. Before that, I hadn’t bought a dress since 2005. I was thinner then, and not so self conscious about my body. After having Cayden, I just haven’t had the courage to buy dresses and wear them. I know it’s terrible, but no matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to shake this weight. Doctor’s are aware of it. I’ve been told to try Weight Watchers again and have been given the clear to run again, so I am. I’m also spending a lot of time in prayer, trying to just let it all go and let God. It’s not always easy.
Being on the computer is something that I know has hindered in my journey, but lately, I don’t want to be on the computer, I want to be outside or reading a book. I turn on the computer to edit photos or share them. I’ve got to start working on school scrapbooks as the school year is quickly coming to a close and I’m nowhere near finished – yikes!
But I digress. I’m working on the weight loss. And yesterday, I went shopping with a close friend who brought me two dresses to try on. And I loved both of them and now have two Spring dresses in my closet. Of course, I hope they don’t fit next year and I am buying smaller sizes, but until then, here’s to feeling good about myself.

Reasons I Love Spring

2010-04-02T09:59:00.002-05:00

1. The warmer temperatures – I love that it’s so nice outside that my kids want to be out in it. All day. They are running off extra energy, taking in fresh air (even with the allergens), and staying away from the TV. It’s nice that I can just put the radio on, and they completely forget that we even have TV. I also love that Cayden will randomly turn the TV off and say, “TV for the day is over. Let’s go play outside!” In fact, even on this super windy morning, with the threat of rain, they are already outside!
2. It’s cool enough to open up the house. In spite of our families horrific allergies, I just cannot NOT open the house up. The breeze keeps the house cool without needing air conditioner, and the fresh air helps air out the stuffiness that takes place during the night/day while we’re sleeping/out. It’s been a Zyrtec every day Spring already, but just having the house open gives me a different outlook on life. It’s like I am experiencing the outside without having to be out there. I can still do daily chores without missing the beautiful weather.
3. The wildflowers. At least this year they are AMAZING. I just can’t get over them.

We did one round of photos in the bluebonnets already, but this weekend, we are planning our next round. This time, we will get photos of the whole family. I’m very excited!!

4. Daylight Savings Time – As much as I HATE adjusting to the time change, I absolutely LOVE it. I love having more daylight in the evenings – gives me time to do things like go running in the evening. The temperatures are just cool enough that I can head out for a run with Buster and not worry about it getting dark on me.
5. Everyone just seems happier this time of year. It’s kinda like Christmas all over again.
6. Easter – my favorite holiday of the year. The time where we remember Jesus death and sacrifice and celebrate in His resurrection! He is Risen. He is Risen, indeed. Hallelujah!
In preschool we talk about how Springtime is a time for many wonderful changes in our world. Trees blossoming, flowers blooming, the world just seems to come alive. It is during this time when I remember why I love Springtime so much. And it’s not just because of the 6 things I mentioned above. It’s really neat to watch my children react to the springtime. Hannah gets excited just seeing a simple flower in our yard. We happen to have bluebonnets springing up in our side yard. She is sooo excited. I have to mention that I am, too.
Cayden just loves seeing all the insects and animals. We’ve made a home for earthworms and pill bugs. We’ve made bird feeders for those birds (and squirrels).
What’s really amazing though is to see my kids make the connection between Springtime and Easter/Jesus. I know they don’t fully understand it all, but Cayden has told me this week, “It is (S)pring. (S)pring means that new life is coming. New birds, new bugs, and even Jesus. He is Risen!! I am so (ex)cited about Jesus! He loves us so much to die on the cross and then become alive again!”
I am sure that he doesn’t get the full concept behind everything he tells me, but the fact that he is becoming aware of it just makes my heart smile.
Hannah on the other hand, knows what death is and knows that Jesus came alive again on Easter. She knows that because of what he did for us, we will go to heaven. And she knows to tell others of His love. And to not only tell them, but also love them.
First I leave you with my favorite Lenten Hymn. The words are just amazing.
My Song is Love Unknown
My song is love unknown,
My Savior’s love to me;
Love to the loveless shown,
That they might lovely be.
O who am I, that for my sake
My Lord should take, frail flesh and die?
He came from His blest throne
Salvation to bestow;
But men made strange, and none
The longed for Christ would know:
But O! my Friend, my Friend indeed,
Who at my need His life did spend.
Sometimes they strew His way,
And His sweet praises sing;
Resounding all the day
Hosannas to their King:
Then “Crucify!” is all their breath,
And for His death they thirst and cry.
Why, what hath my Lord done?
What makes this rage and spite?
He made the lame to run,
He gave the blind their sight,
Sweet injuries! Yet they at these
Themselves displease, and ’gainst Him rise.
They rise and needs will have
My dear Lord made away;
A murderer they saved,
The Prince of life they slay,
Yet cheerful He to suffering goes,
That He His foes from thence might free.
In life, no house, no home
My Lord on earth might have;
In death no friendly tomb
But what a stranger gave.
What may I say? Heav’n was His home;
But mine the tomb wherein He lay.
Here might I stay and sing,
No story so divine;
Never was love, dear King!
Never was grief like Thine.
This is my Friend, in Whose sweet praise
I all my days could gladly spend.
My favorite Easter hymns come to mind and so I leave you with them:
At the Lamb’s High Feast – this has always been a favorite since college.
At the Lamb’s high feast we sing
Praise to our victorious king,
Who has washed us in the tide
Flowing from his pierced side.
Alleluia!
Easter triumph, Easter joy!
This alone can sin destroy;
From sin’s power, Lord, set us free,
Newborn souls in you to be.
Alleluia!
I Know My Redeemer Lives
I know that my Redeemer lives;
What comfort this sweet sentence gives!
He lives, He lives, who once was dead;
He lives, my ever living Head.
He lives, all glory to His Name!
He lives, my Jesus, still the same.
Oh, the sweet joy this sentence gives,
I know that my Redeemer lives!

Just a Rant

2010-03-31T17:52:00.002-05:00

I opened an account with Guaranty Bank last year because I was tired of driving up north to our Credit Union to deposit my check. For a while, I had just been cashing it, but then they started talking about having to pay fees for just cashing my check, so I decided to go ahead and just open an account. And then they were bought out by BBVA Compass.
Dealing with bank mergers is no fun to begin with, but today, I am absolutely furious and not much further now than I was at noon.
You see, lately, when I deposit my check, I have to tell them that my check is from Guaranty/Compass Bank because they don’t pay attention to the check to begin with. If you deposit a check and it’s not from Guaranty/Compass, they hold it for 48 hours. So I always mention to make sure not to hold my check because it is indeed from the same bank, hence why I opened the account.
Yesterday I did so and was assured that everything was okay. I went about the evening making purchases. And when I logged in this morning, my account was negative. Of course, I find my receipt and pick up the phone, spending nearly an hour on the phone, during a lunch date with BFF, Crystal, and continue to wait for answers. Turns out, they have no idea what happened to the check. Their log says it was deposited, and yet the bank itself says it wasn’t. And I have a receipt which says it was. So now?? The branch manager credits my account “for today” while they look into it, but wants to make sure I understand that at midnight, if my check is still lost, the account will go negative and I’ll be hit with fees, which they assured me will be taken care of tomorrow.
I’m just frustrated. I’m upset that this happened to begin with. I’m upset that I just ended a sentence with a dangling participle (I think that’s what it’s called). I’m upset that I spent quality girlfriend time on the phone and not chit chatting with Crystal. I’m just upset.
And to top off my day, I slipped and fell on my knee/butt while holding Cayden so my body is really going to be hurting tomorrow.
But I digress. Tomorrow is a new day. It’s Easter Party/Egg Hunt in preschool. And then we have a 3 day weekend (well, Hannah has a 3 day weekend). And we’re going to spend some time outside with family and friends. And take some more wildflower photos. I cannot wait!

Night Terrors

2010-03-30T18:49:00.002-05:00

Cayden has been experiencing night terrors. After several hours of sleep, he begins to scream inconsolably for 20-30 minutes. During this time, we do everything we can do wake him up. Sometimes he talks to us. Sometimes he appears to be awake but isn’t. And sometimes he just cries for what seems like forever.
Hannah had night terrors every now and then, but she would just scream out in the middle of the night and then be fine. With Cayden, it is a terrible ordeal that not only interrupts his and my sleep, but also really upsets the mommy.
I know it’s part of growing up and that most kids go through it, but there is nothing like watching your child scream and toss about in sheer terrible and not be able to stop it.
It’s effecting not only our nights, but also our days. There are times when I wander about like a zombie because I’m so tired. And you can tell that Cayden isn’t getting a good night’s sleep. He’s cranky, rude, and just tired. Of course, there are times when I am cranky, rude, and just tired. We make a good pair.

Can’t believe it’s Spring

2010-03-21T16:19:00.002-05:00

Spring is finally here in Austin. At least it was here for Spring Break. What a GORGEOUS week to spend with my family.
The week wasn’t 1/2 bad either. Not too much bickering from the kiddos. A couple of play dates with friends, and then two weeks days with Dad made for a fun week. The only day that the weather didn’t cooperate was on Tuesday – and the rains came down.
We did okay though, had a movie day inside.
Photography business is going well. I’m enjoying capturing other peoples blessings. Anyway I can help to preserve a memory in time is a blessing to me.
I did decide to get the week started off well. All of Hannah’s clothes for the week have been selected and folded neatly into a pile. All this week’s meals have also been planned. Stephen will head to the grocery store later. I’m thankful that he will go for me. I dread the grocery store.
I also dread little girls with big bad attitudes. We have been really working on how we talk to Mommy and Daddy. She doesn’t seem to give any other adults the ‘tude. Just her parents. And it’s unacceptable.
Overall, we’re having a great Spring. I cannot wait for the wildflowers to be in full bloom. We’ve seen them start to spring up here and there. Austin is going to be beautiful – which is great since last year they were a flop.
Let’s see if I can wrap up the past few months.

It snowed in Austin for the first time since 2003. We had record lows in January (for my birthday) but only got snow once.

Preschool has been so much fun. I’m enjoying getting to know not only my students and their families, but also the parents and children in Cayden’s class. It’s nice to have friends with children of the same age.

Hannah has been loving first grade. She’s doing really well and even wrote and illustrated a book. One of these days, I’ll get around to scanning it for all to read. She loves to write me notes and draw.

Hannah finished her marathon in February and got her medal. I’m so proud of that girl. She really worked hard. And she wants to run more. Of course, she also wants to be a figure skater when she grows up.

Cayden loves to sing and dance. He is a little obsessed with Phineas and Ferb as well as Alvin and the Chipmunks. In fact, for his birthday this year, we’re having a Chipmunk Party. He had the opportunity to see Sesame Street Live with his Mammaw. He loved it!!

We got a “new” couch, a new refrigerator, and new thresholds for our living room floors. I love them all. I also finished painting the kitchen. Now all we need to do is add some bead board. One day, when we have $$.
We also got a new dog. So now our family no longer outnumbers the animals. We are even. She’s a sweetheart Chihuahua named Sesi who meshes very well with our family.

Hannah learned to cross the monkey bars without any help. This is a HUGE since in February she wasn’t able to do it. Of course, Daddy gave her a buck for doing it. The power of a dollar.

Cayden runs around with no pants on a daily basis (he does have underwear on). He also insists on wearing it backwards because he can see the “picture” on them. Of course, the one photo I have of him and he’s got them on the right way.

I started running again (TODAY). I want to run a 1/2 marathon at the beginning of next year and need to really get into shape. But I have a great new friend who is going to run right along with me after her precious baby girl is born. I’m excited to have a running buddy.
And for once, I see the light at the end of this weight loss tunnel. I’m hoping to lose 30 lbs by Summer’s end. I’ve got more to lose, but 30 lbs is a start.

This blog is dedicated to Traci.

Christmas

2010-01-10T10:57:00.002-06:00

Life has been so busy around here that I haven’t been able to share about Christmas or New Year’s Eve with everyone. This year Christmas was so much fun. Seeing the excitement in the kids faces was so magical. It really made giving gifts more fun than receiving them. The children were so excited about giving everyone their gifts and even more excited about opening their own. We had four Christmases beginning the weekend before Christmas and continuing until Christmas afternoon. Here are some highlights:

A Cousin’s Christmas

McIntyre Christmas

Christmas Morning

Whitaker Christmas

Pete’s Trail and the Zilker Tree

Happy Christmas by Hannah

2009-12-05T13:56:00.003-06:00

“Have a happy Christmas, family,” said Hannah, when she got to Grandma’s and Grandpa’s house.
Hannah said, “I was sooooooo surprised!”
And then, my brother said, “What did you get me?”
I said, “It is a surprise.”
My brother said, “What does surprise mean?”
“A surprise means I can’t tell you what it is yet,” I said.
My brother said, “Oh.”
And then it was Christmas the next morning. My brother work up and said, “Hurray, hurray, it’s Christmas today!” Then he said, “Can I open the presents yet?”
“No, not yet, because we didn’t get yet.” I said.
And after we ate my Grandma told us the baby Jesus story and all of my cousins listened. And then after that everyone gave out their presents.
And then when my brother opened my present he said, “A Handy Manny repair shop!”
For my Daddy’s Christmas present my brother and I gave him a big kiss.
And then I opened my Grandma’s present. She gave me a Princess tea set.
And then Tyler and Blaine said, “Hannah what did you get for us?” I said, “Open your presents!” And they said, “Woah!! A Star Wars Build a Bear Workshop!”
And everybody said thank you for all the nice presents. And Grandpa said, “What did you get me?” I said, “A big kiss!”
And then I said, “Merry Christmas!”
And then the next day everyone came to my house and had chicken noodle soup!
The End.

Christmas at our House

2009-12-04T20:15:00.001-06:00

We spent the Sunday after Thanksgiving decorating our home for Christmas. Between travelling and photo shoots, I honest believed we weren’t going to get the tree up over our long weekend. But thanks to Stephen, we got the tree up, strung with lights (yes, our pre-lit tree is no more – a new tree is in our near future), and trimmed by Sunday evening.

It is Hannah’s year to top the tree. Cayden decided to get naked for the trimming. Those photos are not allowed to be shared online. We did get a few of him in his pull up before putting on PJs

McIntyre Christmas Corner

A few special ornaments

This ornament is from the year that Granny passed away. It means even more this year, now that PapPap has passed on. I really miss him. I missed receiving his Christmas card right after Thanksgiving. I just miss him in general.

And not that we don’t love Cayden, but for some reason, I couldn’t find his ornament. I know we made a handprint one the year he was born. I feel like a bad mom!

This is one of my favorite ornaments, give to me by the Taylor Family (Zion, Walburg) in 2002. Yes, our household believes in the magic of Santa. Please do not try to convince us otherwise. My kids know it’s “magical” (not pretend) and also know the true meaning of the season – Jesus’ birth.

Merry Christmas

2009-11-28T19:10:00.002-06:00

I took the kids out for a Christmas Card photo shoot. We had soo many pictures that it was too difficult to choose just one. This is the card we came up with this year. More to come

When it Rains, it Pours

2009-10-13T21:28:00.002-05:00

"Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning" (Psalm 30:5)
Life in the McIntyre Household has been very eventful this past week. Last Tuesday afternoon, Modesty and I treated our kiddos to a trip to a local Pumpkin Patch. It was hot. . it was humid, but they had so much fun. Okay, the BOYS had so much fun. Hannah was a grouch. And a complainer. But she did pose for photos like a good little girl. The kids each got to pick out a pumpkin and then we headed home.
Once we were home, Hannah came and placed her head in my lap only for me to realize she was burning up! Of course, after a rough night and a trip to the doctor the next day, we learn that she has the FLU. Influenza Type A1, which is apparently allowing the H1N1 strain to attach onto, meaning that she more than likely was infected with the glorious Swine Flu.
I must say that after 3 1/2 days of fever over 101 and a horrible cough, she's bounced back on Friday afternoon and has been fine ever since. Of course, that wasn't before I completely lost my mind and thought about moving to a tropical paradise without my family. Being cooped up with two children, one of which is NOT sick, and one who is acting like she's on her deathbed, can drive a mommy insane.
Thankfully, Stephen took over in the evenings (although Hannah only wanted mommy). On Friday, he did take the kids away (I can't remember where they went) and I was able to get a run in (and the weather was AMAZING), making my time amazing. I was also able to run on Saturday and again yesterday. I cannot believe how close I am to actually RUNNING for 30 minutes straight. At this point in time, I am not concentrating on distance or MPH but rather just building stamina. And I am getting there. I will run again on Thursday as I need to keep an eye on my knee for a few days.
Today was another story. This morning started off on a good start. I even got to work at 8:15 which is my ideal time for arriving to the Preschool. I like to get everything ready before the day begins since I have to leave the class several times a day to teach music to the little ones. Today, we got to school, I unbuckled Cayden like always, put him on the floorboard, told him to get out of the van, and headed to the back to get all our stuff. And then it happened. From the corner of my eye, I see my baby boy toppling head first out of the driver's seat. He had decided to climb through the seats and come out my door. Unfortunately, I hadn't closed it like I usually do so an accident was BOUND to happen.
And seeing it - in what felt like S-L-O-W motion - was more devastating than anything I've had to endure in quite a while.
Dropping everything I had gathered in a pile on the ground, I scooped Cayden up and held him tight. I was helpless. There was no one in the parking lot, no one answering the phone in the building so I just held him and waiting, trying to remain calm. Within minutes, several people arrived and helped us inside. We checked out his head and decided to have a "wait and see" approach until I was able to talk to his pediatrician.
I asked his teachers to keep an eye on him and to let me know if anything seemed weird. But 11:00 am, we had decided to make a call into the doctor's office again and see what to do. It was decided that with all Cayden's symptoms, he needed to be seen in the ER so off to Children's Hospital we went.
My amazing mother was able to leave work to pick up Stephen and then get Hannah from school and meet us at the hospital. And after several hours it was determined that he does have a concussion but seemed to be fairing well, so here we are at home, required to wake him up every 3 hours to make sure he's coherent.

The above photo is while we were waiting in the ER waiting room. He was telling me all about his bracelets. . the one with his name on it, and the one that says "don't eat tomatoes" (He has a tomato allergy and they wanted to make sure we didn't get a hold of any).
It's going to be a long night, BUT well worth it to make sure that nothing is seriously wrong with my baby boy.
And this is what I know in regards to my hectic life. I know I need to
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
My God is great and has not left me alone.
After reading a devotion I am reminded that in these moments it is time to "get on my knees and turn to my God. This is where my arrogance is broken: 'I can't do it'. This is where my pride is swallowed: 'I need you God'. This is where his Glory is revealed: 'I am weak'.This is where my path becomes straight, because its not me, but He who shines through me" (Words of Wisdom).

Kids Walk to Cure Diabetes

2009-10-12T09:42:00.002-05:00

The Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation visited Hannah's school last week and taught the children about type 1 and type 2 diabetes, as well as nutritional eating habits and exercise. Hannah was challenged to help by fundraising with the Kids Walk to Cure Diabetes.
Hannah now has the opportunity to participate in the fun by selling paper sneakers to friends, family, and YOU for a donation of $1 or more. not only will Hannah be helping to find a cure for diabetes, but JDRF will give Hannah's school an appreciation gift equal to 10% of the money raised. Hannah can win prizes as she fundraises to reach different prize levels and Hannah's school can receive a banner celebrating their success.
If you are interested in donated, you can send checks payable to JDRF to our address or give via my Pay Pal Account (rosemc99@gmail.com [www.paypal.com]) with JDRF in the notes/comments section so I know what it is for.
On collection day, Hannah will participate in the Walk to Cure Diabetes at her school. You can bet that I'll be there with her as she walks.
Diabetes is a disease that affects millions of American, including my nephew, Tyler, and our family friend, William. Each day more than 40 children are stricken with type 1 diabetes for which there is no cure. Thank you for your support of Hannah's fundraising effort to benefit both the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation as well as Hannah's school. For more information, please contact your local JDRF Chapter at 1-888-533-WALK, for visit www.jdrf.org/kidswalk

Running a Marathon

2009-10-04T12:52:00.002-05:00

1 Corinthians 9:24-27 "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."
Hannah and I are running a marathon this year. Not all at one time, but together, we are participating in the RunTex Marathon Kids Program. We each have a Runners log to keep track of the distance we are running. Of course, we aren't out there running together. Hannah is unable to keep up with my pace. There are time when we do go and run together, but for the most part, Hannah is running at school and I am running in the evenings. So far I have run a total of 14 miles since September. Hannah is on what I believe is mile 4. Pretty tough stuff if you want my opinion.

Yesterday we did run together at the Marathon Kids kick off. She was very hesitant about running with me on a track surrounded by lots of other people. In fact, part of the way through our run, I looked down and she had completely lost it. From the start line, we had been holding hands and running. I told her I'd hold her hand the entire time if she wanted me to. Looking down into her face and seeing it covered with tears as she said to me, "Mommy, I don't think I can do this." She was crying and running and trying to breathe all at the same time. We slowed down just a bit as I told her to look ahead towards the goal. We were nearly 1/2 way done with the lap. I reminded her that we would go at her speed, not Mommy's and finish this lap together. Towards the end of the lap, we were greeted by UT Athletes who were cheering the children on. This was the moment when Hannah dropped my hand and ran to the finish line. It was very hard for me to hold back the tears as my little girl gained the confidence and independence to finish the lap on her own.

This lap together has made me think back on all my training for the 5K. In July, I could barely run 60 seconds without getting winded and wanting to stop. And now, although I know it's been more than 9 week like the program should take, I am running at 6-7 minute intervals. RUNNING. I have gained more endurance and strength through my training.

I didn't get serious about training for the 5K until after our trip to Key Largo. So in 4 short weeks, I really have come from running 90 seconds to running 6 minutes. And it's not easy. There are days when I want to quit, but I don't because I know that what I am doing is making a huge impact, not just on my life, but on my children's. Hannah wants to go running because I MAKE myself get out there. She wants to do more active things because I am setting an example.
Of course, I couldn't do this alone. If it weren't for Stephen there for me in the evenings, willing to keep the children for 30-45 minutes while I take the dog and hit the road, this 5K would be near impossible. He has been so supportive of my training and that means a lot to me.
And of course, my dear friend and phone buddy/training buddy, Traci. She encourages me every day to continue in my training and in fact has challenged me to do a 5K or Half Marathon in February (whichever I'm ready for) just to keep me active. Although I'm not sure I would quit running after my run in November, it sure is nice to have something to keep my mind on to help me continue to train.
All this physical training reminds me of the spiritual training I went through growing up. Church and Sunday School were a part of my life. It was not a choice for me to NOT go to church with my family. We went to church, we went to Sunday School. We participated in youth activities, and belonged to OAFC (Ongoing Ambassadors for Christ). And through all of this, I really got the "training" I need for my life as an adult and as a parent. I use what I've learned to teach my children about Christ's Love. I use it daily to remind myself to be forgiving to not just others but myself.
It's a part of me. A part of my life and a part of my family. It is my prayer that the Lord uses me to teach my children to trust in Him as I do.
Both physical and spiritual exercise make me feel better. But no matter how much I exercise, there are going to be some days I just don't feel like doing it. What should I do when that happens? Do it anyway!

My Body is a Temple

2009-09-30T18:27:00.001-05:00

Reflections from 5 years ago:

I am God's creation. I am His child.

I want to glorify Him in all I do. That's why I am determined to use my weight loss to inspire others. My body is a temple from the Lord. I did not lose the weight the first time because of how others saw me. I was very unhappy with myself. And my being unhappy with myself caused my relationship with Him to suffer. So I turned to the Lord and asked for His guidance, and then I joined Weight Watchers.

I am blessed to be His child. And I am thankful for the success He has given and will give me.

^"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

For those of you who don't know, I've been training all summer for the Susan G. Komen Austin Race for the Cure. If you're inspired by my story, please click here to support me and help raise money to find a cure for Breast Cancer. Two women in my family have had breast cancer. One lost her battle - my great Aunt Mary. My Aunt Joanne is a survivor. Several women in Stephen's family have had breast cancer. His Grandma Reba lost her life. Aunt Debbie and Aunt Janet are both survivors. I'm sure there are more in the family as well as many around me - Molly, my dear friend, is a survivor. I am running in honor of them. I am running for my health. I am running for Him.

Just today I was thinking about how "unfun" it is to run alone. I doubt it would be "fun" at all to run with anyone, but if I had someone to pant to throughout the run, it might be easier???

And then I got to thinking, I'm NOT running alone. I'm running with Him. My heavenly father is with me the entire time. And I like to think that He's cheering me on. When I think about it, I recall several moments when I'm running and I hear that voice in my head, "You can do it. . . don't quit," and I have decided that it's not me talking. . it's Him. And that makes me want to do this even more.

He gave me this life. He did not make me overweight. And even with all the excuses I can give for who I have become physically, I realize this has also been a spiritual battle. And one that I'm not going to "win" on my own. I have to rely on Him.

And that's what I'm going to do.

So. . . I'm about to run the race. . . . but I will not run it alone.

New School Year

2009-09-16T16:04:00.001-05:00

Summer is officially over around here. Hannah headed back to school on August 24 with Cayden and me following on September 8. Unlike me, I didn't think to take pictures of Hannah on her first day. I got the traditional "photo with the teacher" at Meet the Teacher so I just left my camera at home.

Then everyone started posting photos of their kiddos on their first day. Crazy, I thought. Do people really take photos of their kids EVERY year? Apparently, everyone does. I didn't get any photos of Hannah on her first day, but how many people out there got THIRD day photos? And isn't she darling?? LOL

Now Cayden, I remembered to take the camera and take his picture. Of course I now look like I favor the boy, but that's okay, some days, I do. Cayden's first day of school this year was completely different than last year. Although I got an adorable photo of him proudly standing with his lunchbox and one of him happily standing with his teacher, getting away from him last year was torture. They had to peel him away from me as he kicked and screamed. And then I just had to walk away from it all because I had my own class to tend to.

This year was completely different, my sweet boy would not let me take his photo outside the school. In fact, he walked away from me, nap mat in hand, and headed to the school building. Once inside, he proceeded to find the trains and play on his own, barely stopping for the traditional "photo with the teacher." And in fact, we only got a photo with the Assistant Teacher. A photo with his lead teacher had to wait until the 2nd day of school, and even THAT took an act from above. But I got it. Along with a few photos of him with his little friends, although not his GIRLFRIEND. Sadly, she has moved to a different school. But Cayden has not forgotten her, nor will he "replace" her. I've asked him to give both these little girls kisses and he says, "But I can't. . . R is my girlfriend." Sigh

So the school year has begun. And it's off to a great start. A bit more homework. Two children who are exhausted at the end of the day. Perhaps an earlier bedtime coming soon. Regardless, a great start!

Just a Little Moody

2009-09-09T16:57:00.001-05:00

The weekend after I returned from Pennsylvania, we decided to take a whirlwind trip to Galveston. The kids really wanted to go to the beach, I really wanted to spend some time with them away from home, and one of my best friends needed a vacation, so we loaded up in the van and headed to Moody Gardens for 2 nights and 1 1/2 days the weekend before school started. I don't know what we were thinking. I do know that we just wanted to have some last minute summer fun before settling in to a new routine involving waking up super early and sending our children off to school. It was worth it!

Trip in photos:

Trip to PA

2009-08-18T11:22:00.001-05:00

On August 7, 2009, one of the most influential men in my life passed away. I remember spending summers with him and all the love he shared with my sister and me. He called me Rosie and loved me very much. And now he's with Jesus. And I'm okay with that, although even thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. He was my grandma's life partner, married 57 years and possible the sweetest man alive (although he did have his moments). I miss him terribly and am blessed to have had him as my PapPap for 31 years of my life.

His death called for an impromptu trip to PA. I traveled alone and joined my mom and her family. In spite of the reason for gathering together, the visit was one of sharing memories and making new ones. During this visit, I was able to meet my Aunt Teresa (Uncle Paul's wife), spend time with my aunt, uncles, and cousins, and visit with relatives I haven't seen (or remembered) in 21 years.

I also got to play with my new camera and capture some of these moments on film. There was laughter and tears and even moments of rage, all part of the grieving process, which we will be going through for several months.

The service was beautiful. Heather and I sang Great is Thy Faithfulness in beautiful harmony. The congregation sang Amazing Grace and shared stories of PapPap from his servant heart to his crazy driving to the summers Heather and I spent in PA learning to roller skate to organ music. Eddie sang I Can Only Imagine and the service ended with Because He Lives. I completely lost it during Amazing Grace and Because He Lives. I've lost it several other times and will continue to do so as I mourn the loss of this special man.

He was laid to rest at the National Cemetery of the Alleghenies in Bridgeville, PA on Thursday at a small service I was unable to attend. He received a military burial and the flag given to Grandma was placed in a beautiful frame along with the medals he received while serving.